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      07-31-2019, 12:00 PM   #4423
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Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!
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      07-31-2019, 12:22 PM   #4424
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!
In situations like this someone will get hurt, it cant be avoided.
Honesty is best policy, cut ties with brazilian and follow the spark.
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      07-31-2019, 12:23 PM   #4425
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!
Sir, you already know what to do. Now on to the difficult part, putting it in motion. We already share a brain so I feel like no explanation is required here.

After careful consideration....I shall revise my response. Introduce the two of them....again, I feel further elaboration is not needed.

Last edited by King Rudi; 07-31-2019 at 12:36 PM..
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      07-31-2019, 12:24 PM   #4426
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!
I don't know. Depends on what you mean by not the spark you're looking for. No spark, or not enough spark? If there is no spark, you have your answer. Is she boring and you have nothing in common but she has a hot bod? Or is she just not as exciting bikini model?

Sometimes SPARKS and fireworks are crazy bastards and you get burnt.
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      07-31-2019, 12:28 PM   #4427
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!

I'll share something my performance coach told me when I asked him whether I should go into industry (which I was curious about) or just go out on my own (which is where I thought I'd end up).

He said, why would you go from point A, to point B, to point C, if you ultimately want to end up at C and you don't have to travel to point B to get to point C.

Framed to your question - why waste time on Brazilian if you are ultimately most interested in the former flame and will likely land there because the Brazilian isn't causing that spark?

You are risking that she'll get into a relationship with someone else if you wait.

Guess depends a little on the spark though - is it just short term lust or is there something deep you could easily see there.


Edit: If it helps at all, I totally ignored my performance coach and went into industry and sure enough, wound up resigning and working for myself. I learned. LOL
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      07-31-2019, 12:40 PM   #4428
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer View Post
Here is my situation. Been dating a Brazilian girl...former model. Very nice, 5-10 with all the parts in the right place and right ratios. We have a great time out and I am enjoying spending time with her. I've been to her place in Houston and she's been to mine here in South Louisiana. She's met my 2 best friends and my brother and inadvertently met my dad while we were on the way to watch the German GP at the casino.

Everything is good but not the spark I'm looking for.

A while back I was dating someone whom I'll just call, the Bikini Model. We broke up because her daughter couldn't handle her dating someone that wasn't in their race. I told her to handle it and reach out to me when she did. Well...she handled it. She reached out to me about 2 weeks ago and brought me up to speed. I put her off for about 10 or 12 days and met her for a quick drink.

SPARKS. Fireworks!!

What shall I do?!?!
of daughter

Seriously though, can you confirm daughter is ok with this? Have you met BM's extended family? Is that an uphill battle that you want to take on at this point in life? Ask the head on your shoulders
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      07-31-2019, 01:13 PM   #4429
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
I'll share something my performance coach told me when I asked him whether I should go into industry (which I was curious about) or just go out on my own (which is where I thought I'd end up).

He said, why would you go from point A, to point B, to point C, if you ultimately want to end up at C and you don't have to travel to point B to get to point C.

Framed to your question - why waste time on Brazilian if you are ultimately most interested in the former flame and will likely land there because the Brazilian isn't causing that spark?

You are risking that she'll get into a relationship with someone else if you wait.

Guess depends a little on the spark though - is it just short term lust or is there something deep you could easily see there.


Edit: If it helps at all, I totally ignored my performance coach and went into industry and sure enough, wound up resigning and working for myself. I learned. LOL

+1. What kind of spark depending on where you want it to head. Plus the daughter won't always be in the house and she can learn to change if she see her Mom happy.

Life is just to short to settle and be content....and then be left with wondering "what if"?

I can relate. Not trying to sound boastful....but I have dated quite a few "10's" in my time. All it did was confirm to me that looks really aren't everything although I did all I could to disprove that theory!
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      07-31-2019, 02:13 PM   #4430
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyalpine90 View Post
In situations like this someone will get hurt, it cant be avoided.
Honesty is best policy, cut ties with brazilian and follow the spark.
I know. I have been struggling with this.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Sir, you already know what to do. Now on to the difficult part, putting it in motion. We already share a brain so I feel like no explanation is required here.

After careful consideration....I shall revise my response. Introduce the two of them....again, I feel further elaboration is not needed.
See above. On the edit: Don't think it didn't cross my mind!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by cmyx6go View Post
I don't know. Depends on what you mean by not the spark you're looking for. No spark, or not enough spark? If there is no spark, you have your answer. Is she boring and you have nothing in common but she has a hot bod? Or is she just not as exciting bikini model?

Sometimes SPARKS and fireworks are crazy bastards and you get burnt.
The Brazilian isn't as sophisticated as I'm accustomed to which has been a learning experience for me. For instance...cuff links. We were behind schedule for dinner and I grabbed mine and we jumped into the car. I asked her to assist me while I was driving and she looked at me completely lost. No one in her family or anyone she's dated or been married to ever wore cuff links. I taught her how to use them and she was all smiles after that. It was cute.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joekerr View Post
I'll share something my performance coach told me when I asked him whether I should go into industry (which I was curious about) or just go out on my own (which is where I thought I'd end up).

He said, why would you go from point A, to point B, to point C, if you ultimately want to end up at C and you don't have to travel to point B to get to point C.

Framed to your question - why waste time on Brazilian if you are ultimately most interested in the former flame and will likely land there because the Brazilian isn't causing that spark?

You are risking that she'll get into a relationship with someone else if you wait.

Guess depends a little on the spark though - is it just short term lust or is there something deep you could easily see there.


Edit: If it helps at all, I totally ignored my performance coach and went into industry and sure enough, wound up resigning and working for myself. I learned. LOL
Jeeze...you're scaring the F out of me because that is nearly the same advice my dad gave me when I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to do in life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
of daughter

Seriously though, can you confirm daughter is ok with this? Have you met BM's extended family? Is that an uphill battle that you want to take on at this point in life? Ask the head on your shoulders
I have met a close friend and the daughters know about me. We are at 2 months which I consider fish or cut bait time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
+1. What kind of spark depending on where you want it to head. Plus the daughter won't always be in the house and she can learn to change if she see her Mom happy.

Life is just to short to settle and be content....and then be left with wondering "what if"?

I can relate. Not trying to sound boastful....but I have dated quite a few "10's" in my time. All it did was confirm to me that looks really aren't everything although I did all I could to disprove that theory!
I'm looking for permanence. Dating sucks.
The daughter is out of the house and has her own pad. This is why she reached out to me. Ironically, I was with my atty about a week before she reached out and he asked about her because we all attended the 4th of July celebration in 2018 together. He said that it was the happiest he's ever seen me as had my car buddies also shared. I think I'm getting closer to my answer.

On dating...go big or go home. Always 9s and 10s keeping in mind that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I can be childishly sophomoric on this. I have always been attracted to beautiful women that many would consider unobtainable but I have always done well. Nothing a rakish smile and a devil-may-care attitude can't accomplish!

Thanks for the input. Even you UncleWede
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      08-01-2019, 01:46 AM   #4431
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Originally Posted by Kelse92 View Post
Lol you’re definitely outside the norm that I’m used to! But maybe it’s a product of my living in the south?? I feel like the culture is much different here than if I were to live in NYC, Chicago, or LA
And I agree the hobby thing can go either way. It can go fantastic where it something you enjoy doing together, and it can also go very sideways and result in resentment as well. Fine line to walk on there.
Im the more outta your norm because I live overseas in Germany, here most habits are differing from your traditional known ways
Hobbies could be shared if present at both partners but its also be good to have some space left for own belongings and needs. I couldn't stand it to got drowned with love and care.
Last year during my 3 week holiday at the west coast I got lots of opportunities to talk to private people by using Air BnB, best livetime experience so far, met them in their own environment and they feel comfortable and free to talk their personal way. That was a new approach aside of the sometimes encountered superficial chats.
But it had never led to closer friendships, I think that was way too keen for both nations
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      08-02-2019, 03:15 PM   #4432
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Originally Posted by Kelse92 View Post
It might hurt for a bit, but I bet with a little time she’ll reach back out, cause it’s not that she’s not thinking about you, she just needs to do it on her own terms.
very helpful insight, thank you.
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      08-02-2019, 05:42 PM   #4433
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Last time I dated was 1966. That was OK. Dumped her when she got to serious. One before that..I dated once..she didn't care for me. One date and that was that. Good thing she was about a 5 out of 10.

One before that I dated 3 years. She dumped me..never forgot her. We are on speaking terms now..long distance.

Wound up marrying the last one...seven months after our first date. Still married to her.
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      08-05-2019, 07:19 AM   #4434
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Last time I dated was 1966. That was OK. Dumped her when she got to serious. One before that..I dated once..she didn't care for me. One date and that was that. Good thing she was about a 5 out of 10.

One before that I dated 3 years. She dumped me..never forgot her. We are on speaking terms now..long distance.

Wound up marrying the last one...seven months after our first date. Still married to her.
So you married the one you dated in 1966 that was "ok?"

The dating was just "ok" but you've been married for 53 years? My hat's off to both of you. It takes a lot to keep a marriage going; especially for that long.
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      08-06-2019, 01:47 PM   #4435
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LOL this thread is further reassurance of why I will never set foot in an altar.
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      08-06-2019, 02:36 PM   #4436
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LOL this thread is further reassurance of why I will never set foot in an altar.
Lords work has been done in these 200+ pages. I feel like this thread should be required reading for all males 18-30......and for the women who truly want to understand the male perspective on dating, women and life in general.
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      08-07-2019, 01:51 AM   #4437
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Lords work has been done in these 200+ pages.
Don't blame it onto a fantasy figure when real mishaps and mistakes are got taken, my friend.
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      08-08-2019, 02:26 PM   #4438
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Got back into online dating after a few months hiatus. Didn’t take long for me to remember how much of a negative impact this shit has on my self esteem and quality of life in general. I have a date lined up tomorrow but after that I am strongly considering pulling myself out of the dating game entirely. I am much happier alone than when I’m chasing after shitty women with over inflated egos.
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      08-08-2019, 02:52 PM   #4439
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Originally Posted by aozer View Post
Got back into online dating after a few months hiatus. Didn’t take long for me to remember how much of a negative impact this shit has on my self esteem and quality of life in general. I have a date lined up tomorrow but after that I am strongly considering pulling myself out of the dating game entirely. I am much happier alone than when I’m chasing after shitty women with over inflated egos.
That's pretty much how I felt too. I was already basically done when this girl came along. Unfortunately, she started to have the same feelings just prior to us meeting. Now, we're both dealing with uncertainty.
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      08-08-2019, 03:42 PM   #4440
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Got back into online dating after a few months hiatus. Didn’t take long for me to remember how much of a negative impact this shit has on my self esteem and quality of life in general. I have a date lined up tomorrow but after that I am strongly considering pulling myself out of the dating game entirely. I am much happier alone than when I’m chasing after shitty women with over inflated egos.
I've already decided that if something happens between the girlfriend and I, that I have no desire to even attempt to date. It's a rarity for me to find other people that I clique with. I've been through so much in life that unless they have struggled as well, I am completely unrelatable to them. I have plenty to do with my time and money to keep me busy, versus trying to chase after women that I'm most likely not even interested in or not even able to have a conversation with.

I get frustrated with 90% of the people I encounter, just while driving. I couldn't imagine trying to have an intellectual conversation with them.
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      08-08-2019, 04:25 PM   #4441
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
I've already decided that if something happens between the girlfriend and I, that I have no desire to even attempt to date. It's a rarity for me to find other people that I clique with. I've been through so much in life that unless they have struggled as well, I am completely unrelatable to them. I have plenty to do with my time and money to keep me busy, versus trying to chase after women that I'm most likely not even interested in or not even able to have a conversation with.

I get frustrated with 90% of the people I encounter, just while driving. I couldn't imagine trying to have an intellectual conversation with them.
It's like everything you said, except the bold, was coming out of my mouth.
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      08-08-2019, 06:59 PM   #4442
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aozer View Post
Got back into online dating after a few months hiatus. Didn’t take long for me to remember how much of a negative impact this shit has on my self esteem and quality of life in general. I have a date lined up tomorrow but after that I am strongly considering pulling myself out of the dating game entirely. I am much happier alone than when I’m chasing after shitty women with over inflated egos.
Lol I decided a while back online dating is stupid. Meeting someone based on a profile that’s self-promoting on an app never works out as intended.
Meeting people organically through going to happy-hours and within the circles of the hobbies I participate in has been much more fruitful.
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      08-09-2019, 02:45 AM   #4443
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Lol I decided a while back online dating is stupid. Meeting someone based on a profile that’s self-promoting on an app never works out as intended.
Meeting people organically through going to happy-hours and within the circles of the hobbies I participate in has been much more fruitful.
Thats very true and I would applaude that, if people are more getting out to have some fun with real life and no stupid apps. Im sometimes too shy to go straight to others and start a chat, you are maybe right, within more or less closed circles of interests a first contact via the hobby is easier.
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      08-09-2019, 06:37 AM   #4444
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Originally Posted by Dang3r View Post
Thats very true and I would applaude that, if people are more getting out to have some fun with real life and no stupid apps. Im sometimes too shy to go straight to others and start a chat, you are maybe right, within more or less closed circles of interests a first contact via the hobby is easier.
This thread is making me realize I never get out anymore. All I do is work, drive to and from work, and go to the gym. FML
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