The OFFICIAL online dating thread!

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by smoosh

Also, she asks if you're bipolar, three texts in, and you insult her...SMFH

This.


Not trying to be a dick, but I can see what the other guys are talking about. I can understand your humor in the first message, but that's because I've read your posts here and see your humor. People who have never messaged you before or read anything else from you will not get it. Unfortunately this is the disconnect between online dating and approaching people in real life. I'm a very sarcastic person, and I've noticed people never get it right off the bat if I've never met them before. Sarcasm seems to be something you keep in your back pocket for when you have already broken the ice and use it to flirt.

Using sarcasm upfront can seem defensive and like an asshole if the person doesn't understand it right away.

[smoosh]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

This.


Not trying to be a dick, but I can see what the other guys are talking about. I can understand your humor in the first message, but that's because I've read your posts here and see your humor. People who have never messaged you before or read anything else from you will not get it. Unfortunately this is the disconnect between online dating and approaching people in real life. I'm a very sarcastic person, and I've noticed people never get it right off the bat if I've never met them before. Sarcasm seems to be something you keep in your back pocket for when you have already broken the ice and use it to flirt.

Using sarcasm upfront can seem defensive and like an asshole if the person doesn't understand it right away.

Spot on. Women look for a few things when they first lay their eyes on a man: physical attraction, what his body language is like (facial expressions, posture, etc.), and relatability (is this guy normal? Is he too immature for me? Too mature for me? Can I relate with what he's saying? Etc.). Unfortunately, with online dating, you're VERY limited in what information you can gather to make a judgment on the other person. Good, diverse, unambiguous, honest profile pictures help greatly, but this also means too much focus is put on the text you send. that's why something like attempted sarcasm that's failed can be the end of the conversation, but usually would not be in person...

To be honest...unless you look like a model and you're on social dating apps, you're wasting your time. They're all fucking delusional; they think too highly of themselves, too highly of what they expect from others, have this imaginary scenario in their minds about how everything should go, 99% have emotional issues, etc. Honestly. Guys and girls both. Meet people in real life. Not necessarily social settings in fact (social settings can actually sometimes put more pressure on meeting someone than not typical social settings), just anywhere. Elevators, local starbucks, chipotle line, gym, etc. once you have some in-person practice down, you'll never go on social dating apps again...

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

The Philly area water supply must be contaminated. I'm unwilling to do a long distance thing so I'm keeping it around 60ish miles from me.


Any other decent free dating sites or apps outside of POF, OKC, Clover & Bumble?

Listen to the advice from 37psi , CTinline-six , and smoosh and GET OFF THE APPS!!

They are nothing but a cesspool. You live within 100 miles of millions of women. Millions. Go out and do something. Take group tennis lessons. Sooooo many women. Take a martial arts or self-defense class but don't be creepy. They are full of women and often very fit. Go sit in a coffee shop to do your work.

Smile and look approachable. Groom yourself extra well. Women look at hair and face, hands/nails, and shoes. Top, middle, and bottom. If these things are good, and you look approachable and non-creepy, you can meet women by the dozen.

Also...lose the chip on your shoulder and air of desperation because it comes through no matter the communication medium. Girls can sense this in a second and it's No Bueno. And talk about their favorite subject...themselves. And you really don't have to talk...just LISTEN and they will think you are the best conversationalist EVER!!

GET OFF THE APPS. THEY ARE POISON.

Good luck!

[geogerf]

Originally Posted by smoosh

To be honest...unless you look like a model and you're on social dating apps, you're wasting your time. They're all fucking delusional; they think too highly of themselves, too highly of what they expect from others, have this imaginary scenario in their minds about how everything should go, 99% have emotional issues, etc. Honestly. Guys and girls both. Meet people in real life. Not necessarily social settings in fact (social settings can actually sometimes put more pressure on meeting someone than not typical social settings), just anywhere. Elevators, local starbucks, chipotle line, gym, etc. once you have some in-person practice down, you'll never go on social dating apps again...

99%? Not at all. I’ve met several “good” girls on apps. They’re out there, they just probably more cautious to meet up, but you have to keep trying. It really is a number’s game.

The way I see it, it is just another avenue to meet people. Just like meeting in real life, except you can “meet” someone while your actually doing something else. Trick is to keep an open mind whichever method you use.

Edit: but fwiw for every good girl out there, there’s probably 10 fake, crazy, catfishing ones too. Just have to slog through it, it’s the journey anyway. Lol

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Listen to the advice from 37psi , CTinline-six , and smoosh and GET OFF THE APPS!!

They are nothing but a cesspool. You live within 100 miles of millions of women. Millions. Go out and do something. Take group tennis lessons. Sooooo many women. Take a martial arts or self-defense class but don't be creepy. They are full of women and often very fit. Go sit in a coffee shop to do your work.

Smile and look approachable. Groom yourself extra well. Women look at hair and face, hands/nails, and shoes. Top, middle, and bottom. If these things are good, and you look approachable and non-creepy, you can meet women by the dozen.

Also...lose the chip on your shoulder and air of desperation because it comes through no matter the communication medium. Girls can sense this in a second and it's No Bueno. And talk about their favorite subject...themselves. And you really don't have to talk...just LISTEN and they will think you are the best conversationalist EVER!!

GET OFF THE APPS. THEY ARE POISON.

Good luck!

Did I stumble onto the set of Dr Phil or did my father hop on E90?

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by geogerf

99%? Not at all. I’ve met several “good” girls on apps. They’re out there, they just probably more cautious to meet up, but you have to keep trying. It really is a number’s game.

The way I see it, it is just another avenue to meet people. Just like meeting in real life, except you can “meet” someone while your actually doing something else. Trick is to keep an open mind whichever method you use.

Edit: but fwiw for every good girl out there, there’s probably 10 fake, crazy, catfishing ones too. Just have to slog through it, it’s the journey anyway. Lol

This

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by smoosh

LMFAO You did EVERTHING wrong, guy

Don't be an idiot and listen to what these guys are telling you, they're spot on. First, she said she's "just working." Huge indicator that she isn't particularly enjoying her job. Then? The very next thing out of your god damn mouth is "OMG MEETING ME"...(aka "ME ME ME, everything's about me, I'm an offputting uninteresting egotistical fuck!"). Like cmon man! Don't ask about her miserable fucking job, ask her what's the one thing she can't live without, ask her what her favorite college drinking game was, or who she would fuck marry kill from three celebrities...anything but her fucking job!!!

Also, lose the "!" right off the bat, only use punctuation (other than period) ocassionally to make a point...

Also, she asks if you're bipolar, three texts in, and you insult her...SMFH

Because asking me if I'm bipolar is not insulting? C'mon dude. Get off your high horse.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Did I stumble onto the set of Dr Phil or did my father hop on E90?

Lol!
I'm probably old enough to be your dad and I understand how women work pretty well. The listening is important and I cannot overstate how important grooming is. Especially hands. Get a manicure because no woman wants you touching her tender bits with Freddy Krueger hands!!!

Have some freaking fun with it!!

[CTinline-six]

Originally Posted by smoosh

Meet people in real life. Not necessarily social settings in fact (social settings can actually sometimes put more pressure on meeting someone than not typical social settings), just anywhere. Elevators, local starbucks, chipotle line, gym, etc. once you have some in-person practice down, you'll never go on social dating apps again...

Great advice here.

I'm a fairly outgoing person, but college was very tough for me. I commuted to a large state university, with big lecture halls usually containing 400 or so students until senior year when classes were smaller. Meeting people was difficult, something I had never experienced before. I met a few friends through my campus job, but approaching people was tough and my friends from work were never in any of my classes. Eventually it had an impact on my personality, and instead of approaching new people and talking to them, I would just take the easy way out and keep to myself. It wasn't depression, I don't think, but certainly I noticed a change in myself, enough to where I went to the campus mental health center to talk with some people about it.

Looking back my counselor, a grad student with the program, was genius. She gave me homework assignments to reach out and talk to people I didn't know, and keep track of it and report back. It started out with simple things like asking a few people about homework assignments in class. And then it grew into meeting new people, going out on dates, studying with classmates, etc. The point is practice made it much easier and the conversations flowed a lot more smoothly afterward.

We live in a society where two people standing next to each other would rather text on their phones instead of talking to each other, which makes things difficult. However, it also makes the in-person experience more refreshing and positive when it does happen. If you approach a cute girl in a store and make her laugh, you just beat out anything the guys in those online dating messages said to her.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Lol!
I'm probably old enough to be your dad and I understand how women work pretty well. The listening is important and I cannot overstate how important grooming is. Especially hands. Get a manicure because no woman wants you touching her tender bits with Freddy Krueger hands!!!

Have some freaking fun with it!!

Thanks, I'm aware of these common sense things. I am not an idiot. Also, see my previous post where I am having fun with it. Hence this thread. Share some of the humor, but it seems to be lost on some guys here & they feel the need to try to school me. Knock it off.

[smoosh]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Because asking me if I'm bipolar is not insulting? C'mon dude. Get off your high horse.

Me...? On MY high horse...???

Hey man, we're all just trying to help you here. After reading through this thread, I'll be brutally honest with you, and I apologize for the forthcoming harshness, but god dammit someone needs to say it...

1. Your intro messages are absolutely horrendous. "Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey"...are you fucking kidding me with that shit? This is a HUGE indicator to us that you don't know how to attract women, which is fine, but just be real with yourself. And that shit was forreal too, not a joke to make us laugh...

2. The women you've matched with and subsequently got shut down from are objectively below 3.5s/10. Which, again, is fine, nothing against them, they are who they are. But the fact that you're getting short responses from THOSE women, getting shut down from chicks hanging in the bottom of the barrel on looks, is VERY alarming. You should be looking for ways to figure out why this is happening, and what you can do to correct it...This might have sounded mean towards those women, but it's truly not. They all have selfies as profile pics. One is overweight. These are correctable, unappealing things they haven't corrected for a reason...

3. Your responses of "bye, Felicia" and "youre an idiot" might be funny to us, but they indicate a lot insecurities on your part. That if something doesn't go as planned, instead of wiggling around it and finding a solution (like a mature adult who attracts beautiful, intelligent, worthy women would do), you insult/block/delete. This indicates you are very insecure about yourself and lack any confidence at all

4. Youre upwards of 35 you said? Give me a fucking break on the "I finna wanna focus on myself" shit. Truth is, youre over 35 and wondering why you cant meet a worthy woman. Be real with yourself. Your friends are off married with kids and youre chillen on plenty of fish and tinder and shit. As soon as you get real with yourself, *and commit yourself to improving your self-being,* only then will you find a woman who's everything you can imagine and more

Honesty man, i don't give a fuck about your life, truthfully. Hell, i dont even know who you were before today. Im just doing to you what the great OGs of this forum have done unto me that really took me to the next level in regards to women...

[smoosh]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

Thanks, I'm aware of these common sense things. I am not an idiot. Also, see my previous post where I am having fun with it. Hence this thread. Share some of the humor, but it seems to be lost on some guys here & they feel the need to try to school me. Knock it off.

Not buying the "I was just fuckin around" attitude you decided to take now...

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by smoosh

Not buying the "I was just fuckin around" attitude you decided to take now...

Not selling you anything. Have a good day.

[smoosh]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

Great advice here.

I'm a fairly outgoing person, but college was very tough for me. I commuted to a large state university, with big lecture halls usually containing 400 or so students until senior year when classes were smaller. Meeting people was difficult, something I had never experienced before. I met a few friends through my campus job, but approaching people was tough and my friends from work were never in any of my classes. Eventually it had an impact on my personality, and instead of approaching new people and talking to them, I would just take the easy way out and keep to myself. It wasn't depression, I don't think, but certainly I noticed a change in myself, enough to where I went to the campus mental health center to talk with some people about it.

Looking back my counselor, a grad student with the program, was genius. She gave me homework assignments to reach out and talk to people I didn't know, and keep track of it and report back. It started out with simple things like asking a few people about homework assignments in class. And then it grew into meeting new people, going out on dates, studying with classmates, etc. The point is practice made it much easier and the conversations flowed a lot more smoothly afterward.

We live in a society where two people standing next to each other would rather text on their phones instead of talking to each other, which makes things difficult. However, it also makes the in-person experience more refreshing and positive when it does happen. If you approach a cute girl in a store and make her laugh, you just beat out anything the guys in those online dating messages said to her.

Man, I swear you just wrote a biography about me. Pretty much same exact deal here. Started talking more and more to guys at the gym, at the Metro, etc., just starting up random convos with dudes to practice conversing and getting out of my bubble. Slowly translated to women., and dating/attracting women.

Last paragraph is so damn spot on...had to screenshot it! Well said, sir

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by smoosh

Me...? On MY high horse...???


2. The women you've matched with and subsequently got shut down from are objectively below 3.5s/10. Which, again, is fine, nothing against them, they are who they are. But the fact that you're getting short responses from THOSE women, getting shut down from chicks hanging in the bottom of the barrel on looks, is VERY alarming. You should be looking for ways to figure out why this is happening, and what you can do to correct it...This might have sounded mean towards those women, but it's truly not. They all have selfies as profile pics. One is overweight. These are correctable, unappealing things they haven't corrected for a reason...

Matched with? I'm just sending out random messages. It's a numbers game.

3. Your responses of "bye, Felicia" and "youre an idiot" might be funny to us, but they indicate a lot insecurities on your part. That if something doesn't go as planned, instead of wiggling around it and finding a solution (like a mature adult who attracts beautiful, intelligent, worthy women would do), you insult/block/delete. This indicates you are very insecure about yourself and lack any confidence at all

I'm sorry that I don't have time for bs. Instead, I'll try to be more like you and waste time talking to idiots. Oops, I am right now.

4. Youre upwards of 35 you said? Give me a fucking break on the "I finna wanna focus on myself" shit. Truth is, youre over 35 and wondering why you cant meet a worthy woman. Be real with yourself. Your friends are off married with kids and youre chillen on plenty of fish and tinder and shit. As soon as you get real with yourself, *and commit yourself to improving your self-being,* only then will you find a woman who's everything you can imagine and more

LOL WTF

Honesty man, i don't give a fuck about your life, truthfully. Hell, i dont even know who you were before today. Im just doing to you what the great OGs of this forum have done unto me that really took me to the next level in regards to women...

Stay Thirsty, my friends.

[Bups]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

I am going to assume, and hope, that you mean on her end. I clearly did nothing wrong.

You definitely handled that whole thing wrong. On every level pretty much.

[hooligan_G01]

I met my wife on Match.com, but that was 13 years ago.

I used the icebreaker route - one of my favorite movies/books is High Fidelity, so I gave her a personal Top 5 list and then asked her to respond in kind.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by hooligan_clt

I met my wife on Match.com, but that was 13 years ago.

I used the icebreaker route - one of my favorite movies/books is High Fidelity, so I gave her a personal Top 5 list and then asked her to respond in kind.

for a second...i thought it was clit

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Just raw doggin some randoms

[FD3S]

Originally Posted by bimmette

We did have the same topic in the past with girls participating.

I have the same complaint as most of you. People just show up looking different from their pics. Guys who claim to be fit but then show up with a beer gut... it's not the extra weight I care about, it's the deception that's annoying.

Online dating is 80% not the way you see them on the photos. It is logical since most people put the most beautiful and "photoshopped" photos. If we want the real deal then we should talk to each other in real life... Which unfortunately happens less and less often.

It would be really funny if we could see the same thread in a girly forum. Here is not the same thing. The girls you attend here are the elite

By the way nice work on your youtube channel.

[bimmette]

Originally Posted by FD3S

Online dating is 80% not the way you see them on the photos. It is logical since most people put the most beautiful and "photoshopped" photos. If we want the real deal then we should talk to each other in real life... Which unfortunately happens less and less often.

It would be really funny if we could see the same thread in a girly forum. Here is not the same thing. The girls you attend here are the elite

By the way nice work on your youtube channel.

Thanks!

[Mr.SugarSkulls]

Hit that shit raw, dawg.