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      09-30-2021, 10:12 AM   #177
Tambohamilton
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Originally Posted by Alfisti View Post
I make it sound bad I guess, the babies were really tough, we had zero support and the mrs is easily overwhelmed. But i'd still have em again if i had to, as they grow it gets very cool.



How good is it, peak foruming. It's jumped all over the place but still circles back, brilliant.



I was 34 and 39 and to me, it was a bit too old. I mean younger than some folks here and i don't mean them any disrespect but before you know i you are dead tired, added 25 pounds, can't sleep etc and you just don't have the energy you did at 30.

It also depends on the couple, reality is a lot depends on the woman, it just does, especially if she plans to take mat leave. I'd go to work on 2 hours sleep, come home and find both the baby and the wife crying, mrs looked homeless. You need the woman to be able to tuck the kids under her arm and get on with it otherwise you end up with two parents who are absolutely wrecked and tempers fray.

I've actually suggested to young couples that the man sleep in the basement, there's not much he can do to help after the first few weeks when it is time to wake and feed the baby, i'd just be there as support but i did literally nothing other than fetch the baby. So my night is BUTCHERED, i zombie through the day, come home and we are both wrecked. I think it works better if the man gets some rest, comes home from work somewhat fresh, grabs the baby, relieves the wife, tell her to go run a bath and put the headphones on and get her dinner ready.

If the man then takes some pat leave as i did, reverse the roles.
+1. There's no sense in neither parent getting sleep, if only 1 can do the night time stuff. My partner made that mistake for us the first time, but thankfully this time she's on board and we can generally get by.
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      09-30-2021, 11:45 AM   #178
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregrobin View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2000cs View Post
OP has worked his life from humble beginnings to prized possessions. Isn't the great thing about possessions and wealth being able to share them?

My thought on this is if you're unwilling to let her drive either of your cars, then she isn't the right one for you because your cars are worth more to you than she is. Really if you can't offer her the 335, then this is a temporary relationship. Find a girl you value more than your car.

Conversely, if she asks for a pretty simple favor and you decline, or try a work around, haven't you just shown her your red flag?

The situation on this issue has progressed too far to put the genie back in the bottle. No matter what you do, you have each learned something about the other. A magnanimous gesture at this stage might buy time in the relationship, but if you both don't change a few things I don't see it lasting.

FWIW my gf totaled her car while we were dating and really couldn't afford a replacement. I let her drive my X5 4.8is (my DD was a 997S at the time) and she kept it at her house, drove to work, let it be a mess, etc. for months. We ended up getting married and kept that X5 for almost 9 more years. She drove the 997S on narrow twisty roads within days of us meeting. Hopefully my tombstone will say something about being a good husband; I doubt if any of my cars will be mentioned.
All good points. I've actually asked her to drive the 335i many times so she can share in my excitement and enjoy the car like I do. She actually doesn't like it, and doesn't get why it's any different than any other car. I've told her take it to work, take it to your parents, put the top down and take it out tonight with your girlfriends, etc. She doesn't.

After reading all of these responses and thinking on this some more, what it comes down to is rain. I have this thing in my head that the car does not see wet roads and it stays clean. I literally keep a dust cover on it in the garage. I can't explain it. When I had the front tires off recently I cleaned everything, it looks brand new. I want it to stay that way.
No offense but you're way overthinking this…. It's just a car, not like your driving a lambo either, bigger things in life to worry about.
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      10-04-2021, 12:46 AM   #179
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Wait... aren't you gonna drive the 335i and not her?

So I don't see what the big deal is... it's not like she's driving your prized possession, YOU are.
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