Any parents of current or former college athletes?

[XutvJet]

Are there parents on this forum with current or former college athletes? If so, I'm looking for your experiences, wisdom, etc.

My 15 y/o daughter is volleyball player. She plays on one of the highest ranked club teams in the US for her age group, played varsity 6A for a major metro area as a freshman and was a starter, and has been invited to be part of the Under Armor Next Camp which is nomination/invite only. She's been requested by a few D1 programs to complete recruiting questionnaires which she has done. She's also identified about six other D1 programs she's interested in and currently researching. She is driven and very focused on playing college at this point. She will be registering with the NCAA Clearinghouse (edibility process) this month.

My wife and I are completely new to this process and learning quickly, and admittedly a bit overwhelmed. Our club is exceptional with helping in the recruiting process as most girls that play for the club go D1 or D2 if that's their goal. I am also a competitive VB player and know many local club coaches and current/former D1-NAIA VB players and they've been helpful too.

We are not helicopter, living-through-your-kid parents, and know that she needs to lead the way and be in charge of this. Our job is to help in the background with proofreading and such prior to her sending questionnaires, intro emails to college coaches, etc. and helping her understand her options, research schools, etc.

An education is priority #1 and she is a 4.0+ student. She knows she needs to find schools that have the feel and degree she wants and then evaluate the VB program. She is also aware that most athletes don't have full rides and that merit scholarships can help fill the void.

The summer of 2025 is when she can establish full contact with college coaches and we want to be comfortable with the process well in advance of that so that it is not overwhelming. With all unsubtle dad-bragging out of the way, I'm looking for any input, experiences, wisdom, etc. we can use. Thank you in advance.

[UncleWede]

IF she accepts a scholarship, they OWN her! The will dictate to her when she eats, sleeps, practices, studies, travels.

My youngest played baseball, but not under scholarship. Those that did, and other family members, told the above story.

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

IF she accepts a scholarship, they OWN her! The will dictate to her when she eats, sleeps, practices, studies, travels.

My youngest played baseball, but not under scholarship. Those that did, and other family members, told the above story.

Yep, especially if you play D1. You will not have the typical college experience of partying, dating around, and an expansive social life. Your life will be academics and sports and your friends are your teammates. It's a huge commitment.

[floridaorange]

FWIW, my sister rowed at Duke, she was known to be a hardcore rower, right up until after her 2nd yr, she’s no quitter, she quit. It was the super early morning practices that eventually weeded her out.

Having said that I couldn’t imagine my life in college without Lacrosse, best time of my life, granted not D1.

[sb959]

Congratulations! Exciting times.

I had two college athletes, both swimmers and both strong academically. One was in a D1 program and one was D3. They both chose to swim in college without any pressure from their parents and neither one received scholarship money for being on the swim team. That was actually a blessing as it meant less pressure to perform -- they could quit at any time without question. COVID interrupted their 2020-2021 academic year and my son stopped after his third year. My daughter swam all four years.

There are definitely pros and cons. It's a huge time commitment and between practices and school work there's not much time for anything else. The flipside is they have to be very disciplined and it keeps them out of trouble!

There is enormous camaraderie being on a college athletic team. The freshman kids have an instant friend group the day they start college. With luck everyone gets along because they become the focal point for the social experience as long as they're on the team. Perhaps this is irrelevant and too much of a generalization (I'm sure it varies) but we've seen that athletes tend to hang out with and date other athletes, not necessarily from the same sport. Also know that it's hard to be in a fraternity/sorority and I know some coaches discourage (or prohibit) student athletes from participating in Greek life, if that's important to your daughter.

Important to note that the head coach and other athletic staff and their coaching style are critical to your daughter's experience. Spend as much time as you are able getting comfortable that the particular program will be a good fit for her.

My advice is to focus first and foremost on choosing a school where she would be happy and achieve her educational goals. Best to know that if she quits, for whatever reason, she'll complete her degree and have a great college experience (with or without the sport).

My two cents, FWIW. Wishing you and your daughter all the best in her search.

[RickFLM4]

There is (or was) the dad of a Notre Dame football player here a while back. If you check the 2022 or 2021 (can’t remember which one) college football threads in the Sports section you should be able to find him. Sorry I can’t remember his username.

[chassis]

Originally Posted by XutvJet

Are there parents on this forum with current or former college athletes? If so, I'm looking for your experiences, wisdom, etc.

My 15 y/o daughter is volleyball player. She plays on one of the highest ranked club teams in the US for her age group, played varsity 6A for a major metro area as a freshman and was a starter, and has been invited to be part of the Under Armor Next Camp which is nomination/invite only. She's been requested by a few D1 programs to complete recruiting questionnaires which she has done. She's also identified about six other D1 programs she's interested in and currently researching. She is driven and very focused on playing college at this point. She will be registering with the NCAA Clearinghouse (edibility process) this month.

My wife and I are completely new to this process and learning quickly, and admittedly a bit overwhelmed. Our club is exceptional with helping in the recruiting process as most girls that play for the club go D1 or D2 if that's their goal. I am also a competitive VB player and know many local club coaches and current/former D1-NAIA VB players and they've been helpful too.

We are not helicopter, living-through-your-kid parents, and know that she needs to lead the way and be in charge of this. Our job is to help in the background with proofreading and such prior to her sending questionnaires, intro emails to college coaches, etc. and helping her understand her options, research schools, etc.

An education is priority #1 and she is a 4.0+ student. She knows she needs to find schools that have the feel and degree she wants and then evaluate the VB program. She is also aware that most athletes don't have full rides and that merit scholarships can help fill the void.

The summer of 2025 is when she can establish full contact with college coaches and we want to be comfortable with the process well in advance of that so that it is not overwhelming. With all unsubtle dad-bragging out of the way, I'm looking for any input, experiences, wisdom, etc. we can use. Thank you in advance.

Parent of two D3 athletes, both now graduated. Son was captain his senior year.

D1 is a full time job. It will be stressful and challenging to maintain top grades and a D1 athletic commitment. And consider whether the scenario would be acceptable, where the athlete doesn't get much or any playing time. Financial benefit would be there, at a significant cost in time, effort and stress.

D3 was great from a parent's point of view. Fun and mellow vibe with the other parents. Great athletic performance and competition from the athletes. Travel wasn't too far so we saw lots of games, both home and away.

Some financial "packaging" came with athletic participation. Enough to be appreciated, not so much to make a meaningful difference.

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by nawfoo

Just go to Nebraska

Well that is her top school and she's done camps there, but she's not 6'+ pin hitter so I think the reality is NE and TX are likely not realistic options

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by sb959

Congratulations! Exciting times.

I had two college athletes, both swimmers and both strong academically. One was in a D1 program and one was D3. They both chose to swim in college without any pressure from their parents and neither one received scholarship money for being on the swim team. That was actually a blessing as it meant less pressure to perform -- they could quit at any time without question. COVID interrupted their 2020-2021 academic year and my son stopped after his third year. My daughter swam all four years.

There are definitely pros and cons. It's a huge time commitment and between practices and school work there's not much time for anything else. The flipside is they have to be very disciplined and it keeps them out of trouble!

There is enormous camaraderie being on a college athletic team. The freshman kids have an instant friend group the day they start college. With luck everyone gets along because they become the focal point for the social experience as long as they're on the team. Perhaps this is irrelevant and too much of a generalization (I'm sure it varies) but we've seen that athletes tend to hang out with and date other athletes, not necessarily from the same sport. Also know that it's hard to be in a fraternity/sorority and I know some coaches discourage (or prohibit) student athletes from participating in Greek life, if that's important to your daughter.

Important to note that the head coach and other athletic staff and their coaching style are critical to your daughter's experience. Spend as much time as you are able getting comfortable that the particular program will be a good fit for her.

My advice is to focus first and foremost on choosing a school where she would be happy and achieve her educational goals. Best to know that if she quits, for whatever reason, she'll complete her degree and have a great college experience (with or without the sport).

My two cents, FWIW. Wishing you and your daughter all the best in her search.

Thank you all of this.

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by chassis

Parent of two D3 athletes, both now graduated. Son was captain his senior year.

D1 is a full time job. It will be stressful and challenging to maintain top grades and a D1 athletic commitment. And consider whether the scenario would be acceptable, where the athlete doesn't get much or any playing time. Financial benefit would be there, at a significant cost in time, effort and stress.

D3 was great from a parent's point of view. Fun and mellow vibe with the other parents. Great athletic performance and competition from the athletes. Travel wasn't too far so we saw lots of games, both home and away.

Some financial "packaging" came with athletic participation. Enough to be appreciated, not so much to make a meaningful difference.

Yep, D1 is full time. DII-NAIA is far more relaxed. Honestly, that would be my preference for her, but she is super competitive, works damn hard, never complains, is a super positive player, and a team leader. She has all the attributes of a D1 player and is a great student. I make it a point to her that school comes first, rest and breaks are just as important as training and practice, as is taking time to be a kid outside of sports. I do worry a bit that D1 will have a bit of a different take on my thoughts.

Her 529 is already mostly funded to pay for 4 years of state school and it still has 3.5 years to grow still so it's really not necessary that she even plays in college. However, she loves the idea of getting that money if she gets scholarships. The reality is once college is over, so is your competitive volleyball career. At that point, you just play recreationally or coach. Pro volleyball leagues are now just starting in the US, but I can't imagine the pay is much more than minor league baseball pay.

[chassis]

Couple more thoughts.

Sports for my kids was their "sorority/fraternity", it was their primary social circle.

They loved HS sports and D3 allowed them to continue.

Son was all conference and holds some school records. Pretty proud of him, and he feels good about the experience. Daughter enjoyed the experienced, played well, and was a solid part of her team.

[Bongoxxx]

D1 is definitely a full time job.

Both of my sisters played volleyball and my oldest sister went to Northeastern.

She had full ride offers from about 20 D1 schools and choose northeastern for their co-op program. Her neighbour in residence was Reggie Lewis who went on to play for the Celtics. She had a great experience and ended up with a Finance degree specializing in Accounting. Got a job with one of the big 8 accounting firms from one of her co-ops right out of school. Fast forward and she now deals with knee, elbow and shoulder injuries that come back to bite you in your older years. She had 3 knee, 1 elbow and 2 shoulder surgeries from the age of 19 -23. Now she has major stomach issues traced back to all the painkillers they gave her to keep playing while injured.

My other sister was taller, faster and a much better VB player, about 40 offers from D1s and turned them all down and stopped playing VB after high school.

My cousin went to Ohio State on a full ride for VB and she dropped out partway through 2nd year as she couldn’t “live and breathe volleyball”. Spent 4-6 hours a day in the gym.

I played volleyball as well, played on our Provincial team and National junior team. I had over 20 offers to D1 schools and had shoulder issues in my senior year of high school. Majority of the offers disappeared when they heard of my injury. Decided there was no future in playing volleyball for me and went to a school here in Canada. I still deal with knee, elbow and shoulder issues and I stopped playing after 1st year college.

Should add, I have numerous friends that played various sports that went to D1 programs. Only 1 speaks of the great time he had. 2 went on track scholarships, 1 went to Boston College for Basketball, another to Creighton for basketball, multiple to IVY schools for lacrosse and a few to schools for hockey.

[chassis]

And yet more thoughts... We were pretty involved in the HS/college sports scene for a number of years, but that was a number of years ago!

One of son's HS state championship football teammates played D1 football, and is now in the later years of a successful NFL career. I think this guy is the only D1 athlete in my son's circle of athletic friends, which included three sports for four years at the HS varsity level. Of all of those athletes, only one played D1, then pro. The funnel is pretty steep (or narrow) going from the elite HS players to D1 to pro.

This NFL player in question had multiple major reconstructive shoulder surgeries in (D1) college and again early in his NFL career. His shoulder got destroyed a few times. It's put back together now, and he is an established player.

[sb959]

Recent posts reminded me of the injuries and related complications from over-training. My daughter, in particular, had shoulder issues and has ongoing GI problems related to painkillers. Sometimes the athletes just need time to rest and recover but mid-season there’s no breaking from the regimen.

Despite the challenges, I believe that both of my kids would say that they do not regret their decision to swim at the college level. They took it as far as they could go and have a sense of accomplishment from that.

When it comes time to find a job, many recruiters and hiring managers understand the dedication and sacrifices these kids made. It reflects positively on their character and ability to work with others.

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by Bongoxxx

D1 is definitely a full time job.

Both of my sisters played volleyball and my oldest sister went to Northeastern.

She had full ride offers from about 20 D1 schools and choose northeastern for their co-op program. Her neighbour in residence was Reggie Lewis who went on to play for the Celtics. She had a great experience and ended up with a Finance degree specializing in Accounting. Got a job with one of the big 8 accounting firms from one of her co-ops right out of school. Fast forward and she now deals with knee, elbow and shoulder injuries that come back to bite you in your older years. She had 3 knee, 1 elbow and 2 shoulder surgeries from the age of 19 -23. Now she has major stomach issues traced back to all the painkillers they gave her to keep playing while injured.

My other sister was taller, faster and a much better VB player, about 40 offers from D1s and turned them all down and stopped playing VB after high school.

My cousin went to Ohio State on a full ride for VB and she dropped out partway through 2nd year as she couldn’t “live and breathe volleyball”. Spent 4-6 hours a day in the gym.

I played volleyball as well, played on our Provincial team and National junior team. I had over 20 offers to D1 schools and had shoulder issues in my senior year of high school. Majority of the offers disappeared when they heard of my injury. Decided there was no future in playing volleyball for me and went to a school here in Canada. I still deal with knee, elbow and shoulder issues and I stopped playing after 1st year college.

Should add, I have numerous friends that played various sports that went to D1 programs. Only 1 speaks of the great time he had. 2 went on track scholarships, 1 went to Boston College for Basketball, another to Creighton for basketball, multiple to IVY schools for lacrosse and a few to schools for hockey.

Thank you for this and believe me, I hear you on the injuries. I'm a competitive VB men's player and will be 50 in May. VB has been an extremely expensive sport for me and in the past 15 years alone included a ruptured Achilles tendon, two broken 5th metatarsals requiring pins in the bones (due to severe ankle sprains), a torn calf muscle, and countless ankles sprains over the last 30 years due to football, tennis, and then volleyball. I am currently dealing with a labral tear, but I'm too old to bother getting it fixed plus it's not my hitting arm. I've been managing it with my own PT.

My 15 y/o daughter in just the last year has experienced a Grade 1 ankle sprain and then a Grade 2 sprain about 5 months later. She had never had an injury like that before. Unfortunately, it's a part of VB and will happen to her as she's a very high flying outside hitter. Luckily, she does sports training that focuses significantly on agility, stretching, mobility, and injury prevention. It's not about lifting. Also, given my VB background and what I've learned over the years, I have helped her hone in on proper swinging mechanics and landing form to prevent severe shoulder and knee issues and injuries. Loading up on pain meds is not the right course of action and most programs have gotten away from that. A lot has changed in the last 10 years when it comes to VB. A lot of stuff they did in the past wasn't right from a physical mechanics standpoint.

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by sb959

Recent posts reminded me of the injuries and related complications from over-training. My daughter, in particular, had shoulder issues and has ongoing GI problems related to painkillers. Sometimes the athletes just need time to rest and recover but mid-season there’s no breaking from the regimen.

Despite the challenges, I believe that both of my kids would say that they do not regret their decision to swim at the college level. They took it as far as they could go and have a sense of accomplishment from that.

When it comes time to find a job, many recruiters and hiring managers understand the dedication and sacrifices these kids made. It reflects positively on their character and ability to work with others.

Amen. I remind my daughter of the value of rest and stretching. More is not better when it comes to training and practicing. You need breaks to rest the body, clear the mind, and have a life outside the sport.

I play VB with a number of ex-D1 thru NAIA athletes. A majority enjoyed it but do say it was a huge commitment. My daughter understands this and I fully believe she could handle it. She's wired differently than most. Extremely driven, focused, nice, positive court presence, leader, hard working, etc.

With that said, if and when she wants to hang it up, that's fine with me too. Though I really love watching her play and thrive, it's her life and is just a chapter in it.

[bucketfoot]

Not my kids, but both of my good friends sons had soccer scholarships. The older one went to a lower level Division 1 school and had nothing but good things to say.

The younger one started out at a top tier PAC 12 school and ended up hating it, leaving the team and transferring to a lower level Division 1 school where he too ended up being very happy.

I'll add that they younger one was REALLY good. Like good enough to be the the first back-up keep on the under 18 national team and travelled all over the world.

[WallySlash]

Father of two baseball boys. Oldest played D1 at University of Arkansas LR and drafted into MLB and playing for the Phillies. Youngest played D2 at private Catholic university in Illinois and hung up his cleats after four years.

Each experience totally different. D1, as has been advised above, is a full time job. D2 just shy of full time job as the travel wasn’t as demanding.

Both boys had multiple offers from D1/D2 schools. For my oldest D1 UALR offered a full ride and more playing time with a fairly good conference to be seen and ultimately get drafted. For my youngest D2 offered more playing time and a better scholarship (athletic and merit covered 90% of the cost). The youngest had no intention of baseball after college so he treated playing ball as a means to an end having as much fun/bonding with his teammates but knowing he was getting a degree for almost no out of pocket.

Making the decision was a process that included the parent research, etc however school visits and attending games was, to a larger extent, the deciding factor. Seeing how the coach operated on/off the field was helpful in the decision process. And visiting with the player parents in the stands offered insight.

As goofy as it might sound the decision as to which school will just happen.

Good luck.

[ASBSECU E93]

As a former D1 athlete, and former coach of D1 athletes - I can speak to both sides. Her ability to earn a scholarship (you’ll both want it to be FULL) is an amazing achievement, should it happen. Playing at a this level is highly competitive and she’ll get to make lasting friendships, travel, and enjoy the college experience. Adjusting to a more rigid structure will be the biggest challenge - as others have said the university now ‘owns’ you time. Competition over playing time, the structure of a collegiate program, and personality conflicts typically end a playing career at the program. I’ve often told other friends with athlete children to consider a situation where they can step in a play immediately vs playing at a power 5 program - if any of the above is a concern. From a university perspective - the coach’s livelihood is dependent on the ability to recruit quality players who perform. Sometimes - it’s not the kids fault, but rather the kid simply isn’t living up to the coaches expectations, and they’ll make it hard enough so the kid(s) quit. For context - I played on the sand tour for ~ 3 years and earned a decent living. You might want to consider a program that has both indoor and outdoor for your daughter.

[rcaso26]

I'll throw my two cents in here. I played D1 college lacrosse for 3 years. While I absolutely loved lacrosse in high school, the time commitment of D1 lacrosse ended up being too much. After I quit, I was able to go on spring break, travel abroad to Italy, focus more on my grades and just generally spent more time enjoying being a college student. Also, while I received a great education, I would have never considered the college I attended if I did not choose to play lacrosse. It's ultimately your daughter's decision on whether she wants to play in college, you should just prepare her for the amount of time and work it takes to be a D1 college athlete. If I had to do it again, I would have played D3 or not at all.

[XutvJet]

Originally Posted by rcaso26

...Also, while I received a great education, I would have never considered the college I attended if I did not choose to play lacrosse

Yeah, we've talked about and will continue to talk about the "Broken Leg" scenario, meaning you best go to a school you enjoy in the event you get hurt or quit the sport.

Luckily, women's D1 college volleyball, especially a non-Top 10 team, is not super crazy from a time commitment standpoint like some other college sports. The season is fairly short (early August to late October). The rest of the year is pretty lax in comparison per my discussions with the University of Kansas assistant head coach/recruiter who also coaches at my daughter's club.

Things are progressing very quickly now. She's completed recruiting questionnaires for her top 5 schools, sent intro letters to those coaches, and has received notice this week from a few 25 to 40 ranked D1 programs that they're coming to watch her this weekend at a national tournament. My wife and I are a bit taken back that this is already happening with her being 15. I'm very glad that we have a club director that has played college and professionally and coached in college plus me knowing a D1 assistant coach who is a straight shooter. I'd be completely lost otherwise.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by XutvJet

My wife and I are a bit taken back that this is already happening with her being 15.

Within a few weeks (it seemed) of my youngest joining the swim club (NOT HS team) and actually swimming in some competitive meet, the brochures started arriving.

Most notable that I recall (because I'm a USC alumnus) was Longhorns invitation to come swim in Texas!! He wasn't even competitive, just wanted to swim.

Very similar to those invitations for academic students to come the DC and participate in these "elite" opportunities to spend your parents' $$$$. Sounds impressive, but not really all that important.