What's the community like where you live?

[floridaorange]

Are people friendly and interested in getting to know you? Or are they closed off and anti-social?

Here in Central Florida, we are pretty social, but I will say there are some pretty big defenses that are up here due to the transient historical nature of the area.

But it's a pretty solid self-policing place, meaning there are good ethics and values and for the most part people stay in line and are polite and well mannered.

When I lived in San Diego, not quite the same, independence ruled and people really stayed to themselves. Although I made some awesome friends I still have to this day, there just wasn't much community going on.

[Tommy-G]

I have a real tough time with this.....
90% of my street is retirees (Gulf Coast of Florida)
Most keep to themselves but some are overly thoughtful, caring and friendly.
-They go to the Italian Market and ask if I want anything special
-My garage door has popped open 3 days in a row and they call me asking if I want them to close it.
-They hear the dog barking erratically on the pool deck and they call worried something is wrong

But next to those neighbors is a young couple, probably 35-40yrs old. Guy is a fireman and a total douche. NEVER says hello when I'm out walking the dog or riding the bike. His wife is SMOKING HOT and always friendly but they are NEVER outside. NEVER except to go from the cars to the house.

When living up North, everyone was outside and would say hello or hey we're having a Bar-B-Que if you want to stop by but that was about the extent.

Just weird here people watch out for each other but they all pretty much stay to their property and keep to them selves. I find even after 7 years here, I truly have no friends. I have coworkers I am friendly with but due to being management I wont cross the line to become too close.

[RickFLM4]

We have been in our house for 20 years and have gotten to know other long term neighbors and some more recent one’s. Not really hang out or go out to dinner-type friends but help each other out when necessary and talk when we see each other friendly. Much more neighborly than when we lived in Miami.

Over time, our community has seen an increase in seasonal equestrians and other NY / Northeast transplants. We are open to meeting and being friendly with anyone, but these folks generally don’t seem interested.

[DocL]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

We have been in our house for 20 years and have gotten to know other long term neighbors and some more recent one’s. Not really hang out or go out to dinner-type friends but help each other out when necessary and talk when we see each other friendly. Much more neighborly than when we lived in Miami.

Over time, our community has seen an increase in seasonal equestrians and other NY / Northeast transplants. We are open to meeting and being friendly with anyone, but these folks generally don’t seem interested.

That seems to be the status quo in Palm Beach, I feel the same way and have had the same experience where I live. Now that my community is coming up on being 20yrs old, many of the original buyere have moved because their kids are now in college. My community is zoned for the A rated schools in Boca, so it's a highly sought after area because it's small, 175 houses, and in Delray. Don't ask how we got zoned for the schools we are in lol.

[vreihen16]

Here in upstate NY, we live on a dead-end road surrounded by thousands of acres of woods/forest. There's seven houses, and six of the houses are owned by their occupants and have people that look out for each other. (The 7th house is a rental, and tenants seem to change every few months.) My wife knows everyone but the renters, and our OCD psycho dog is considered the mayor of our neighborhood. One of the neighbors comes running if we need a hand unloading something bulky, and we have actually driven all the way to Miami to visit our former elderly neighbors and deliver a large item to them that they left behind when they moved. Another neighbors has a BBQ smoker, and I'll send over a huge batch of ribs for him to cook and pass out to the neighbors at least twice per year. When we closed our house purchase back on day one, the neighbors told us that we were obligated to wave at each other whenever we saw each other outside or in cars on the road.

Down at our SC lakeside retirement property, NOBODY waves back or has even questioned us when we have been there despite also being on the far end of a dead-end road in the woods. I've seen plenty of neighbors drive past, walk/jog past, and even drive by with golf carts, and not one of them stopped or waved back! I'm not sure if it's because the Mighty Dodge has "damn yankee" NY license plates, because some of them are seasonal residents, or that they just don't care and southern hospitality is a myth. This really bothers me, because I'd at least like someone in the neighborhood to have our contact info in case of a problem on our lot.....

[vreihen16]

I should add a correction in the house count. Since the murder/arson of our nearest neighbor's house last year, there are only six houses and one condemned/burned-out shell on our street. The sentencing for the punk who did that is scheduled for later this month, and you can bet that our neighborhood will be well-represented in the courtroom to see him off to prison. I will will personally have a second-row seat, leaving the first row open for our dead neighbor's immediate family.....

[Nuckle]

We moved into this house in November. We have about 40 houses in our hood. All the kids play together which is great to see. We have at least one party a month of some sort where everyone is invited. We often do things with our neighbors and have made some new friends. Communication is great through groupme and everyone is always willing to help / loan / give. We like it here.

[UncleWede]

Don't make eye contact

[overcoil]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Don't make eye contact

that's funny

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Caravaggio

that's funny

But reminded me I need to call CHP to tag that car my neighbor pushed out onto the street IN FRONT OF MY HOUSE

This is the one who threw a crescent wrench and spark plugs thru my front window when I reported his car repair business to the county.

[spazzyfry123]

Probably 75 homes in our gated, HOA neighborhood. We've been here for about 2.5 years and the neighborhood is probably about 15 years old with a fair amount of original owners. We have walking trails, stocked pond, pool, tennis courts, etc., but we really don't know anyone. Admittedly, we closed on our house February 2020 and then everything went into lockdown, so there was an immediate "don't talk/meet anyone" vibe. That said, with the amenities and amount of children, I'd really anticipate a larger sense of community. No events are planned, when folks rent out the clubhouse, it's to bring in outside friends rather than internal. I only really know the retired couple across the street.

We're the capital of the state, but the town has a lot of divided pockets. The MTB crew is probably the main thing I see that jumps those lines.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by spazzyfry123

Probably 75 homes in our gated, HOA neighborhood. We've been here for about 2.5 years and the neighborhood is probably about 15 years old with a fair amount of original owners. We have walking trails, stocked pond, pool, tennis courts, etc., but we really don't know anyone. Admittedly, we closed on our house February 2020 and then everything went into lockdown, so there was an immediate "don't talk/meet anyone" vibe. That said, with the amenities and amount of children, I'd really anticipate a larger sense of community. No events are planned, when folks rent out the clubhouse, it's to bring in outside friends rather than internal. I only really know the retired couple across the street.

We're the capital of the state, but the town has a lot of divided pockets. The MTB crew is probably the main thing I see that jumps those lines.

Does your community have Foodtruck nights?
Thats a big thing around us on the Gulf. All the developments bring in local Foodtrucks, seems to be good way to get to know people (but my development does not participate)

[spazzyfry123]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

Does your community have Foodtruck nights?
Thats a big thing around us on the Gulf. All the developments bring in local Foodtrucks, seems to be good way to get to know people (but my development does not participate)

That's a great idea! But when I say no events are planned, I mean not a single thing has been put together short of a virtual HOA meeting to complain that kids left their towels at the pool or the mailman was a day late on delivery.

I think it'd be fine if the annual HOA cost was minimal, but we may has well have a 13th month of mortgage each year. I've tried a couple times to have a coffee get-together on a Saturday morning or something, but no bites.

Not complaining here, just interesting to see that people choose to live in a community but actively have no interest in developing the true sense of one. It's not cheap (homes and HOA), so I'm convinced it's a status symbol more than anything.

EDIT: We're in process of moving

[rebekahb]

Originally Posted by DocL

That seems to be the status quo in Palm Beach, I feel the same way and have had the same experience where I live. Now that my community is coming up on being 20yrs old, many of the original buyere have moved because their kids are now in college. My community is zoned for the A rated schools in Boca, so it's a highly sought after area because it's small, 175 houses, and in Delray. Don't ask how we got zoned for the schools we are in lol.

My sister in law moved from uptown Nola where she and friends on her street would show up at each other's houses with a beer randomly to say Hi. Watch each other's kids, go to festivals, walk to restaurants, etc. She moved to Wellington and STRUGGLED. She lives in Olympia and it's cookie cutter type houses and it was difficult to make friends. She's 3 years in and I would say in the past year or less she has finally made some friends. This was an extremely social person who loved happy hours and get togethers. She said it was like people didn't want to make friends and she was weird for trying. Maybe it's a northern thing?

[floridaorange]

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

I have a real tough time with this.....
90% of my street is retirees (Gulf Coast of Florida)
Most keep to themselves but some are overly thoughtful, caring and friendly.
-They go to the Italian Market and ask if I want anything special
-My garage door has popped open 3 days in a row and they call me asking if I want them to close it.
-They hear the dog barking erratically on the pool deck and they call worried something is wrong

But next to those neighbors is a young couple, probably 35-40yrs old. Guy is a fireman and a total douche. NEVER says hello when I'm out walking the dog or riding the bike. His wife is SMOKING HOT and always friendly but they are NEVER outside. NEVER except to go from the cars to the house.

When living up North, everyone was outside and would say hello or hey we're having a Bar-B-Que if you want to stop by but that was about the extent.

Just weird here people watch out for each other but they all pretty much stay to their property and keep to them selves. I find even after 7 years here, I truly have no friends. I have coworkers I am friendly with but due to being management I wont cross the line to become too close.

Originally Posted by Tommy-G

I have a real tough time with this.....
90% of my street is retirees (Gulf Coast of Florida)
Most keep to themselves but some are overly thoughtful, caring and friendly.
-They go to the Italian Market and ask if I want anything special
-My garage door has popped open 3 days in a row and they call me asking if I want them to close it.
-They hear the dog barking erratically on the pool deck and they call worried something is wrong

But next to those neighbors is a young couple, probably 35-40yrs old. Guy is a fireman and a total douche. NEVER says hello when I'm out walking the dog or riding the bike. His wife is SMOKING HOT and always friendly but they are NEVER outside. NEVER except to go from the cars to the house.

When living up North, everyone was outside and would say hello or hey we're having a Bar-B-Que if you want to stop by but that was about the extent.

Just weird here people watch out for each other but they all pretty much stay to their property and keep to them selves. I find even after 7 years here, I truly have no friends. I have coworkers I am friendly with but due to being management I wont cross the line to become too close.

Making friends is tough - it's sort of a numbers game in a way, as we get older. We have to be a part of several communities I think, outside of our neighborhood (comfort zones) in order to organically forge new relationships after 40. Time becomes so precious and everyone has so many commitments etc. But it is really nice when you do find a genuine connection and put the work in to grow the relationship. It is work - no 2 ways about it - it's extra work!

As for the neighbors always looking out for you - almost annoyingly - my neighbor from Long Island is like that - or was - before he had a falling out with a new neighbor - I had the privilege of getting in the middle and deescalating it. His parents who come down from Long Island to visit are super social and fun to be around though. But once the neighbor had his 4th kid he kind of became a recluse.

My wife grew up in one of the nicest climates in our country - coastal Santa Cruz, and although I'm tempted sometimes to move there - we have a strong community here - and you can't buy that nor can you replace it with nicer weather.

Our Mountain house is in a pretty private type street - we have a private road on our street and the neighbors have mostly owned their homes for generations. Higher elevations make ppl behave different I'm convinced - but boy those older folks sure like to golf and play bingo, square dance, etc. And looots of pickle ball!!

[e90335e36m3]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Don't make eye contact

That's what I hated the most about CA. Lived in SD, LA, Sac and Davis. Apart from Davis, Californians are the most unfriendly and standoffish people anywhere, and I've lived in CT, spending a lot of time between NYC and Boston.

People in Charlotte are really pleasant by comparison.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by floridaorange

Making friends is tough - it's sort of a numbers game in a way, as we get older. We have to be a part of several communities I think, outside of our neighborhood (comfort zones) in order to organically forge new relationships after 40.

Many times I have sat at a bar and tried to strike up a conversation only to be perceived as trying to pick someone up or even my wife and I being treated as if we were swingers. I def think thats just a Florida thing.

[floridaorange]

What about hobbies or enthusiast events, car shows, facebook events. No offense but it is a big world out there with loads of various sized communities. Back in the day it was limited to social clubs (they still exist), rotary, shriners, toast masters, church. Now there are tons: a few off the top of my head: swim clubs, rowing clubs, tennis clubs, ultimate frisbee meetups, car club meetups. You have to go and keep going and then people get to know you over time. You'll make some friends and then you'll also not put so much pressure on the few people you consider close friends. Frankly those relationships aren't meant to carry the weight of all your stuff, it's meant to be spread out across various friends and groups.

In all cases it always amounts to what you put into it and you have to risk rejection, accountability, time, effort. This is from personal experience. Even the mini bike group I'm apart of is just good ol dumb fun.

[dreamingat30fps]

Hard to say as I'm anti-social as fuck so. However in FL we have lived in the same community for 12 years. I've only really talked to the neighbor across the street because he's a social butterfly and seems to know everyone in the community. Everyone that walks down the street stops to talk with him if he's outside. So he's always coming over to talk to me when I'm doing stuff outside. The other neighbors I have never spoken to except one who decided to talk to me for the first time maybe like 1 or 2 years ago when I was outside working on something. Since then haven't really talked to him any more but we do wave when we see each other.

They do have community events for holidays and what not, but like I said, I'm anti-social and have never been to any of them. Some people wave, some don't, but overall most people in the community seem friendly enough.

In NC I can only see the neighbors house on one side which also happens to be the family of the lady we purchased the house from and she also lives there now. We are friendly enough, we don't hang out or anything but we wave and small talk every so often. The neighbor across the street I have never seen. I'm told it's an elderly man and I see people come visit him and take care of his property but I have never seen him or spoken to him. I cannot see any of the other neighbors and have never spoken with them.

I will say people out in the wild seem friendlier in NC than they do in FL (at least my specific areas). Like out at the stores, restaurants etc. Lot's of grumpy old people and very loud obnoxious people from NY in my part of FL.

[floridaorange]

I'm going to my neighbors Moms funeral on Tues, I was honored he invited me. He's a veteran, batchelor, knows motors of all kinds better than anyone I know and is really cool. He's got 20 yrs on me - but we connected over fishing and boating.

[Our03z4]

VERY small town, have lived here for my entire life, same with my wife. If someone in the town doesn't know you and you move in, good luck. People leave quickly when they realize this. It's sad but the way it has always been, my parents hated it when they 1st moved here but they stuck it out.

This is the kind of place you want to be in the apocalypse. Everyone knows everyone and everything about you so if anything is unusual about the environment you'll know about it. I don't even lock my doors during the day and you can leave the keys in your car.

My wife calls it the fish bowl but we love the safety this place provides, it's one big family. If people leave they always come back when a house goes for sale. Lots of families have been here since the 1800s.

[2000cs]

Very small beach town. 5000 residents plus seasonal visitors and weekend beach goers. Locals are very friendly; we wave driving by and say hello walking. Same with the local restaurants and barber shop (think Floyd). We’ve been here two years and have gotten to know some of our near neighbors, any time we ask for advice (what grows here, what to use to control weeds or bugs, etc) they always have a suggestion. They don’t seem to like the people who move in with a large wad and lots of flash, but then neither do we!