New Ytest
Sign out
Bimmerpost
Login
BMW E39 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts  
Go Back   BMW E39 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      12-06-2017, 11:14 AM   #1
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Talking The OFFICIAL online dating thread!

I surely am not the only one here that participates in online dating. Truth be told, no idea why I still bother at all.Seems like 99% of these women are nuts, bums, have 84 kids and/or are obese.

At least I have many hilarious stories to tell because of it. Don't get me wrong, I haven't had 100% bad experiences with it, but lately the game seems to be a pile of bs.

Anyway, I received a message from a woman this morning. I looked at her profile and her profession is "Self-sufficient" aka she has to be unemployed. Her body type is listed as "Athletic" Take a look at the pics and bam, no "athletic" to be found per usual. May as well be a largely obese woman using the "curvy" type.

I have attached a photo for your viewing pleasure.

So let's use this thread to share our hilarious, good and bad, stories of online dating.

UPDATE 4/9/18: I started a blog to chronicle some of the hilarity. Some will get it & some will have no sense so I'll be called an asshole. Enjoy!
https://datingstinksnow.blogspot.com/
Attached Images
 

Last edited by Never_Enough; 04-09-2018 at 12:42 PM..
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 11:40 AM   #2
nyalpine90
Lieutenant General
nyalpine90's Avatar
7546
Rep
11,927
Posts

 
Drives: MY24 G01 AW Msport
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: L.I. NY

iTrader: (4)

Garage List
2016 BMW X4  [9.25]
POFISH...lol

I use to be on it , yes plenty of nutjobs lol
few times i said to myself this wasnt on her profile....what am i doing here??? WTF??
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 11:40 AM   #3
Captain Blood
Banned
United_States
13874
Rep
14,519
Posts

 
Drives: Audi S3....don't judge me
Join Date: May 2017
Location: Alph Ceti VI

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2016 Audi S3  [9.50]
2012 135  [6.83]
Be nice. That's my sister.
Appreciate 2
      12-06-2017, 11:52 AM   #4
CTinline-six
Hoonigan
CTinline-six's Avatar
United_States
6941
Rep
3,017
Posts

 
Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
I did online dating for a while. I was commuting to college, working full-time, etc so it was hard to meet someone.

I learned that 99% of the women who are online are nuts in one way or another. Many of the profiles are scams (Tinder is full of that) or the women think extremely highly of themselves or have social issues. Self-confidence is important, but so is self-awareness. Many of them are also not single, and are either looking to cheat, or are in abusive relationships they don't know how to get out of.

I went on a date with a 24 year old who actually wore her wedding ring to the date. She was very attractive, but I didn't want to get involved with that at the time, I have enough headaches in my life.

Another one failed to mention she had a kid until the second date. I don't need a kid right now, sorry, and lying about that makes me wonder what other shit you are hiding.

I also met a few really nice women online, but those seemed far and few between, and many of them were like me and were on there because they had busy schedules, which didn't make things any easier.

I found a lot them had social issues, and it was very apparent on the first date. I'm very outgoing, I like to have fun, play sports, etc, and many of these women seemed to have a hard time communicating or being exposed to social situations. It takes guts, but I found the best thing to do is go to a social event and approach someone. Talk to them, and within the first few minutes you can get a good idea of who you are dealing with and if the person is worth it or not. Pictures online can also be deceiving (good or bad) compared to in person.
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
Appreciate 1
      12-06-2017, 11:54 AM   #5
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
POFISH...lol

I use to be on it , yes plenty of nutjobs lol
few times i said to myself this wasnt on her profile....what am i doing here??? WTF??
Plenty of Whales too
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 11:55 AM   #6
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
I had to ask what her job is. She said she is a nurse.
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 12:00 PM   #7
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
I did online dating for a while. I was commuting to college, working full-time, etc so it was hard to meet someone.

I learned that 99% of the women who are online are nuts in one way or another. Many of the profiles are scams (Tinder is full of that) or the women think extremely highly of themselves or have social issues. Self-confidence is important, but so is self-awareness. Many of them are also not single, and are either looking to cheat, or are in abusive relationships they don't know how to get out of.

I went on a date with a 24 year old who actually wore her wedding ring to the date. She was very attractive, but I didn't want to get involved with that at the time, I have enough headaches in my life.

Another one failed to mention she had a kid until the second date. I don't need a kid right now, sorry, and lying about that makes me wonder what other shit you are hiding.

I also met a few really nice women online, but those seemed far and few between, and many of them were like me and were on there because they had busy schedules, which didn't make things any easier.

I found a lot them had social issues, and it was very apparent on the first date. I'm very outgoing, I like to have fun, play sports, etc, and many of these women seemed to have a hard time communicating or being exposed to social situations. It takes guts, but I found the best thing to do is go to a social event and approach someone. Talk to them, and within the first few minutes you can get a good idea of who you are dealing with and if the person is worth it or not. Pictures online can also be deceiving (good or bad) compared to in person.
No doubt that most of these women think that men owe them the world and they are the hottest thing since sliced bread. Meanwhile, they have multiple kids, are 30s or older & have a 20 year's old job of cashier or something, don't have their own place, live like pigs, etc. I always get a kick out of the obese ones that think men should bow to them. Bitch please.

& yes to the zero social skills part too. Here is another fun story...I get to the bar before the chick I'm supposed to meet. I'm playing on my phone outside & she walks up. What does she do? Not comes up to me & says hi like a normal person. She texts me from 3 feet away with "I'm looking at you." WTF?!?!

I should have left then, but I went in with her & she proceeded to literally play with her thumbs & not speak. After a couple minutes of no change no matter how much I spoke, I had to roll out.
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 12:04 PM   #8
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Oh man, just had some chick tell me she has no fun plans this week, but is preparing for her birthday. I ask what's going on & she asks me for money because she wants to go to Vegas. Unreal. I told her to get a job & she blocked me LMAO.
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 12:17 PM   #9
CTinline-six
Hoonigan
CTinline-six's Avatar
United_States
6941
Rep
3,017
Posts

 
Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
She texts me from 3 feet away with "I'm looking at you." WTF?!?!
I had that happen once. I literally said "well, why don't you come on over and say "hi" I won't bite... yet". She was pretty cool afterward and it ended up being a fun night, but you could tell at first she had no idea how to approach me and say hi. I mean at this point I had texted her for a couple days, not some random person I bumped into at a Walgreens for the first time.

The phone thing drives me nuts. I actually believe it is because sometimes they are nervous, and use the phone as a blocking device for the situation.

The women who think they deserve to be bowed down to is pretty amusing. My friend is on POF and he screen shotted me a pic of this one chick's profile. She included "riding in expensive cars, going shopping, laying out on yachts" as her interests. Her profession was listed as "retail". If that doesn't scream gold digger I'm not sure what does.
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 12:31 PM   #10
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
I had that happen once. I literally said "well, why don't you come on over and say "hi" I won't bite... yet". She was pretty cool afterward and it ended up being a fun night, but you could tell at first she had no idea how to approach me and say hi. I mean at this point I had texted her for a couple days, not some random person I bumped into at a Walgreens for the first time.
Nice work. I could have tried that if I did not look up & see her 1st lol. This kind of bs is why I make them come to my town where I can walk to the bars & then walk home after I wasted time on the date. I get to pre-game before the date. Less time wasted & no worries of a DUI FTW.

Quote:
The phone thing drives me nuts. I actually believe it is because sometimes they are nervous, and use the phone as a blocking device for the situation.
Technology & social media have ruined this world.

Quote:
The women who think they deserve to be bowed down to is pretty amusing. My friend is on POF and he screen shotted me a pic of this one chick's profile. She included "riding in expensive cars, going shopping, laying out on yachts" as her interests. Her profession was listed as "retail". If that doesn't scream gold digger I'm not sure what does.
I hope she was at least hot.
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 12:46 PM   #11
CTinline-six
Hoonigan
CTinline-six's Avatar
United_States
6941
Rep
3,017
Posts

 
Drives: '09 328i, '98 Wrangler
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Connecticut

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
I hope she was at least hot.
Ehhhhh. lol


I also found bars suck for dates. Usually loud so you can't talk to them, and the last time I was in a bar it was student night or something and the bar flooded with a bunch of 21 year old idiot college kids.

Do something fun. The last one I went on we went to one of those rope obstacle courses. That was fun as hell and gives you more chances to make a move when she needs help climbing up something. Ice skating is fun too but you have to have a good sense of humor. I'm terrible at skating but that actually worked to my advantage. I had a bunch of little kids come up to me and tell me I fall a lot, which I joked around with them and she thought was cute.
__________________
"Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

-Dr. Ian Malcolm, Jurassic Park
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 12:53 PM   #12
scostu
Colonel
scostu's Avatar
United_States
1622
Rep
2,036
Posts

 
Drives: 2016 F25
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Space Coast Florida...aka NASA area

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
I surely am not the only one here that participates in online dating. Truth be told, no idea why I still bother at all.Seems like 99% of these women are nuts, bums, have 84 kids and/or are obese.

At least I have many hilarious stories to tell because of it. Don't get me wrong, I haven't had 100% bad experiences with it, but lately the game seems to be a pile of bs.

Anyway, I received a message from a woman this morning. I looked at her profile and her profession is "Self-sufficient" aka she has to be unemployed. Her body type is listed as "Athletic" Take a look at the pics and bam, no "athletic" to be found per usual. May as well be a largely obese woman using the "curvy" type.

I have attached a photo for your viewing pleasure.

So let's use this thread to share our hilarious, good and bad, stories of online dating.
Depends on where ONE is located in this country. In some states, she WOULD be considered athletic.....ever been to Mississippi??!!!
__________________
Appreciate 2
MKSixer34126.50
      12-06-2017, 12:53 PM   #13
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by CTinline-six View Post
Ehhhhh. lol


I also found bars suck for dates. Usually loud so you can't talk to them, and the last time I was in a bar it was student night or something and the bar flooded with a bunch of 21 year old idiot college kids.

Do something fun. The last one I went on we went to one of those rope obstacle courses. That was fun as hell and gives you more chances to make a move when she needs help climbing up something. Ice skating is fun too but you have to have a good sense of humor. I'm terrible at skating but that actually worked to my advantage. I had a bunch of little kids come up to me and tell me I fall a lot, which I joked around with them and she thought was cute.
Yea, I used to pick fun things to do, but just ends up a waste of time most times. So just get a drink so I can get out quick with minimal funds and time lost when it really goes bad. If things go well, there can be a 2nd or 3rd fun date. That's just how I do things now. I'm honestly tired of dating. It's hell. I have a high libido so I keep on truckin'!
Appreciate 1
geogerf116.50
      12-06-2017, 12:56 PM   #14
HyeWarrior
Major
764
Rep
1,125
Posts

 
Drives: 2019 HKS M2C
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: SoCal

iTrader: (1)

I went on one date from POF like 5 years ago. Deleted it the next day.

Was talking to a chick who looked great in her photos. We decided to go out on July 4th because I was leaving the country a couple days after. Went to pick her up, big mistake. Ended up being a neighborhood in the heart of the ghetto of LA, with fireworks flying up and down the street. Pulled up to the house with the matching address, all the lights are off, bars on the windows, almost looks abandoned. Then a tall dark figure comes out and comes to the car; she gets in. Her profile had her listed at 5’5. I’m 6’0 and this girl was tall enough to kick my ass. Needless to say, the weight listed on her profile was clearly a lie. Oh, and braces too.

It being 4th of July, we didn’t really make plans, we just went to a frozen yogurt place and hung out. I wasn’t down to spend more for this. The funniest part, when we got to the yogurt place, I went to use the restroom, and I hear her and the workers chit chatting while I went to look for an escape route window. I hear one of the workers say “oh, is it your guys’ first date? He’s cute!” To which she responded “no, he’s my boyfriend at this point”. I’m sure you can imagine I tried flushing myself down the toilet after hearing that. Anyways. We had yogurt, I managed to cut the night short and went to drop her off at home. She leaned in to make out, and I gave her the cheek. Told her I might be getting sick (in order to avoid getting stabbed by her or her family). Tried texting me the next day, and I just never replied, blocked her number, deleted my POF account, and set all my social media on private in case.


Never again. Funny enough, I met my current girlfriend (and definite future wife) of 2 years off Instagram lol
Appreciate 3
MKSixer34126.50
shay2nak1066.50
      12-06-2017, 12:59 PM   #15
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by HyeWarrior View Post
I went on one date from POF like 5 years ago. Deleted it the next day.

Was talking to a chick who looked great in her photos. We decided to go out on July 4th because I was leaving the country a couple days after. Went to pick her up, big mistake. Ended up being a neighborhood in the heart of the ghetto of LA, with fireworks flying up and down the street. Pulled up to the house with the matching address, all the lights are off, bars on the windows, almost looks abandoned. Then a tall dark figure comes out and comes to the car; she gets in. Her profile had her listed at 5’5. I’m 6’0 and this girl was tall enough to kick my ass. Needless to say, the weight listed on her profile was clearly a lie. Oh, and braces too.

It being 4th of July, we didn’t really make plans, we just went to a frozen yogurt place and hung out. I wasn’t down to spend more for this. The funniest part, when we got to the yogurt place, I went to use the restroom, and I hear her and the workers chit chatting while I went to look for an escape route window. I hear one of the workers say “oh, is it your guys’ first date? He’s cute!” To which she responded “no, he’s my boyfriend at this point”. I’m sure you can imagine I tried flushing myself down the toilet after hearing that. Anyways. We had yogurt, I managed to cut the night short and went to drop her off at home. She leaned in to make out, and I gave her the cheek. Told her I might be getting sick (in order to avoid getting stabbed by her or her family). Tried texting me the next day, and I just never replied, blocked her number, deleted my POF account, and set all my social media on private in case.
Yup, typical online dating. I've met plenty that use old pics before they put on weight. I know men do it too. Do these idiots really think no one will notice or care? Also met one that managed to hide her wonky eye in her pics. Yea, that was fun.


Quote:
Never again. Funny enough, I met my current girlfriend (and definite future wife) of 2 years off Instagram lol
How'd that happen? I only get dudes telling me nice cars on IG.
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 03:03 PM   #16
F30lolz
I can haz cheezburger?
F30lolz's Avatar
6809
Rep
3,678
Posts

 
Drives: 14 Jeep/18 1500/08 e90/15 f36
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Miami, FL/Shelbyville, IN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by Never_Enough View Post
I surely am not the only one here that participates in online dating. Truth be told, no idea why I still bother at all.Seems like 99% of these women are nuts, bums, have 84 kids and/or are obese.

At least I have many hilarious stories to tell because of it. Don't get me wrong, I haven't had 100% bad experiences with it, but lately the game seems to be a pile of bs.

Anyway, I received a message from a woman this morning. I looked at her profile and her profession is "Self-sufficient" aka she has to be unemployed. Her body type is listed as "Athletic" Take a look at the pics and bam, no "athletic" to be found per usual. May as well be a largely obese woman using the "curvy" type.

I have attached a photo for your viewing pleasure.

So let's use this thread to share our hilarious, good and bad, stories of online dating.
WTF OP, he's my mother
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by RaptorKTM View Post
Also our E90 330 and 325 will soon have some sort of boost. So there is actually more of a chance to get more hp out of a 330 then a 335 in my opinion
Appreciate 2
MKSixer34126.50
      12-06-2017, 03:08 PM   #17
Dang3r
Schmollbraten
Dang3r's Avatar
Germany
12482
Rep
1,985
Posts

 
Drives: M4CPC // HP4 Comp.
Join Date: Jun 2015
Location: Liandri Central Core

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by F30lolz View Post
WTF OP, he's my mother
Stifflers mom is your mom? Banned!
__________________
Citizen of ///M - Town, where too much is just right

Some say, that my scrotum has its own small gravity field and when Im slowing down that brake lights come on at my buttox
Appreciate 2
F30lolz6809.00
      12-06-2017, 03:34 PM   #18
kprocivic
Lieutenant Colonel
kprocivic's Avatar
814
Rep
1,575
Posts

 
Drives: ecoboost s to the t
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: 92346

iTrader: (7)

I have banged more chicks then I'd like to admit from pof. Some crazies, some brazies, some good ones. Online dating is here and isn't going anywhere.
Appreciate 1
      12-06-2017, 03:53 PM   #19
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by kprocivic View Post
I have banged more chicks then I'd like to admit from pof. Some crazies, some brazies, some good ones. Online dating is here and isn't going anywhere.
That's all it's good for anymore IMO. Years ago, I actually dated some chicks for a while I met on okcupid & POF. Anymore, no one I meet is worth dating, just banging or running away from.
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 03:53 PM   #20
Never_Enough
Banned
United_States
2225
Rep
2,476
Posts

 
Drives: Satan's Chariot 2.0
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: PA

iTrader: (6)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by F30lolz View Post
WTF OP, he's my mother
He?
Appreciate 0
      12-06-2017, 04:10 PM   #21
FlaPatsFan
Major
749
Rep
1,149
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 328i wagon
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kprocivic View Post
I have banged more chicks then I'd like to admit from pof. Some crazies, some brazies, some good ones. Online dating is here and isn't going anywhere.
Ditto, except I used Match.com. But in my final month before canceling I met my now Wife and have a beautiful 4 month old son. There is hope people. Oh and all the youngsters and cool kids use Bumble now.
Appreciate 1
kprocivic813.50
      12-06-2017, 04:40 PM   #22
F30lolz
I can haz cheezburger?
F30lolz's Avatar
6809
Rep
3,678
Posts

 
Drives: 14 Jeep/18 1500/08 e90/15 f36
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Miami, FL/Shelbyville, IN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Back in the late 90's/early 2000's I met numerous girls through AOL chat rooms all in the Tri-State area. I was living an hour north of NYC at the time and there were some good one's and some no bueno:

Girl from The Bronx - white chick, maybe a few years younger than I was. Cool chick, down to Earth and was fun outside of the sheets as in the sheets. Lasted for maybe a few months.

Girl from Yonkers - another white chick, younger and we had sex in one of my e34's down by the Metro North Station in Yonkers lol. Met a few more times at her parents house in her cramped room and she didn't want a condom on so I was maybe 24-25 yrs old and said fuck it, lets do it. She didn't want me to bust up in her so I had to pull out and spray her stomach. Fun times leaving on the edge. Lasted a few months IIRC

Girl who lived maybe 15 minutes north of me - another white chick, was 18 when I was about 24. Was mad as we never had sex as she only let me eat her out and that was it. She did play with my Johnson once but after a few times of eating her out, I ended it. Wanted more but I passed on as there was no ass involved.

Girl near Rockaway Beach - Met her with no pic involved. BIG MISTAKE

I posted this story before on here but I'll give the short version here: Had a close friend by the name of Tina who is full blow lesbian now but I was around when she began exploring maybe 2001/2002. She wanted me to go with her out in Long Island to meet this chick. We all went to a club and this chick had a friend with her. We all go back to a hotel room and I showered with her friend, sex on the bed, blah blah blah. Actually was a 3some when Tina was in the shower and I had two girls with me on the bed. Phun tymes.

This chick who lived 30 minutes north of me - another white girl (not really cute and a lil' chubby but I said fuck it). Banged her once as I was turned off by the fact she left her socks on and she was making strange moaning sounds.

Girl lived 20 minutes north of me - Met at a Red Lobster and she wanted to come home with me. I wasn't really into her (5 out of 10, slim white girl) and wanted sex but I DECLINED. Just wasn't into her.

Some more that I don't remember off hand....

Oh wait, boy I was bad

I was 24 and this girl was still in HS but claimed to be 18 (maybe she was 17). Lived 30 minutes west of me, white chick, kinda thick but in the right places. Sex for about 2 months and I had to end it as she was getting too attached. She hated me for that. Called her up a month later and it lasted for another 2 months IIRC.

Another white girl in my town of Beacon, NY (for those keeping score at home) was a few years younger. She only came to my place to bang and hang out. No condom as well so had to pull out numerous times. She eventually moved to GA. I miss those days
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by RaptorKTM View Post
Also our E90 330 and 325 will soon have some sort of boost. So there is actually more of a chance to get more hp out of a 330 then a 335 in my opinion
Appreciate 3
Dang3r12481.50
kprocivic813.50
FSociety3872.00
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 03:23 PM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST