Life's warnings

[floridaorange]

What is something you wish you had been more prepared for in your life that has made you think “I wish someone could have warned or explained that to me sooner?

[2000cs]

I received, and ignored, all of the advice that would have been responsive to this thread. So perhaps the only remaining advice (which I needed to hear at least one more time than I did) is: “sit down, shut up, pay attention and respect the knowledge and experience that are shared with you.”

I would have chosen my first wife, cars, houses, investments, jobs, and so many more things in my life much better. I don’t regret it, and I probably wasn’t mature enough to appreciate the options and make better choices anyway. Many things I was taught I still had to learn through experience.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by 2000cs

I received, and ignored, all of the advice that would have been responsive to this thread. So perhaps the only remaining advice (which I needed to hear at least one more time than I did) is: “sit down, shut up, pay attention and respect the knowledge and experience that are shared with you.”

I would have chosen my first wife, cars, houses, investments, jobs, and so many more things in my life much better. I don’t regret it, and I probably wasn’t mature enough to appreciate the options and make better choices anyway. Many things I was taught I still had to learn through experience.

That's it in a nutshell. Some of it is ego (I'm better than that, it'll never happen to me, etc) and some of it is understanding. Experience begets understanding.

(Good thread topic, btw.)

[2000cs]

Financially the advice that I should have followed was to buy a small house, just enough for the family we planned/expected, in a decent neighborhood (likely to remain decent) and be satisfied with that. Invest instead of buying bigger houses or trading up. The compounded effect of not following that advice has to be 7 figures.

Of course there was competing advice since this was the late 1970s and inflation was pushing prices up quickly. That was to buy into the market and trade up frequently, using escalating equity (and loose lending) to get more and more house to the limit of my paycheck - after all, inflation also was pushing up paychecks so I’d quickly outgrow the “house poor” squeeze.

I didn’t take quite as much risk as the second advice implied (although few believed it was risky at the time, another lesson). But I wasn’t satisfied with my perfectly adequate first house. Which, being retired, I’d be happy to live in again today.

[shawnhayes]

Originally Posted by floridaorange

What is something you wish you had been more prepared for in your life that has made you think “I wish someone could have warned or explained that to me sooner?

Following your feelings will hurt you more in the long run if your brain is telling/screaming at you "this is NOT going to go well".

Shawn

[///MPhatic]

When asked what the meaning of life was, the Buddha "maintained a noble silence."

What he did was understand that true knowledge is only gained through the lens of your own experience, so merely telling us the answers doesn't make them MEAN something.

We can all see the good advice around us, and have been able to all our lives, but without experience we just don't take it.

I wish I would have known, as a young man, more physical hacks (minimum steps, zone minutes, workout days, water, etc) even though I was a super physical guy. You can't let that stuff down even for a month, regardless of how healthy you are. You're working towards a better future, not for the now. I'm sure I heard it, a million times, but I didn't listen. I'm very fit now, at 53, but for years I did nothing, and that's going to cost me in the end.

If I could go back in time and talk to my younger self, this is what I'd concentrate on. A healthy lifestyle.

[3.0L]

I wish I had enlisted in the Air Force instead of diddling around and getting
drafted into the US Army.

[tranquility]

Great thread and appreciate ppl opening up instead of the typical toxic online exchanges sometimes. That's nice.

For me, wished I spent more time w dad, worked on my languages, guitar, and made better choices that affected me financially. My grandpa told me to be diligent but I often slacked off. I guess I'm still 'lucky' to get to where I'm at in life given that I rarely gave my 100% but it could've been a lot better.

However, I think one thing to take away from all this is that while it's good to self-reflect, we are better off living in the present and looking ahead; there's no point feeling regret as that is something we cannot change. The universe has a way of giving you back your wasted years and more if we work towards being a better person and having a good mindset. I suppose part or a lot of that is being more spiritual and more in tune w other humans in this world and the universe/God/or whatever you wish to call it. Listen to your inner voice and try not to be so 'logical' w your brain sometimes. At least that works for me.

[hubbahubba]

Looking back at my life, sure, there were lot's of things that I could have done differently from the advice of others. Could I have avoided pitfalls and mistakes? You bet. That said, I am perfectly content with my life now. I love my wife of almost 34 years, we have 2 great adult sons that have done good things which makes me prouder than anything else. If my early life was different, and I had chosen a different path, I wouldn't (most likely) have them. Like tranquility said, never look back, only forward. Control what you can control and give the rest to God. Take your lumps, learn from them, and move on. Life is good!

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by hubbahubba

If my early life was different, and I had chosen a different path, I wouldn't (most likely) have them.

This is my mantra. I've made plenty of mistakes in my time. But everything I've done has led me to where I am now and that's not a bad thing. There's no telling where I'd be if I had done something drastically different in my earlier years. I've gained enough maturity and insight to be pretty sure of a good path going forward, barring any disasters that are out of my control.

[floridaorange]

Great responses - health, good small home in a nice neighborhood to be owned outright vs mortgaging up. More time spent with Dad - I needed to hear that one the most I’ll admit.

So the first 2 that come to mind for me are - the foundation of my marriage - I didn’t realize how irreplaceable those first 5 yrs are for really setting the tone for the next 15. I behaved immaturely didn’t make any grave mistakes thank God but could have just done better to create a stronger foundation. Secondly - would have really appreciated someone warning me about the normalcy of miscarriages. Third - didn’t think for a moment my wife losing her Mom would bring out so many different emotions many that I’d label negatively. Almost like an excuse to behave poorly, didn’t see that coming one bit - but I reckon it’s fairly common.

[allinon72]

Life is about the journey....that's why nostalgia is so powerful in human beings. Sure, everyone would like to go back and "do it perfectly", but that's not how life works. The most common thing people reference is "I wish I saved every penny since I was 12 years old and invested in *insert whatever investment ended up being incredible.* Even if that was possible, you would have been miserable at the time.

Live your life, use good discernment and make the best decision possible at the current time. A good decision at the time may seem like a bad one in the future, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

[c1pher]

Love can last for an evening but herpes lasts a lifetime.

[floridaorange]

Originally Posted by c1pher

Love can last for an evening but herpes lasts a lifetime.

Thankfully, my best friends Mom was the nurse who would go to highschools teaching Sex Ed using highly graphic slides, so that important warning was given, received and I thank her for it

[c1pher]

Seriously though, I bought and sold equities earlier in my life, needing the money, but in reality, I should have remained invested. This while was while I was in the military so felt like my pension would be great along with social security. However, at 42, I needed to start a second career and have been saving my butt off to have multiple streams of income. I won’t say how much I have been able to squirrel away but feel very fortunate. But if I had kept that initial money in, it could have provided a better foundation to start my second career with.

[M_Six]

Originally Posted by c1pher

Seriously though, I bought and sold equities earlier in my life, needing the money, but in reality, I should have remained invested. This while was while I was in the military so felt like my pension would be great along with social security. However, at 42, I needed to start a second career and have been saving my butt off to have multiple streams of income. I won’t say how much I have been able to squirrel away but feel very fortunate. But if I had kept that initial money in, it could have provided a better foundation to start my second career with.

Hindsight is 20/20, but useless. Back in the late-90's a friend and I were thinking of starting a business. I borrowed $10k from my folks, who had just sold their house. We never did start the business and I paid back that loan. But the other day I did some research and found that if I had used that $10k to buy some Apple stock and then let the proceeds keep buying new stock, it would be worth tens of millions today. If only I had known...

[shawnhayes]

Originally Posted by M_Six

Hindsight is 20/20, but useless. Back in the late-90's a friend and I were thinking of starting a business. I borrowed $10k from my folks, who had just sold their house. We never did start the business and I paid back that loan. But the other day I did some research and found that if I had used that $10k to buy some Apple stock and then let the proceeds keep buying new stock, it would be worth tens of millions today. If only I had known...

In that regard, then, hindsight is ACTUALLY 1992…

Shawn