advise on f-up at work - ***RESOLVED***

[billnchristy]

As I get older my tolerance for BS just drops and drops. I used to take the crap and eat it but now I dish it back. It's made for some tense moments and yeah, I get unprofessional at times, I'm a sailor, and I give a shit so it happens. I thought I really boned it up last year. I had a blowout with my boss and not long after I was placed under the production manager, a move, in my opinion, to get me to leave because I told this guy I would never work that way.

Well, the production manager here is a good guy and I had no problem with it, in fact, it was a better arrangement because I didn't need to butt heads with the guy anymore. A few months later he recommended me for the job I am in now so I guess there wasn't any bad blood.

I'd approach the situation as an apology but with a big ass but. You and everyone else know there is a problem, just saying sorry isn't going to fix it. I'd say something like "I know what I did was unprofessional but I think we really need to talk about the state of this department..." etc so forth.

It lets you get the weight off your chest, lets him know people are not happy, and let's you save face by still being genuinely sorry that you did it in the way you did.

If it goes to shit it's not your fault.

[c1pher]

Originally Posted by ppointer

#2 directly to the manager, in person. Then, if that person wants a public apology, let them request it. Make yourself accountable in a proactive way. Manage the situation, or it will manage you.

I feel being direct, but polite is best. Staffing is a common issue across the board as companies are always trying to run on a razor’s edge. You’re only human and it builds on the stress. You may be the canary in the coal mine to the manager that they need to make some adjustments. Just say you’re doing the best you can, you want to deliver but you feel held up by lack of resources and you feel it’s impacting results….obviously not those exact words, but fit it to your situation.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by NickyC

Basically what I was thinking. I'm on so many Teams chats as a manager, unless I'm pinged directly I almost never bother to read very closely. My thought was the manager guy never even saw it, and all OP would have to worry about is some rat mentioning it to him/her.

I send detailed emails to people at work every single day, describing a situation/problem in their area and asking the recipient what they want to do to proceed. The reply almost every time - "Thank you!" How do I know what they want me to do for them?!?!?

[Mason Hatcher]

Originally Posted by floridaorange

I am asking because it reads, to me, as though he is young.

[nazali]

no harm, no foul

Originally Posted by Mason Hatcher

I am asking because it reads, to me, as though he is young.

[dreamingat30fps]

Honestly... I'm not seeing many options. I think it's time to make the call....

Remember it's a dust filter for a hoover max extract pressure pro model 60. Good luck!

[tranquility]

This really seemed like something OP would do...and now actually did lol. Sorry haha.

I'd leave the hornet's nest alone, maybe your mgr is embarrassed too, why force the issue? If you get called out, you'll know. Who doesn't know ppl gossip? Just that this was explicitly said out loud haha.

[nazali]

I'm going to run with this,

Was working today, manager was friendly/cordial, didn't mention anything, the usual Office gossip machine didnt reach out, no emails, no skyps, no "can I speak to you when you have a minute"

I have a meeting with my manager, usually happens every couple of weeks for a catch-up, which is nothing out of the ordinary, one day next week.

So I have the old "sword of damocles hanging over me" could go either way.

I've decided not to bring it up, but may "again" bring up the state of staffing, if it comes up, I'll play it by ear, I'm not going to beg for mercy, nor really apologise.

I didn't actually call out my manager, either by function or by name, it's nothing that no-one has said before, even in our team meets, with the manager. I understand that some staffing issues are due to having to get "approvals" so my get outta jail is, I was making a generalization and not calling "you" out, but if you feel "hurt" then I do apologse no offense was intended.

I think if I go straight out and apologise, it def makes me look in the wrong, I'm aiming for, I'm just talking about what everyone else is although maybe not as subtle, and that week was a bi&tch and the frustration bubbled out.
I didn't think I was out of order but in hindsight I probably was thank you for bringing it up I will make a note to not be too blatent on chats

If that doesnt work, I'll collapse into a heap on the floor saying something "please don't fire me think of my wife and 10 kids, 2 dogs, cat, budgie" or the ultimate, "How am I going to afford my BMW now"

Originally Posted by tranquility

I'd leave the hornet's nest alone, maybe your mgr is embarrassed too, why force the issue?

If you get called out, you'll know. Who doesn't know ppl gossip? Just that this was explicitly said out loud haha.

[c1pher]

Don't apologize

[tranquility]

Originally Posted by nazali

I'm going to run with this,

Was working today, manager was friendly/cordial, didn't mention anything, the usual Office gossip machine didnt reach out, no emails, no skyps, no "can I speak to you when you have a minute"

I have a meeting with my manager, usually happens every couple of weeks for a catch-up, which is nothing out of the ordinary, one day next week.

So I have the old "sword of damocles hanging over me" could go either way.

I've decided not to bring it up, but may "again" bring up the state of staffing, if it comes up, I'll play it by ear, I'm not going to beg for mercy, nor really apologise.

I didn't actually call out my manager, either by function or by name, it's nothing that no-one has said before, even in our team meets, with the manager. I understand that some staffing issues are due to having to get "approvals" so my get outta jail is, I was making a generalization and not calling "you" out, but if you feel "hurt" then I do apologse no offense was intended.

I think if I go straight out and apologise, it def makes me look in the wrong, I'm aiming for, I'm just talking about what everyone else is although maybe not as subtle, and that week was a bi&tch and the frustration bubbled out.
I didn't think I was out of order but in hindsight I probably was thank you for bringing it up I will make a note to not be too blatent on chats

If that doesnt work, I'll collapse into a heap on the floor saying something "please don't fire me think of my wife and 10 kids, 2 dogs, cat, budgie" or the ultimate, "How am I going to afford my BMW now"

Ya, I think that's the right way to go about it. Like I said, you dunno if your mgr is embarrassed and doesn't want to bring it up either, and you doing the mea culpa doesn't look good at all: you said that the rant was general, so it would be 'hilarious' if s/he didn't know it was about her/him but if you voluntarily decided to apologize, that would be a D'OH moment.

Something similar happened many years ago when my colleague had his back to my office door and he started ranting about our boss, and, ofc, she comes into my room and it was *awkward* haha. If you wanna bad-mouth someone, esp your superiors, make sure it doesn't come back to them. Everyone just pretended it didn't happen and nothing happened to my colleague haha.

[DO444]

Originally Posted by nazali

So... I made a monumental F-up, I commented on a skype chat, to a group, instead of to a person I was bitching to (you know water cooler stuff) not lies but some serious workplace issues, it is actually a pretty toxic workplace.

so the problem is my manager was on this chat and they are responsible for cover/staffing etc and I wasn't too complementary on the chat, but I did not call out the manager by name, just saying stuff about staffing level and how we can exactly go on. most of my team complain to me about the manager and things like this.

I'm a lead, so I report to the manager, could not delete the thread, messages, and the whole team plus a few others where on that group chat

So now I'm not sure how to handle it. I havent seen any messages or emails nor anything saying... "ahem can I have a word with you" I decided to take a couple of days off, as sometimes being out of the scene can help cool things down.

so I have been keeping an eye on that chat and it seems buisness as usual, I know the person got it on the mobile app.

Sooo what do I do,

1> Ignore it, wait till the approach me, if they do

2> Apologise, as it wasn't the thing to do and it also wasnt meant to be on group

3> Confront the manager, saying I'm sick and tried of all the crap I'm getting and the team, thats why it came to a head

4> something different


txs peeps

Do nothing.
Look for a new job.

[nazali]

I am and have been

Originally Posted by DO444

Do nothing.
Look for a new job.

[nerdogray]

Lot of recommendations to be direct and own up to it. My bet is it wasn't even noticed, and those that did see it didn't care. I also think that if you do say something, they'll be like "what?" and then go looking for it, so then you will have created a problem where there was none. I don't think it's worth all this honorable crap. People are stuck in the past (I'm 50, by the way) trying to apply old habits in a new context. I admire owning up to shit, but in today's world? Fuck it. Just keep looking for another job and move on when you can.

[DO444]

Originally Posted by nazali

I am and have been

10/10

[DO444]

Originally Posted by nerdogray

Lot of recommendations to be direct and own up to it. My bet is it wasn't even noticed, and those that did see it didn't care. I also think that if you do say something, they'll be like "what?" and then go looking for it, so then you will have created a problem where there was none. I don't think it's worth all this honorable crap. People are stuck in the past (I'm 50, by the way) trying to apply old habits in a new context. I admire owning up to shit, but in today's world? Fuck it. Just keep looking for another job and move on when you can.

Agreed, if no one said anything and the person is actively searching anyway… it only stands to hurt him to bring it up.

The more time passes the further away it gets and the less likely he will reap any benefit from reminding anyone of it.

I agree with your assessment of the current culture also. Morality is not rewarded in the majority of situations, it’s frequently punished.

[nazali]

Have a meeting with manager this afternoon, will report back on the results , WML

[NealfromNZ]

I think for the sake of your career at your current job an apology would be in order.

Trust me, if one of my team ( have 52 ) did this in a teams meeting it wouldn’t go unnoticed and wouldn’t take comments as constructive criticism.

Frame it up as an error in judgment and against the values of company you’re working for. But also ask if there is a way to give constructive feedback as obviously you have frustrations with the current working environment.

Have a think about what can be improved and how you can contribute to improvement. But also during conversation see how open or otherwise the manager is to the conversation . Look for body queues / body language that are positive, if they are mirror them with your own body language.

You may be able to turn this situation around. But if you do nothing I’d suggest start looking for a new role elsewhere.

[billnchristy]

Originally Posted by nazali

er what ..... ?

Have a meeting with manager this afternoon, will report back on the results , WML

Did he shoot you?

[virtualbong]

This thread is too long to read everything but has there been more posts in that chat since that day? Maybe the manager never even saw the post? It sometimes get so busy that I would need to be "@me" in slack for me to even think about looking at a chat thread. If I was the manager, if I saw it, I would proactively discuss the matter with the person who posted it but not all leaders are created the same. Maybe he or she is boiling up inside and ready to rip him a new one, haha.

[nazali]

ok peep's

So to comment

* The teams chats went on as per normal
* The manager doesn't read everything and usually only catches up as is too busy
* been a good what week and a half
* cancelled out of Mondays meetings as too busy
* relationship is still cordial, no untoward wording
* Had a group meeting and I stayed behind to catch up with a few things
and this is how our "let's have a quick chat meeting went"

1> Mainly work orientated
2> Discussing staffing issues
3> Got pulled up for having BMW forums up on my laptop instead of work

and.........................

nothing, I took advise from above, said nothing, admitted to nothing and was ready to defend myself at all costs

and....... NOTHING

Now whether my manager was aware and decided it was no big deal, didn't see anything, or just enough time went by, but we are now over this hump

still job hunting though

[nazali]

aaaaand

[nazali]

this is what I think happened/at least hoped

Originally Posted by virtualbong

This thread is too long to read everything but has there been more posts in that chat since that day? Maybe the manager never even saw the post? It sometimes get so busy that I would need to be "@me" in slack for me to even think about looking at a chat thread. If I was the manager, if I saw it, I would proactively discuss the matter with the person who posted it but not all leaders are created the same. Maybe he or she is boiling up inside and ready to rip him a new one, haha.