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09-10-2017, 10:40 PM | #1 |
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It's been a while since I've been on here, but I don't know how to or where to vent.
Less than 48 hours ago, I had to make the hardest decision of my life ending my best friends pain. Bowser, was 7 years old, and for the first 4.5-5 years of his life he was a total spark plug. Unfortunately they began finding cancerous tumors, 2 of which already had been removed, but they kept coming back- and how he survived for 2 extra years battling back and forth- makes me appreciate how strong and loyal he was to me. Bowser wasn't just any normal dog. He was my certified ESA. He traveled everywhere with me with the exception of Australia (flight too long+ quarantine) We are currently in Guadalajara as I am producing a bands album out here, and he suddenly got beyond sick- the cancer became extremely aggressive, he lost 3 kgs in 2 days- vomitting profusely, blood in his stool and urine- and every breath was hollow and in pain. I rushed him to a vet out here where they performed an ultra sound- and confirmed my worst fear. I was given the option to operate again, but I called my vet in Seattle and asked him to be honest with me- how much longer if I flew him back to get him the surgery. "A month...if that" I've lost my father. I've lost my grandfather. I've lost my sister- i have never bawled as hard as I have when it hit me that I was losing my best friend. I stayed with him the whole time. I held him and felt his last breath, the first time in weeks I have heard a breath of tranquility. I told him over and over again "please let go- I love you so much Bowser" and that was it. As you can imagine, im having an extremely difficult time. This is the first time I've ever loved a dog to this degree- Before I adopted him, I was addicted to pain medication and had already attempted suicide. He brought me and showed me so much joy, so much unconditional love- he saved my life. While I'm filled with extreme sadness, and pain almost- I also feel a sense of peace that my little boy is no longer in pain. However, I still find myself randomly crying my eyes out. If you've gone through this, please share your story, and any advice to pass on to me and fellow members here. I love you Bowser. I'll miss you so much.
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09-10-2017, 10:51 PM | #2 |
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I hope you feel better bro, but man's best friend is pain free and in a better place now.🙏🏻
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09-10-2017, 11:34 PM | #3 |
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Im sorry for your loss. Im sure he knew how much you really loved him and thats what matters.
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09-10-2017, 11:46 PM | #4 | |
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I'm very sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best. Just remember Bowser is always watching you from above. You did the right thing brother.
I remember reading this article a while ago that hit me pretty hard... Quote:
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09-10-2017, 11:53 PM | #5 |
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Damn, I feel your pain. One of my first memories as a child was the day my dad took our German shepherd to be put to sleep due to cancer. She gave me a last kiss before he put her in the car. You could see the look in her eyes, she knew she wasn't coming back.
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09-11-2017, 12:01 AM | #6 |
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Condolences. Been there with several pets. Always a heart-wrenching experience. But you have to do what's best for them.
Go to the local shelter tomorrow and rescue some poor dog.
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09-11-2017, 12:36 AM | #7 |
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so sad for you. I've been there many times, and its never easy, especially when they go relatively young like Bowser.
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09-11-2017, 01:57 AM | #8 |
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Sorry to hear it. It is amazing how much impact a dog can have on a person. Remember the good times and take solace that he isn't in any pain now. I'm sure he had a good life.
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09-11-2017, 04:06 AM | #9 |
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Sorry for your loss. Its a really terrible situation. We had to put our Boston down a few years back because his legs stopped working, one of the hardest things in life I've had to do. Why couldn't the bastard just have died on his own? I even had to hold him up while he shit. I made a diy tombstone with a tennis ball stuck in the concrete and buried him under some trees in the yard. It was my fiance's dog, more than mine and she never thought she could love a dog again like that but we ended rescuing some pointer looking "trash" dog as I call him and she's learned to move on and be very happy. It gets better with time and best thing you can do is rescue another one and start forming new bonds.
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09-11-2017, 05:33 AM | #10 |
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I feel for you, been through it with 2 dogs in the last couple of years.
My advice - it does get easier and you never forget, but over time the tears do turn to smiles as you remember the good times and the life you gave each other. When the first dog died 5 years ago (exactly today) we hesitated about getting another dog, which we eventually did. When the second one died, we had no hesitation in getting another dog. Just don't look at the new dog as a "replacement" - they never will be, it's just a new buddy for you. The thing about pets is that they give you unconditional love and that's why sometimes it's a lot harder to say goodbye to them than it is a person. There will be people that will tell you to just get over it, it was only a dog. But true dog lovers know and feel your pain. Chin up mate, grieve for your buddy and just remember the joy and happiness you brought each other and the smiles will return. I promise. |
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09-11-2017, 06:48 AM | #11 |
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no other way to say it besides that it sucks. been there, hang in there man. Remember all the good times you had and be thankful, that always helps me through tough times.
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09-11-2017, 06:55 AM | #12 |
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Condolences for your loss, remember him in all good and bad times, from somewhere he's surely watching you.
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09-11-2017, 07:15 AM | #13 |
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Absolute worst days of my life, I've had to send a few dogs off and it crushed me. I have a Jack Russell who's 12 now, had a few health scares with him last year.....he's good now but I dread when the time comes.
Peace. |
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09-11-2017, 07:30 AM | #14 |
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FUCK, u made me cry!
sorry for your loss |
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09-11-2017, 08:16 AM | #15 |
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I have been there and I have had to make that decision several times because I have had several pets. You did the right and selfless thing. Move forward in life knowing that you did right by your best friend. It would have been selfish to make him suffer further.
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09-11-2017, 08:43 AM | #16 |
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With you in kindred spirit, my friend. I've been down this road three times before and the most recent was no easier than the first. It hurts like hell right now but it WILL become easier.
Read The Rainbow Bridge, have a good cry and begin the healing process. In time, you will be smiling again recalling all the fond memories. |
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09-11-2017, 11:01 AM | #17 |
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Sorry for your loss. I feel your pain.
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09-11-2017, 11:02 AM | #18 |
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First this and then you lose to the Packers???
Just trying to lighten you up a bit. Stay strong! I can guarantee you will NEVER forget this moment. I had to put Casper down in 1984, and I can still see the room and smell the smells. But I know, as you should, that it was the right call. |
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09-11-2017, 11:26 AM | #19 |
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Surely these are the toughest times, at least for me. And especially tough, but right, to have done what you did and helped him over, rather than dragging him through hell just to postpone this pain for another few months. In times like this, I try to stay mindful that the pain is a measure of what was lost, how valuable it was, not just something to be 'gotten over' or anaesthetized. Over time you'll stop choking up randomly, or seeing him out of the corner of your eye, and it may be time to meet your next friend (hopefully somebody in a shelter needing a rescue). Damn these allergies are bad today....
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09-11-2017, 11:34 AM | #20 |
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It's horrible, an absolutely dreadful thing to send our best friends off like that. The only dog I ever owned, a precious little American Eskimo we named Peppermint (had a red collar her whole life hah) got violently ill right around her 18th birthday. Nobody in the family wanted to be in the room when they let her go, the pain was just too much. I sucked it up and did it for her, and every time I think of her I thank God I made that decision. As hard as it was to told her paw and watch as the needle was injected and to see her eyes close for the last time, it would have been a million times harder for me to think of her leaving this world in a room alone with some stranger. Just take solace in the fact that you showed your friend the unconditional love he showed you, by sticking it out with him to the end.
When you're ready, adopt another colleague of Bowser's to share your life with. It's obvious you're the kind of person with the heart required to care for an animal, so I hope you consider getting a new friend when the time is right. |
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09-11-2017, 12:30 PM | #21 |
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That's got to be tough. It hit me that my border collie is now 8 years old (we think). Seems like I brought him into my life yesterday. I know its tough losing one of your best friends.
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09-11-2017, 01:32 PM | #22 |
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I had to say goodbye to my best pal of all times, my 16 year old Chihuahua a year ago. I will say that I feel a lot better about it today than I did just a few months ago. I know I did the right thing. He developed a brain tumor, went deaf, then blind. For a few days I had to keep him tranquilized because if he was awake he was freaking out.
You will feel better about this over time. You definitely did the right thing. Animals are 100% dependent on you to make decisions for them. I am finally starting to think about giving another abandoned Chihuahua a home. There are so many unwanted animals out there, and I know that the best thing I can do is help another animal. That's what Chiwi would want me to do. Best of luck to you. |
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