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      09-25-2020, 10:16 PM   #1255
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I've been a "one-sneezer" my whole life but in the last year I've turned into a "two-sneezer" :
Same thing except change sneezer to nap.
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      09-25-2020, 10:57 PM   #1256
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I've been a "one-sneezer" my whole life but in the last year I've turned into a "two-sneezer" :
Same thing except change sneezer to nap.
That's old
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      09-26-2020, 09:00 AM   #1257
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      10-20-2020, 08:47 AM   #1258
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...when all of your conversations center around medical issues...and you're *not* a doctor!

I went to a routine cardiologist appointment last week, and there was another doctor from the practice covering for my usual doctors. The regular doctor left a note in my file suggesting that I be put on one of those "TV" side-effects, er, I mean heart medicines. When I brought up the main side effect (low blood pressure) and that I am already in a fragile balance and frequently running low, he prescribed the lowest available dose and told me to cut them in half.

Long story short, I have had a few incidents of severe dizziness and disorientation shortly after standing up since adding these pills to my regimen. Last night, I was walking towards the kitchen sink with my dirty dinner plate when it hit. I dropped the plate on the floor, grabbed the counter, and somehow managed to wall-surf to the bedroom and flop onto the bed.

From 10-15 minutes later:



Needless to say, that bottle goes into my "DNR" (do not refill) bin!

Funny related story. My employer had a nurse from a regional hospital come in last year, to do voluntary on-site medical screenings including "instant" cholesterol tests. Several of my colleagues were shocked to discover that they had high blood pressure. From visual inspection, everyone assumes that I would have the highest blood pressure of the group. Needless to say, a crowd gathered when I was being tested, because I told several people that I was going to set the BP record today...for the *lowest* BP in the entire organization. The nurse made me sign the usual medical paperwork waivers, and I made her swear in front of the crowd that she would not call an ambulance after taking my BP. The results were not a surprise...at least to me.....



.
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      10-20-2020, 11:08 AM   #1259
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.
That pen/paper icon, that's "you have a will, right?"
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      10-20-2020, 12:35 PM   #1260
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That pen/paper icon, that's "you have a will, right?"
Something like that!

That's not my record, though. I had a *manual* reading in the hospital of 38 over "OMG it's zero" before being whisked to CCU for a week. I was sooooooo loopy that I was barking out test orders (*) as if I were a doctor that day, and at one point there were 9 different IV bags (yes, three 4-hook IV stands) hanging over my bed in CCU the first night.

(*) The night before my trip to CCU, the other patient in my room had a similar unexplained BP drop. They were working on him all night, and I heard the whole thing which is why I was barking out test orders when I know zilch about doctor stuff. They finally freed a bed for him in CCU about 6:30 AM, and sadly he did not make it more than a few hours after the move. In all seriousness, he blew his heart out from many years of hookers and blow.....
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      10-20-2020, 02:28 PM   #1261
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You know you're old when you pop into a thread like this and still expect to see kids.
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      10-21-2020, 08:58 AM   #1262
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Looking at models in the cool pictures thread and instead of fantasizing....wondering what they'll look like in 15 years.
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      10-21-2020, 09:28 PM   #1263
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Looking at models in the cool pictures thread and instead of fantasizing....wondering what they'll look like in 15 years.
Amen brother.
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      10-21-2020, 10:35 PM   #1264
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When your wife asks you in the morning if you're ok because you got up so many times during the night and you don't remember getting up even once.

I hate auto-pilot mode. But it seems I slip into that more and more these days.
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      10-21-2020, 10:38 PM   #1265
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Really you sleep pee? You are old. I still only get up once or none.
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      10-22-2020, 01:05 AM   #1266
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Three old men in a retirement home were talking one morning. One of them said "you know, I'd give anything to be able to take a good long piss in the morning". The other two nodded, then the second one said "I'd give anything to be able to take a good long shit in the morning". The first one nodded, and the third one just smiled.

He said "hell guys - every morning at 7:30 I take a good long piss. And every morning at 8:30 I take a good long shit. If only I could get out of bed before 9".
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      10-22-2020, 06:57 AM   #1267
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Originally Posted by Philip_Green View Post
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.”
Get off my lawn, spambot!!!!!
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      10-22-2020, 07:10 AM   #1268
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Looking at models in the cool pictures thread and instead of fantasizing....wondering what they'll look like in 15 years.
Or if they can even spell their own name.
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      10-22-2020, 11:27 AM   #1269
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      10-23-2020, 01:21 AM   #1270
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      10-23-2020, 06:33 AM   #1271
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How many times do we have to say it...GET OFF OUR LAWNS, KID!

I've got t-shirts older than you, and not one other person in this thread counts being kicked off of their parents' cell phone plans as being old. Heck, I doubt any of us were even on our parents' cell phone plans...because cell phone plans didn't even exist!

I still get a chuckle out of the click-bait news article that pops up every few months about the most popular video game the year that you were born. When I was a kid, TV's were black & white...and we kids were the remote control!

Get off my lawn, kid!!!!!
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      10-23-2020, 11:11 AM   #1272
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Originally Posted by vreihen16 View Post
How many times do we have to say it...GET OFF OUR LAWNS, KID!

I've got t-shirts older than you, and not one other person in this thread counts being kicked off of their parents' cell phone plans as being old. Heck, I doubt any of us were even on our parents' cell phone plans...because cell phone plans didn't even exist!

I still get a chuckle out of the click-bait news article that pops up every few months about the most popular video game the year that you were born. When I was a kid, TV's were black & white...and we kids were the remote control!

Get off my lawn, kid!!!!!
Former remote control here, as well as the rotary dial turner for the antennae.
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      10-23-2020, 01:22 PM   #1273
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Quote:
Originally Posted by vreihen16 View Post
How many times do we have to say it...GET OFF OUR LAWNS, KID!

I've got t-shirts older than you, and not one other person in this thread counts being kicked off of their parents' cell phone plans as being old. Heck, I doubt any of us were even on our parents' cell phone plans...because cell phone plans didn't even exist!

I still get a chuckle out of the click-bait news article that pops up every few months about the most popular video game the year that you were born. When I was a kid, TV's were black & white...and we kids were the remote control!

Get off my lawn, kid!!!!!
Former remote control here, as well as the rotary dial turner for the antennae.
My first "gf" who was actually my babysitter, was apparently impressed by my white painters pants when I was climbing the roof to adjust the connection to the antenna so we could watch SNL together later that night

I just pulled all the weeds, get off my lawn
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      10-23-2020, 01:56 PM   #1274
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My first "gf" who was actually my babysitter, was apparently impressed by my white painters pants when I was climbing the roof to adjust the connection to the antenna so we could watch SNL together later that night

I just pulled all the weeds, get off my lawn
That's funny. My "babysitter" was sort of a girlfriend too. Great story, pretty sure it's in the dating thread. She made me a man, if that's possible at 12.

I'll get off your lawn if you'll share your weeds.....old timer.
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      10-23-2020, 02:06 PM   #1275
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I recently made koolaid for my kids and i don't recall the package being that damn hard to read the instructions.
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      10-23-2020, 04:11 PM   #1276
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I recently made koolaid for my kids and i don't recall the package being that damn hard to read the instructions.
This is why they invented cell phone cameras!!! Both light AND magnification


Wait, you can't REMEMBER how to make Koolaid???? Memory is the second thing to go

Last edited by UncleWede; 10-23-2020 at 04:26 PM..
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