Sign out
Bimmerpost
Login
BMW E39 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read  
Go Back   BMW E39 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      06-19-2021, 10:35 PM   #1
MsGoGoMoto
New Member
MsGoGoMoto's Avatar
United_States
193
Rep
15
Posts

 
Drives: 2017 i3+REX, 1999 K1200RS Moto
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

My 28 yr old daughter slapped a cookie out of my hand today

I get home from a nice motorcycle ride before the rain starts from the tropical depression in the Florida Panhandle. I have a lot to look forward to, nice relaxing day, maybe a beer or two, and a nice Thai food dinner! My daughter is in town visiting before moving to the West Coast for a new job as a college professor. She's celebrating with some friends. It's a cozy gathering with plenty of snacks, chilled bottle of water, some wine, and some fun desserts. My husband is smack dab in the middle of everyone with the most pleasant half grin on his face looking like king Perv.

I snatched up one of the chilled bottles of water and emptied out a orange skittles flavor pack into the bottle. As I'm shaking the bottle and watching the color change from watercolor to orange, I noticed a plate of cookies neatly sitting on a plate all by themselves not being touched by anyone. Those cookies were fat and looked awesome. I was more thirsty and hungry at the moment so I paid them no more attention.

I said hello to everyone before heading off to the master bedroom to wash my ass. Today, I did the one thing that I said I would never do and rode my K1200RS BMW motorcycle without wearing a jacket. I actually had on a cat suit and was totally being a straight looker hooker on the bike. I'm 50, but can still work it.

I get out of the shower and dry off, my heart's pounding out of my chest from sweating because I never changed the water heater setting from winter. Probably gonna end up having a stroke if I don't lower the delivery temperature.

I put on my casual sweats and headed out to be social with the millennials
I drifted by the plate of cookies and grabbed two, parked myself neatly next to my husband, who kind of smells like a sack full of farts now. He's been very quiet and observant. Too quiet. Suspiciously quiet….Drinking waaaay too much water quiet.

I chomp on one of the fat ass cookies… pretty good. Some noticed and giggled, gave me some funny hand gesture while a funny robot voiced auto tuned R&B singer with extremely poor word pronunciation babbled on the mic like a drunken black curly stooge.

3 mins later, I polish off one cookie., it's about the size of a mixed nuts can lid (you know).
I was listening to one of the Millennials tell us about how she found her cat abandoned at her job and how it was 7 years ago..

I go in for the second cookie chomp..
My peripheral catches a Roku remote tumbling in the air, just as I have the cookie up to my mouth, my daughter is right there with her hand going across my face, knocking the cookie in half and landed on her friend's lap.

My daughter: " this isn't lays tater chips, you're only supposed to eat one!"
Me: "Feck's going on? Nobody wants the goddamn things because they're so many on the plate, Feck you hit me for??

Millennial Friends: "TELL HER". .with their hands outstretched, with palms facing up and pointed at me……
…..
………
……….
……………..Me: "y'all talking to me? What y'all got to tell me? Can I at least get some of those wings and those crunchy Thai spring rolls and that dipping sauce.."….


Yeah, I'm still stoned right now. This was hard to write!
Appreciate 14
packet184.50
stein_325i14771.50
TiMSport5971.50
Dpc2u5513.00
Dang3r6238.50
Tommy-G1122.00
King Rudi11123.00
wdb2815.50
      06-19-2021, 11:00 PM   #2
TiMSport
Lieutenant Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
5972
Rep
1,652
Posts

 
Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

LOL @ "king Perv". Yeah, no wonder you wanna eat those cookies!
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 08:14 AM   #3
packet
Second Lieutenant
United_States
185
Rep
232
Posts

 
Drives: 2019 540i M Sport something
Join Date: Sep 2020
Location: FL

iTrader: (0)

Best stories ever
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 03:56 PM   #4
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
5764
Rep
2,102
Posts

 
Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Wait, so you were stoned and had the munchies?
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
1997 Toyota T100
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 04:18 PM   #5
TiMSport
Lieutenant Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
5972
Rep
1,652
Posts

 
Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
Wait, so you were stoned and had the munchies?
Yeah it seems an important chapter of this story has been left out.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 05:11 PM   #6
fiveohwblow
Major
fiveohwblow's Avatar
United_States
2127
Rep
1,047
Posts

 
Drives: E70, E46 M3, F82
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Desert SW

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiMSport View Post
Yeah it seems an important chapter of this story has been left out.
Believe it was the cookies, that were being left untouched, but the knowing group of 20 somethings. I picked up what she was putting down.
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 05:13 PM   #7
LemansE90335xi
Captain
LemansE90335xi's Avatar
Canada
4637
Rep
775
Posts

 
Drives: 335xi E90, GMC Sierra, VW Golf
Join Date: Jun 2020
Location: Nova Scotia

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by fiveohwblow View Post
Believe it was the cookies, that were being left untouched, but the knowing group of 20 somethings. I picked up what she was putting down.
You were bagging what she was mowing.
__________________
Wha' da ya mean? No brakes never stopped anyone before!
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 05:18 PM   #8
fiveohwblow
Major
fiveohwblow's Avatar
United_States
2127
Rep
1,047
Posts

 
Drives: E70, E46 M3, F82
Join Date: May 2016
Location: Desert SW

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by LemansE90335xi View Post
You were bagging what she was mowing.
I was certainly puffing what she was passing
Appreciate 4
TiMSport5971.50
wdb2815.50
      06-20-2021, 05:28 PM   #9
lsturbointeg
Lieutenant General
lsturbointeg's Avatar
United_States
8229
Rep
14,418
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 535i Jet Black
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Asian lost in OH

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto View Post
I actually had on a cat suit and was totally being a straight looker hooker on the bike. I'm 50, but can still work it.
ummmmm...we need pictures please

__________________
~F90Conversion~21"3Piece Forged AvantGardeWheels~KWV1Coilovers~CQUENCE slotted/drilled rotors~GoodridgeStainlesslines~MeisterschaftQuadEx haust~Akrapovic 4"tips~VRSF DP~VRSF CP~TurboSmart BOV~K&N filter~CarbonFiberExteriorComponents~GladenAlphaCo mponents~MatchUp7BMW~Punch P300-12T~
Follow me on Instagram: lsturbointeg
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 06:14 PM   #10
6oclockshadow
Private First Class
6oclockshadow's Avatar
United_States
181
Rep
124
Posts

 
Drives: 2021 BMW M340i
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: Boston

iTrader: (0)

Eddies are *NOT* for newbies. Careful hotstuff!!!
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 06:20 PM   #11
kscarrol
Brigadier General
kscarrol's Avatar
United_States
4901
Rep
3,706
Posts

 
Drives: 2021 X3 M40i, 1974 2002 Tii
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: New Orleans, LA

iTrader: (0)

OP must still be trippin'...
__________________
2021 X3 M40i
1974 2002tii, Inka, 5 sp manual
BMWCCA # 327475
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 06:27 PM   #12
leopard print
Second Lieutenant
352
Rep
233
Posts

 
Drives: Really well for an Asian.
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Los Angeles, CA

iTrader: (4)

Please tell me these stories are going to be a daily thing.
Appreciate 4
Tommy-G1122.00
wdb2815.50
      06-20-2021, 06:51 PM   #13
TiMSport
Lieutenant Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
5972
Rep
1,652
Posts

 
Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by LemansE90335xi View Post
You were bagging what she was mowing.
Lol. I cracked up imagining the hubby with a grin on his face sitting in the middle of the female 20-somethings aka "king Perv".
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 2
      06-20-2021, 06:57 PM   #14
lexamckenzie
New Member
12
Rep
19
Posts

 
Drives: Gray Honda Civiv Hatchback
Join Date: Mar 2017
Location: Florida

iTrader: (0)

And is how she greets you a Happy Father's Day.
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 07:10 PM   #15
MsGoGoMoto
New Member
MsGoGoMoto's Avatar
United_States
193
Rep
15
Posts

 
Drives: 2017 i3+REX, 1999 K1200RS Moto
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kscarrol View Post
OP must still be trippin'...
Quote:
Originally Posted by kscarrol View Post
OP must still be trippin'...
I'm coming down off a low background buzz at the moment. Sort of a mini hangover type thing.. it's been 21 years since I had THC. At one point, I felt like a was going panic out of nervousness. Just felt like I was going to die or something. Calmed down after a hopping on YouTube watching i3 accessories vids.

I tell you what… at this age, I will save the remaining busted cookie for thanksgiving or the holidays…
In the freezer it goes. I can't do this regularly… it's too intense.

Iove you guys! Happy Father's Day!
Appreciate 5
kscarrol4900.50
Dang3r6238.50
nyalpine906583.00
      06-20-2021, 08:39 PM   #16
Skoidat69
Secret Squirrel
Skoidat69's Avatar
United_States
171
Rep
262
Posts

 
Drives: 2007 BMW 328ix E91
Join Date: Oct 2019
Location: StL

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
2007 BMW 328XI  [0.00]
My wife wasn't a juvenile delinquent like me and accidentally consumed too large a piece of Chocolate edible before an important zoom class for her PhD on some serious shit.. I almost bit a hole in my lip to keep from laughing.. She's getting more for our family vacation to visit my family.. My Dad had to talk my little borther's best friends Mom down after she ate their stash of "chocolate chip" cookies when they were in HS...
__________________
No good sea story starts with Cookies and Milk
Appreciate 1
      06-20-2021, 08:41 PM   #17
MsGoGoMoto
New Member
MsGoGoMoto's Avatar
United_States
193
Rep
15
Posts

 
Drives: 2017 i3+REX, 1999 K1200RS Moto
Join Date: Jun 2021
Location: Atlanta, GA

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skoidat69 View Post
My wife wasn't a juvenile delinquent like me and accidentally consumed too large a piece of Chocolate edible before an important zoom class for her PhD on some serious shit.. I almost bit a hole in my lip to keep from laughing.. She's getting more for our family vacation to visit my family.. My Dad had to talk my little borther's best friends Mom down after she ate their stash of "chocolate chip" cookies when they were in HS...
Looooool
Appreciate 0
      06-20-2021, 09:39 PM   #18
DocL
Lieutenant
DocL's Avatar
United_States
709
Rep
463
Posts

 
Drives: 2018 M3
Join Date: Jan 2019
Location: S Fla

iTrader: (1)

Great story. Reminds me about my parents a few years ago when they were in Portland. My mother calls me and says she and my father want to try some pot from a local dispensary. I told her to tell them that she didn't want to get too high, but just a little buzz and they would give her the right stuff. She and my father bought a few joints of a hybrid and smoked it in their hotel room. They both said it was good to try, but they weren't going to become pot heads anytime soon.
__________________
2018 F80 M3. YMB/BLK. ZCP. Three Pedals.
"Education will never be as expensive as ignorance."
Appreciate 0
      06-20-2021, 09:43 PM   #19
TiMSport
Lieutenant Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
5972
Rep
1,652
Posts

 
Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Shit it'll never be legal here in Georgia.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 1
      06-21-2021, 05:16 AM   #20
Littlebear
Janitor
Littlebear's Avatar
United_States
2425
Rep
1,539
Posts

 
Drives: 2017 330i
Join Date: Oct 2017
Location: Brklyn. Got a problem wit dat?

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by TiMSport View Post
Shit it'll never be legal here in Georgia.
Reason to move!

Unfortunately, edibles do nothing for me. I did a 'chocolate' binge recently, and it was a complete waste of $$.
__________________
"The Indian smiles, he thinks that the cowboy is his friend. The cowboy smiles, he is glad the Indian is fooled. Now he can exploit him" Gof4
"Redwoods talk to me. Say it plainly The human name Doesn't mean shit to a tree" J.A.
"Are we not pins? We are DEVO" Devo
Appreciate 0
      06-21-2021, 08:56 AM   #21
TiMSport
Lieutenant Colonel
TiMSport's Avatar
United_States
5972
Rep
1,652
Posts

 
Drives: '21 M340i xDrive, '17 Audi S3
Join Date: Feb 2021
Location: ATL

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlebear View Post
Reason to move!

Unfortunately, edibles do nothing for me. I did a 'chocolate' binge recently, and it was a complete waste of $$.
Lol, I know.

Strange that edibles don't do anything for you. I guess that's actually a thing and experts can't explain this phenomenon. That's unfortunate because I hate smoking and that would suck if it didn't do what its supposed to do. Lol.
__________________
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
" The key to confidence and success in life is to simply not give a f*** ".
Appreciate 0
      06-21-2021, 11:09 AM   #22
Esteban
Dad Cat
Esteban's Avatar
United_States
6755
Rep
7,041
Posts

 
Drives: A Bucket of Bolts
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: The Golden State

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Littlebear View Post
Reason to move!

Unfortunately, edibles do nothing for me. I did a 'chocolate' binge recently, and it was a complete waste of $$.
When we were young I used to always try to get my sister high so she could see (and feel) why I liked it so much. She didn't usually smoke but would for me when I asked her, but she never felt anything which I always thought was a bummer.

One time, when I was first married, we had a party and my sister was there. I gave her a brownie from a batch that I just made. It was laced with marijuana. She knew it was and wanted to try it. I didn't really think anything would happen but after a while I couldn't find her so I went looking for her. She had hid in my room and wouldn't come out because she was so high.

Smoking didn't affect her but eating it did, in a big way. And it was just one brownie. Strange how it affects people differently. I always got high when I smoked but got even higher when I ate it. I don't do any of that anymore and just drink a little wine. Marijuana makes me self conscious and paranoid in my older age, so no more for me.
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:43 AM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST