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      07-09-2019, 11:04 PM   #4247
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Originally Posted by Now_Rudi View Post
Wait a minute......"accidentally" said I love you? No one accidentally says this. Lots of thought went into this.....from how to say it, when to say it, etc. Especially if it came from the female first. I can assure you, if she said it, it was well planned and thought out for weeks before it was muttered.

I too am curious as to how the rest of the exchange followed. I've been lucky enough to share the sentiment of anyone who has ever said it to me. I mean, how does a person respond to such a thing in the event that the feeling is not mutual?
It definitely wasn't that complicated. We had just left a bar after a couple of drinks and some food. I walked her to her car, kissed her goodnight, and she said "Ok, I love you". It was more of an instinctual reaction than an actual "I'm in love with you" kind of thing. The sort of thing you would say to a family member when you hang up the phone.

Edit: My reaction was to turn and look at her quizzingly and smile real big, to which she said "That's not what I meant. I mean, I like you". I just kept smiling and said goodnight.

We've had some pretty good discussions regarding how we both feel and what we're ready and not ready for in this relationship. We've both expressed the fact that we have love for each other, but it isn't at that point yet.

I'm not sure if this clears things up or makes it more confusing.
Wait. I am confused as a baby at a buffet (topless bar). Even if it's an instinctive response it still came from somewhere... she must have thought about it. It's safe to assume love is in the air. Do you love her? If so, then would you ask her... about last night when we parted... you quickly said... what did you mean?
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      07-10-2019, 05:55 AM   #4248
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Maybe it sounds cruel...but you guys have to know that I actually never planned on getting married again. I had almost 7 years to myself. I learned I could be happy on my own, and didn't need anyone to make me happy.

I had my own nice place, custody of my daughter, a few fun cars....and basically my pick of women in this small town whenever I wanted as I guess at 27-34 years old...they were desperate.

And when you add in the attitude that I had of "I could care less"....it was like I had a magnet drawing them in. I was never mean or rude to anyone....but I let them know up front I was out to have fun and not looking for anything serious.

But I guess they thought they could be the one to change my mind.
^This right here. So true. Life after divorce. After all the crazy emotions you take a deep breath. It's so liberating once you are comfortable and happy being alone. And I absolutely agree on the I couldn't care less attitude being a magnet.
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      07-10-2019, 08:32 AM   #4249
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You were in my territory. I'm about 2 hours from Nashville east on I-40. Glad to hear things are going well!
Knoxville?
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      07-10-2019, 08:34 AM   #4250
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Wait. I am confused as a baby at a buffet (topless bar). Even if it's an instinctive response it still came from somewhere... she must have thought about it. It's safe to assume love is in the air. Do you love her? If so, then would you ask her... about last night when we parted... you quickly said... what did you mean?
As I said in my previous post, we have discussed the fact that there is love between us. We just aren't ready for that type of serious relationship right now. There's no need for us to complicate things right now. We're open and honest with each other and know what we want right now.
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      07-10-2019, 10:18 AM   #4251
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As I said in my previous post, we have discussed the fact that there is love between us. We just aren't ready for that type of serious relationship right now. There's no need for us to complicate things right now. We're open and honest with each other and know what we want right now.
Sounds like you are exactly where you want to be!
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      07-10-2019, 11:44 AM   #4252
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As I said in my previous post, we have discussed the fact that there is love between us. We just aren't ready for that type of serious relationship right now. There's no need for us to complicate things right now. We're open and honest with each other and know what we want right now.
Sounds like you are exactly where you want to be!
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      07-10-2019, 02:08 PM   #4253
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Knoxville?
Crossville. 45 miles west of Knoxville.
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      07-10-2019, 06:23 PM   #4254
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Knoxville?
Crossville. 45 miles west of Knoxville.
Nice! I was in Gatlinburg in mid June when I did a road trip. I think that is about 2 hours or so away I remember seeing it on the GPS.
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      07-13-2019, 08:52 AM   #4255
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we've all heard the horror stories about single moms, but what is the cut off between a divorced milf and a "single mom"?
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      07-13-2019, 11:39 AM   #4256
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It depends on your age. If you're 78 you don't want to be caught with a 16 year old. Well what goes on the yacht stays on the yacht :

I would say it is more down to respecting her priorities. Her kid(s) will always come first and it's probably not a good idea for you to discipline them. Understand she's not looking for a dad. Stay clear of any drama with her ex if he is still on the scene. If he is I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole unless drama is your thing. The rest is basics of being trustworthy, supporting her and, always paying the check in the restaurant.

On a side note the average age of a single mom is 38. Apparently many men in their 20's go for a single mom in her 30's.
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      07-13-2019, 01:09 PM   #4257
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Originally Posted by Chelsea_Tractor View Post
It depends on your age. If you're 78 you don't want to be caught with a 16 year old. Well what goes on the yacht stays on the yacht :

I would say it is more down to respecting her priorities. Her kid(s) will always come first and it's probably not a good idea for you to discipline them. Understand she's not looking for a dad. Stay clear of any drama with her ex if he is still on the scene. If he is I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole unless drama is your thing. The rest is basics of being trustworthy, supporting her and, always paying the check in the restaurant.

On a side note the average age of a single mom is 38. Apparently many men in their 20's go for a single mom in her 30's.

Single mom's in their 30's know stuff......
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      07-13-2019, 10:15 PM   #4258
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Originally Posted by Chelsea_Tractor View Post
It depends on your age. If you're 78 you don't want to be caught with a 16 year old. Well what goes on the yacht stays on the yacht :

I would say it is more down to respecting her priorities. Her kid(s) will always come first and it's probably not a good idea for you to discipline them. Understand she's not looking for a dad. Stay clear of any drama with her ex if he is still on the scene. If he is I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole unless drama is your thing. The rest is basics of being trustworthy, supporting her and, always paying the check in the restaurant.

On a side note the average age of a single mom is 38. Apparently many men in their 20's go for a single mom in her 30's.
right, but i get what you're saying. I meant as in the "single mom" stereotype where they're like early 30s at most, those (or so i've heard) come with the most drama - not trying to get involved with that

i'm asking because i met this girl/woman the other day, she seems chill but she's 34, so about 13 years older than i am. not really looking to get involved (doubt she is looking for a relationship anyway) and we met at an event so i didn't get to learn more details. it seems like she's just on a rebound thing which i'm more than fine with, but how can i figure out if the ex is still on the scene?

don't really want to ask it flat out at lunch tomorrow but also if the guy is still around i don't want to get involved
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      07-14-2019, 12:38 AM   #4259
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Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelsea_Tractor View Post
It depends on your age. If you're 78 you don't want to be caught with a 16 year old. Well what goes on the yacht stays on the yacht :

I would say it is more down to respecting her priorities. Her kid(s) will always come first and it's probably not a good idea for you to discipline them. Understand she's not looking for a dad. Stay clear of any drama with her ex if he is still on the scene. If he is I wouldn't touch her with a barge pole unless drama is your thing. The rest is basics of being trustworthy, supporting her and, always paying the check in the restaurant.

On a side note the average age of a single mom is 38. Apparently many men in their 20's go for a single mom in her 30's.
right, but i get what you're saying. I meant as in the "single mom" stereotype where they're like early 30s at most, those (or so i've heard) come with the most drama - not trying to get involved with that

i'm asking because i met this girl/woman the other day, she seems chill but she's 34, so about 13 years older than i am. not really looking to get involved (doubt she is looking for a relationship anyway) and we met at an event so i didn't get to learn more details. it seems like she's just on a rebound thing which i'm more than fine with, but how can i figure out if the ex is still on the scene?

don't really want to ask it flat out at lunch tomorrow but also if the guy is still around i don't want to get involved
If she's over him she will tell you herself. If it bothers you then ask in a way you would want to be asked. If anything changes and she sounds like she's not quite moved on then bolt. However, it takes one to get over one so you might be the one that makes her forget about the ex if there is one.

I found with these things. It works best if you focus on her, having a good time, making her feel good.. when you show her what good is then she we will think about what she missed out on and how she deserves better. Well most do but some do end up going backwards... again if you see that then bolt.

I guess signs she is not quite over him... she stalks him online... he's blowing up her cell or she's messaging him more... probably a lot more other signs.

One way to find out. Keep it cool and casual I say. See where it goes.
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      07-14-2019, 02:44 AM   #4260
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chelsea_Tractor View Post
If she's over him she will tell you herself. If it bothers you then ask in a way you would want to be asked. If anything changes and she sounds like she's not quite moved on then bolt. However, it takes one to get over one so you might be the one that makes her forget about the ex if there is one.

I found with these things. It works best if you focus on her, having a good time, making her feel good.. when you show her what good is then she we will think about what she missed out on and how she deserves better. Well most do but some do end up going backwards... again if you see that then bolt.

I guess signs she is not quite over him... she stalks him online... he's blowing up her cell or she's messaging him more... probably a lot more other signs.

One way to find out. Keep it cool and casual I say. See where it goes.

+1

Just be you....if the ex is still in the picture you will find out really quick. If so....just back out and tell her you don't want drama. Ex's can be bad news as while she may be over him.... you never know how he is feeling. He may think they are trying to work things out. But if she has stuff out on Social Media that show her having fun, partying, etc.....I would be sure he knows it's over.

Now the good thing about that situation. If all you're looking for is to have a good time among "other things".... this is the perfect scenario.

I can guarantee you she's not looking for anything else but the same thing. And if by chance she was looking for something more especially if she hasn't been split up too long.....those are the ones you run....not walk....but run from!
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      07-14-2019, 07:27 PM   #4261
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Originally Posted by Chelsea_Tractor View Post
If she's over him she will tell you herself. If it bothers you then ask in a way you would want to be asked. If anything changes and she sounds like she's not quite moved on then bolt. However, it takes one to get over one so you might be the one that makes her forget about the ex if there is one.

I found with these things. It works best if you focus on her, having a good time, making her feel good.. when you show her what good is then she we will think about what she missed out on and how she deserves better. Well most do but some do end up going backwards... again if you see that then bolt.

I guess signs she is not quite over him... she stalks him online... he's blowing up her cell or she's messaging him more... probably a lot more other signs.

One way to find out. Keep it cool and casual I say. See where it goes.
thanks man, i just saw this but all in all i'd say she's pretty chill about it. i brought it up after she mentioned how her kid was at dad's place this weekend, she seems like she's pretty over it. I asked about the kid because she gave me her insta and it's like 50% pics with the little guy and 50% "i crave dick" pictures, and then from there just went towards getting an answer about the ex. by her admission she's over it because the ex was a cheater and ended up getting married to the other girl and she realized there's no point in getting hung up on him. didn't talk bad about him given the frame so that's one less red flag too


Quote:
Originally Posted by Rmtt View Post
+1

Just be you....if the ex is still in the picture you will find out really quick. If so....just back out and tell her you don't want drama. Ex's can be bad news as while she may be over him.... you never know how he is feeling. He may think they are trying to work things out. But if she has stuff out on Social Media that show her having fun, partying, etc.....I would be sure he knows it's over.

Now the good thing about that situation. If all you're looking for is to have a good time among "other things".... this is the perfect scenario.
I can guarantee you she's not looking for anything else but the same thing. And if by chance she was looking for something more especially if she hasn't been split up too long.....those are the ones you run....not walk....but run from!
yes! i hoped she got that vibe when i told her i still had another year in my undergrad, and today at lunch it was made clear that we're just looking to hang over the summer. we'll see how stuff unfolds after i return to school maybe we'll stay in touch maybe not but at least for the time being both of us don't really want more than a summer fling.


lowkey she's really hot for a 34 year old

Now_Rudi I know it's not work hours so you're probably not around - please chime in
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      07-15-2019, 09:10 AM   #4262
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thanks man, i just saw this but all in all i'd say she's pretty chill about it. i brought it up after she mentioned how her kid was at dad's place this weekend, she seems like she's pretty over it. I asked about the kid because she gave me her insta and it's like 50% pics with the little guy and 50% "i crave dick" pictures, and then from there just went towards getting an answer about the ex. by her admission she's over it because the ex was a cheater and ended up getting married to the other girl and she realized there's no point in getting hung up on him. didn't talk bad about him given the frame so that's one less red flag too



yes! i hoped she got that vibe when i told her i still had another year in my undergrad, and today at lunch it was made clear that we're just looking to hang over the summer. we'll see how stuff unfolds after i return to school maybe we'll stay in touch maybe not but at least for the time being both of us don't really want more than a summer fling.


lowkey she's really hot for a 34 year old

Now_Rudi I know it's not work hours so you're probably not around - please chime in
My advice: Take advantage of the opportunity. A missed opportunity is just that. If it's nothing more than a fling and you have no drama to deal with, get that shit done!
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      07-15-2019, 09:15 AM   #4263
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thanks man, i just saw this but all in all i'd say she's pretty chill about it. i brought it up after she mentioned how her kid was at dad's place this weekend, she seems like she's pretty over it. I asked about the kid because she gave me her insta and it's like 50% pics with the little guy and 50% "i crave dick" pictures, and then from there just went towards getting an answer about the ex. by her admission she's over it because the ex was a cheater and ended up getting married to the other girl and she realized there's no point in getting hung up on him. didn't talk bad about him given the frame so that's one less red flag too



yes! i hoped she got that vibe when i told her i still had another year in my undergrad, and today at lunch it was made clear that we're just looking to hang over the summer. we'll see how stuff unfolds after i return to school maybe we'll stay in touch maybe not but at least for the time being both of us don't really want more than a summer fling.


lowkey she's really hot for a 34 year old

Now_Rudi I know it's not work hours so you're probably not around - please chime in
My advice: Take advantage of the opportunity. A missed opportunity is just that. If it's nothing more than a fling and you have no drama to deal with, get that shit done!
Oh that is 100% the plan! Just wanted to make sure I knew what to look for
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      07-15-2019, 09:21 AM   #4264
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Oh that is 100% the plan! Just wanted to make sure I knew what to look for
You have a green light my man. Enjoy!
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      07-15-2019, 11:46 AM   #4265
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Oh that is 100% the plan! Just wanted to make sure I knew what to look for
Be sure to act all Naïve and innocent at first. Let her think she is teaching you something! Then you rock her world.

In those situations, they tend to go out of their way to "prove" something.
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      07-15-2019, 12:37 PM   #4266
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Be sure to act all Naïve and innocent at first. Let her think she is teaching you something! Then you rock her world.

In those situations, they tend to go out of their way to "prove" something.
This!
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      07-18-2019, 07:33 AM   #4267
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guys... i dont think i can go back, last night was GREAT
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      07-18-2019, 07:38 AM   #4268
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