Professionalism

[Samurai of 2day]

I'm not sure if this belongs in the "You Know Your Old" thread, but I've been experiencing a drastic decline in the quality of attitude/ approach/demeanor when dealing with people who are in the business of providing a service.

Now I already know I'm not going to be treated nicely off the rip because of my physical appearance, (which has always been offensive to people) so I'm not expecting the treatment beautiful people receive, but as someone who was brought up in a very traditional Jamaican household, then going right into the military right after high-school and been wearing the US Army uniform for a quarter century, I'm preconditioned to treat everyone with respect/common courtesy based on rank, position of authority, circumstances.
More and more I've experienced situations where I get the impression that my very simple presence seems to offend or upset people, even when I ALWAYS approach a customer service rep, no matter at the airport (quite often) or a rental car kiosk, target/Walmart and even the younger generation of Service Members, etc. with a basic greeting before engaging in the subject of matter. And I'm the senior guy in most interactions at this point in life.

Am I wrong in becoming increasingly frustrated and sometimes want to default to my younger days and expressing my discontent verbally or physically when dealing with rudeness from humans....?

[2000cs]

I hope it has nothing to do with your appearance; and it seems quite common these days to me as well. Like good usage and grammar, clear speech, and basic manners, these once basic polite niceties seem to be a thing of the past. Put complete sentences and cursive writing in the mix and you’re right, we’ll have to go to the “You Know You’re Old” thread.

[tranquility]

It seems generally ppl are getting ruder, esp outta nowhere. I guess unhappy ppl have an ax to grind and social media makes it worse as any coward can mouth off at another w/o fear of any blowback.

[M_Six]

I feel like there's too much false courtesy, for lack of a better term. Like when a waitperson or cashier asks how your day is going and you say fine, then ask them the same. "I'm doing fine and thank you so much for asking."

In reality, neither party cares a bit. It's just a game we play.

But while we're on the subject..."Have a nice rest of your day."

Where did that come from? Whatever happen to just "Have a nice day." Do we need to bring the T-Shirts back?

Ok, I'll crawl back to the "You know you're old" thread now.

[Samurai of 2day]

Thanks for the replies. I travel a lot for work, so I'm dealing with strangers from a variety of demographics.
I've become less tolerant of the rudeness, but also less expressive of my frustration, so I guess I'm just venting since I'm keeping it internal recently.

But I'm also the type who will literally walk out of an establishment if I don't like the attitude... just can't do that at airports where I've spent the last 3 days, lol.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

Thanks for the replies. I travel a lot for work, so I'm dealing with strangers from a variety of demographics.
I've become less tolerant of the rudeness, but also less expressive of my frustration, so I guess I'm just venting since I'm keeping it internal recently.

But I'm also the type who will literally walk out of an establishment if I don't like the attitude... just can't do that at airports where I've spent the last 3 days, lol.

I'm not making excuses for rudeness, but the airlines are so screwed up these days and the poor front line staff are the ones taking the heat. Although that doesn't excuse the food vendors or the staff in the shops. I ran across some rudeness from both on our last trip.

BTW, I'd be ready to shoot myself if I had to spend more than a few hours in an airport. 3 days!!!??? Yikes.

[RickFLM4]

It’s not you. It’s a function of people interacting with other people through their phone and not having basic social skills to handle face to face interaction. Probably only going to get worse.

[ezaircon4jc]

When I was working, I would say "good day" to every aircraft, GA or air carrier, when I shipped them to the next frequency. I've listened to a fair amount of controller/pilot YouTube's and there's a dearth of courtesy. My first instructor told me to always talk with a smile in your voice. I took that to heart and had a great career with very cooperative pilots.

Courtesy went the way of the Dodo with "social" media with its keyboard warriors.

[Samurai of 2day]

Originally Posted by M_Six

I'm not making excuses for rudeness, but the airlines are so screwed up these days and the poor front line staff are the ones taking the heat. Although that doesn't excuse the food vendors or the staff in the shops. I ran across some rudeness from both on our last trip.

BTW, I'd be ready to shoot myself if I had to spend more than a few hours in an airport. 3 days!!!??? Yikes.

You're absolutely right. The "face" (front desk workers and customer service reps) of the massive, faceless corporations behind the airlines and the like, take a lot of abuse from dissatisfied or entitled customers.
So I would imagine that when they are approached with a "good morning" or " hello" or "how's it going " before engaging in the official interaction would spur some sort of basic human courtesy instead of inciting annoyance from doing the very job they CHOSE to do.

[tranquility]

Yup, it's like what they taught greeters at Disney, the staff may have heard a same question asked 500 times but the customer only asked it once so they should not have any attitude.

[Samurai of 2day]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

It’s not you. It’s a function of people interacting with other people through their phone and not having basic social skills to handle face to face interaction. Probably only going to get worse.

I appreciate that. I can admit that there are times where I take offense when I extend a common courtesy gesture to someone and it's not reciprocated.
I understand that it could potentially be a misinterpretation and many people would find that foolish, but it's been part of my personality from as far back as I can remember. Sometimes I deal with it better than other times.
I never forget the story of "Pi Mei" in the movie Kill Bill. (See, I am old, lol) but that story resonated with me so deeply, because I understood the internal thought process of Pi Mei. Now of course I won't go around decimating entire temples and it's occupants, but just boiling it down to what internally drives someone to address the principality of it all.

[Lady Jane]

Originally Posted by Samurai of 2day

Now I already know I'm not going to be treated nicely off the rip because of my physical appearance, (which has always been offensive to people)

I think you're very handsome, so I don't care what others have to say.

[cmyx6go]

Why would your appearance be offensive to people? You're in great shape and handsome. Are they jealous? Intimidated?

People suck. But don't let that change you. I'm always polite. Please, thank you, how are you today. I compliment people I don't know. I hold the door open for others all the time. It pisses me off when others are rude for no reason. I normally let it go with an eye roll. If it's blatant, I may say something. Some people are clueless and others are just assholes. I find that youngins are clueless. Not sure if their parents didn't teach them manners or they just don't have any socials skills because of the phones and social media. I am finding that older folks - people my age - lately are assholes too. My faith in humanity is gone.

[Alfisti]

For me it's less about rudeness and more about dopiness. So many public facing people cannot even hold down a conversation, you try to engage in some chat and they're totally taken aback and seem confused. Not to mention service people who know zero about the products they are selling, drives me insane.

[Samurai of 2day]

Originally Posted by Lady Jane

I think you're very handsome, so I don't care what others have to say.

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Why would your appearance be offensive to people? You're in great shape and handsome. Are they jealous? Intimidated?

People suck. But don't let that change you. I'm always polite. Please, thank you, how are you today. I compliment people I don't know. I hold the door open for others all the time. It pisses me off when others are rude for no reason. I normally let it go with an eye roll. If it's blatant, I may say something. Some people are clueless and others are just assholes. I find that youngins are clueless. Not sure if their parents didn't teach them manners or they just don't have any socials skills because of the phones and social media. I am finding that older folks - people my age - lately are assholes too. My faith in humanity is gone.

Thank you, ladies. I can't tell you how much I appreciate that and humbled I am to receive your compliments.
When I try to analyze what caused a weird, awkward, or dismissive initial interaction with a lot of people, I come to the conclusion that it's possible they are confused on how to converse with me because I don't fit into an obvious demographic category. Reading the statement is made by many on this thread is now opening my eyes to maybe it's that there're taken aback because I approach with a courteous greeting...?
Not sure, lol. But I can agree that a lot of younger people are buried in their phones, so basic in person people skills are declining.
Even recently, traveling with my team last week, we go out for dinner and drinks after the successful completion of our training event with a couple of 3 letter agencies personnel. Throughout the training event, naturally I maintain a professional demeanor as one of the senior ranking guys of my organization. Some of the younger guys had their attention on a female from one of the aforementioned agencies.
She showed interest in one of the guys (good kid, lots of potential) vying for her attention towards the end of the course.
Fast forward to the night of celebratory dinner and drinks, a few of us go out to a bar with a dance floor.
The kid she gravitated towards was being a bit shy but chatting her up on the edge of the dance floor. Me and one other senior guy just hung back at the bar to ensure the younger guys stay out of trouble. 5 of us from my group at this bar.
After watching the two talk at the edge of the dance floor for about 15 mins, I go up and excuse myself and ask "may I have this dance ", take her hand, pull her to the floor, dance one song, then walk her back to the kid, then under my breath tell him to "go get her, man" lol.
Proof that these kids are not experienced in the art of personal interaction, lol.
Mind you, I haven't said anything to this female agent throughout the entire course, outside of congratulating her for doing well during the self defense sparring match she did well in midway in the training.

[Samurai of 2day]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

For me it's less about rudeness and more about dopiness. So many public facing people cannot even hold down a conversation, you try to engage in some chat and they're totally taken aback and seem confused. Not to mention service people who know zero about the products they are selling, drives me insane.

Yeah! It's almost like some people are "confused" or "lost" when you demonstrate politeness or actually just engage in real time, in person conversations.
It happens so often, that I was beginning to think that it just be me... but leave it to my fellow bimmerpost members to join me in solidarity and understanding.
I'm honored to be a part of this community!!

[hubbahubba]

In anything I do, I feel it is very important to get the ball rolling in a positive way. In any interaction, whether it be face to face, an email or even a text, I start the conversation with “good morning” or “good afternoon”. It seems to set the event at ease, and make the interaction more productive. For most of my adult life I have been in construction, and management for the bulk of that. Construction guys can be a bit… difficult. From 2006-2010 I built a community in a very upscale area in North San Diego County. I had the same painting supervisor the entire time. He was a gruff old fart, and every single time he came into my office he would be hollering about this and that. From the very start, I’d let him finish his rant, and then I’d say “Larry, good morning.” Very quickly it became comical, and even though he’d still come in like a whirlwind, he’d end his rant with “Jim, good morning”. We worked together very well for the duration of the project, and I believe it was because the tone of professionalism and partnership to accomplish the task at hand was set from that very first “good morning”. Samurai of 2day stay the course, keep up what you are doing. If somebody can’t look past a rough exterior to your good heart, it’s their problem not yours.

[floridaorange]

I think the key is discerning how well or unwell the other is. If they aren’t well - you’ll be the one engratiating them even if they are supposed to be “serving” you. Welcome to 2024. I have to look for God in almost all my interactions these days because most ppl are not well, off, depressed, poorly in spirit or otherwise. Comparison to others lifestyles in a highly capitalistic society via social media had really done a number on your average service worker - it is what it is. God bless them - they don’t know what they don’t know. Customer service has sucked for 30+ yrs and is steadily declining.

[Gemini562]

Originally Posted by floridaorange

I think the key is discerning how well or unwell the other is. If they aren’t well - you’ll be the one engratiating them even if they are supposed to be “serving” you. Welcome to 2024. I have to look for God in almost all my interactions these days because most ppl are not well, off, depressed, poorly in spirit or otherwise. Comparison to others lifestyles in a highly capitalistic society via social media had really done a number on your average service worker - it is what it is. God bless them - they don’t know what they don’t know. Customer service has sucked for 30+ yrs and is steadily declining.

Honestly, it feels like the bad economy is really taking a toll on how people treat each other, especially in the service industry. It's like everyone's on edge because jobs are hard to come by, or they're just burned out from the ones they do have. I've noticed that even when you try to be polite and respectful, the response can still be cold or even rude. It's frustrating, especially when you go out of your way to be decent. But when you think about it, a lot of people are dealing with their own struggles, whether it's stress from work, financial pressure, or just being mentally and emotionally drained. It's tough, but I guess it's a sign of the times we're living in.

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by Gemini562

Honestly, it feels like the bad economy is really taking a toll on how people treat each other, especially in the service industry. It's like everyone's on edge because jobs are hard to come by, or they're just burned out from the ones they do have. I've noticed that even when you try to be polite and respectful, the response can still be cold or even rude. It's frustrating, especially when you go out of your way to be decent. But when you think about it, a lot of people are dealing with their own struggles, whether it's stress from work, financial pressure, or just being mentally and emotionally drained. It's tough, but I guess it's a sign of the times we're living in.

People have always had struggles, at least a portion of which may be attributed to personal choices for many people. This is not new.

[XutvJet]

Long answer short: No. Nothing has really changed.

I'm 50, worked all sorts of blue and white collar jobs and have two kids, 15 and 19. What has changed is us. We're getting older and when you get older, the older crowd thinks the younger generations are lazy, rude, unkept, disrespectful, etc. Been going on FOREVER.

[hubbahubba]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

People have always had struggles, at least a portion of which may be attributed to personal choices for many people. This is not new.

We do tend to dig our own holes.