Best/close friends with the opposite sex?

[F30lolz]

This is mainly geared towards people who are in a relationship and either they or their SO have a best/close friend of the opposite sex.

Quick story, I used to have a very close friend named Tina who went out of her way to hook me up with her female friends (crazy Long Island nights) and we would go out maybe twice a week. She was engaged to an older man at the time (we were in our mid 20's and he was in his late 30's and never had a problem with me). Friend-zone, however, I never saw her that way, more like a sister. This went on for a few years until I met the woman who turned out to be my wife. Since then, we only chat here and there on FB. She (wife) was never fond of Tina and I guess I can understand her thinking. She never trusted Tina around me for some reason even though we never had feelings like that towards each other.

So ladies, if your man had a close female friend and they hung out, spoke often, does that make you feel insecure? Trust issues?

Guys, I cannot think you would let your woman hang out with some dude, friend or not.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

This is mainly geared towards people who are in a relationship and either they or their SO have a best/close friend of the opposite sex.

Quick story, I used to have a very close friend named Tina who went out of her way to hook me up with her female friends (crazy Long Island nights) and we would go out maybe twice a week. She was engaged to an older man at the time (we were in our mid 20's and he was in his late 30's and never had a problem with me). Friend-zone, however, I never saw her that way, more like a sister. This went on for a few years until I met the woman who turned out to be my wife. Since then, we only chat here and there on FB. She (wife) was never fond of Tina and I guess I can understand her thinking. She never trusted Tina around me for some reason even though we never had feelings like that towards each other.

So ladies, if your man had a close female friend and they hung out, spoke often, does that make you feel insecure? Trust issues?

Guys, I cannot think you would let your woman hang out with some dude, friend or not.

You are right, normally I wouldn't. But if he was gay, as in your situation above (obviously), I would make an exception.

[Blksnowflake]

Very sensitive issue. Three things affect this: insecurity, trust, bad history of related event.
If any one of you have any of the issues stated you can forget about it. The beehotch who is now my ex, I would never trust to have male friends because she was a slut....so there's two of the issues.
I happen to have a female who's just about my best friend, known her for over 10 years, never saw her while I was with my now ex, she didn't "trust" my lesbian friend lol....but the issue their was insecurity, because I never gave her a reason to lose trust nor have I had a related past history with this.

As a black and white, yes/no question I would always lean toward "no". However in a case by case basis where the requirements are met and if my girlfriend/future wife came with this baggage and I chose to accept her like this then I see no reason to object until I see a reason to object.

[M3 Number 86]

I used to go bat shit crazy on my gf's male friends but wondered why it wasn't ok for me to have my home girls. I realized the problem was me. HA.

Now I could give a shit less who my wife's friends are male or female.

There are two types of guys when in the club with their girl:
a) try to fight every damn dude that looks at his girl
b) be proud of his girl and that everyone is staring at her

Answer B is the way to go. Until your girl fucks up.

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Guys, I cannot think you would let your woman hang out with some dude, friend or not.

I have major jealousy issues, but when I calm down, I have no problem with the girl I'm with having guy friends. It's a matter of trust and if I'm not going to trust the person I'm with, then why be with them.

Unless proven otherwise, the issue is with me to deal with.

[F30lolz]

Guys, never let your wife out of your site after an argument because if said male friend is waiting in the wings to listen to her, well you know:

Girl: Oh I cannot stand it when he does this
Man Friend: I told you this would happen
Girl: Why can't he be like you
Man Friend:

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Guys, never let your wife out of your site after an argument because if said male friend is waiting in the wings to listen to her, well you know:

Girl: Oh I cannot stand it when he does this
Man Friend: I told you this would happen
Girl: Why can't he be like you
Man Friend:

I read this and thought...you chose poorly.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

Guys, never let your wife out of your site after an argument because if said male friend is waiting in the wings to listen to her, well you know:

Girl: Oh I cannot stand it when he does this
Man Friend: I told you this would happen
Girl: Why can't he be like you
Man Friend:

LOL. I am usually the man friend. Oh how I love being single.


Most women are insecure anyway, whether they wish to admit it or not. They tell you it's okay to have female friends, yeah fucking right.

[V1.47fan]

Originally Posted by C5driver

I have major jealousy issues,

Hahahahaha

[F30lolz]

I think everyone gets jealous/insecure at some point. We're human, unlike 1MOREMOD. When I met my wife she was a manager at a Best Buy and she got jealous and held up a girl against a wall (she wasn't fired haha) all because she was talking to me while I was waiting for her shift to end. She is a nut job but has dealt with me for almost 12 years so I must be doing something right.

[Sidewinderpb]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

You are right, normally I wouldn't. But if he was gay, as in your situation above (obviously), I would make an exception.

See, now I'm not sure if I would make that an exception. A gay best friend can just keep reminding her what a piece of shit you are and introduce her to other guys.

That being said, I had a close friend who was a girl. Then I started dating my current girlfriend, who entered our circle of friends. They were not fond of each other. I was no longer fond of that group of friends. Fuck em'! Gotta decide which is more important. And no, I would not be cool with her hanging out with other guys. Had to knock some ass hat out cold a few years ago.

[M3 Number 86]

There's a lot of issues going on in here.

Bottom line - get your bitch in check! and none of this happens.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by MRS. M3 Number 86

There's a lot of issues going on in here.

Bottom line - get your bitch in check! and none of this happens.

FTFY - correct attribution of quote....

[Axius]

Be friends with who you want, but set clear boundaries. If you know the "friend" is sketch, you say I don't want you hanging out with them anymore. It's all give and take. If you're smart enough you can tell who wants what, and remove them from the situation.

I personally don't care, I've never been the jealous type, because I know who I'm with is mine at the end of the day. Make the mistake and be someone elses, so be it, but this is where I bail.

[UncleWede]

The first wife had some male friends from work. I was cool with it. She wanted to club with her cousins, I was cool with it. She came home pregnant with somebody else's baby, we got divorced.

Second wife is potentially jealous. She knows I work almost exclusively with women. Not my choice, it's just the nature of the business. IF I am going to lunch with anyone in the office, I call the wife and let her know. I take a huge ration of shit at work for this. I have nothing to hide, so I just tell my wife.

I personally don't care where my wife goes, or who she goes with. What gets me into a screaming mania is when she doesn't say something, then hours go by and she doesn't answer her phone. Yes, I've tracked her phone, and she was right where she says after the fact. JUST FUCKING CALL ME AND TELL ME!!!!!!!!

[M3 Number 86]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

The first wife had some male friends from work. I was cool with it. She wanted to club with her cousins, I was cool with it. She came home pregnant with somebody else's baby, we got divorced.

Second wife is potentially jealous. She knows I work almost exclusively with women. Not my choice, it's just the nature of the business. IF I am going to lunch with anyone in the office, I call the wife and let her know. I take a huge ration of shit at work for this. I have nothing to hide, so I just tell my wife.

I personally don't care where my wife goes, or who she goes with. What gets me into a screaming mania is when she doesn't say something, then hours go by and she doesn't answer her phone. Yes, I've tracked her phone, and she was right where she says after the fact. JUST FUCKING CALL ME AND TELL ME!!!!!!!!

seems like a cool job

[F30lolz]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

The first wife had some male friends from work. I was cool with it. She wanted to club with her cousins, I was cool with it. She came home pregnant with somebody else's baby, we got divorced.

Second wife is potentially jealous. She knows I work almost exclusively with women. Not my choice, it's just the nature of the business. IF I am going to lunch with anyone in the office, I call the wife and let her know. I take a huge ration of shit at work for this. I have nothing to hide, so I just tell my wife.

I personally don't care where my wife goes, or who she goes with. What gets me into a screaming mania is when she doesn't say something, then hours go by and she doesn't answer her phone. Yes, I've tracked her phone, and she was right where she says after the fact. JUST FUCKING CALL ME AND TELL ME!!!!!!!!

This post angered me. Glad you've moved on.

[longress]

If your spouse is your best friend not an issue. If they need to look to the opposite sex to find that kind of a connection I can see how that would cause issues with the most couples.

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by F30lolz

This post angered me. Glad you've moved on.

One door closed, several more opened. Ex and I aren't enemies, and the guy is still her husband since 92

[kprocivic]

My best friend was an old fuck buddy. we used to hump all the time then we grew up, and became super close. my lady boo bear almost wifey I'm with now, hates that woman on a molecular level only cause we use to hump. we no longer are best friends, friends, nothing, and that kinda sucks. We both understand why, and I don't blame by honey dumpling for hating.

[C5driver]

Originally Posted by kprocivic

blah blah blah lady boo bear blah blah blah honey dumpling

[kprocivic]

Originally Posted by C5driver

hehe, can't deny my little chiclet.