New Ytest
Sign out
Bimmerpost
Login
BMW E39 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com
BMW Garage BMW Meets Register Today's Posts  
Go Back   BMW E39 5-Series Forum | 5Post.com > BIMMERPOST Universal Forums > Off-Topic Discussions Board

Post Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
      10-15-2014, 04:18 PM   #111
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
18405
Rep
9,422
Posts

 
Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

As the male ages, his flexibility declines. As the female ages, her D's elongate. Put the two together and the elder male can still reach the nipple while impaling the elder female. Hence the saying "I want to grow old with you"
Appreciate 0
      10-16-2014, 11:28 AM   #112
Sara
Lieutenant General
5867
Rep
17,879
Posts

 
Drives: A car
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nola

iTrader: (6)

I drive barefoot and there are probably 5 pairs of heels in the car.
Appreciate 0
      10-18-2014, 11:44 AM   #113
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7535
Rep
2,132
Posts

 
Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

I just ate a bowl of canned Hormel chili.
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      10-20-2014, 11:24 AM   #114
UncleWede
Long Time Admirer, First Time Owner
UncleWede's Avatar
United_States
18405
Rep
9,422
Posts

 
Drives: G01 X3 M40i Dark Graphite
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Oxnard, CA

iTrader: (0)

Dinty More Beef stew is my favorite canned food (simulated)
Appreciate 0
      10-20-2014, 05:42 PM   #115
MrPrena
Captain
MrPrena's Avatar
United_States
1590
Rep
803
Posts

 
Drives: BMW Hyundai Nissan
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: TB

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Billup View Post
B is for beautiful. I'm a B or C cup man, personally. D's are too much.


A perfect handful, is the best handful.
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS View Post
+1. D's, no matter what kind of bra a girl wears, sags faster than smaller cup sizes, and I like 'em perky and happy (same goes for the owner of said breasteses), not looking like they're depressed and staring at the floor (also goes for the owner)



That's f**king brilliant... Sterling BMW?
I would have to agree.
D's are fun to play with, but natural D's sags without bra. Played around with A,B,C,D,DD, on my youth year, and B,C are the best. D's are my 2nd choice.

However, I cannot decide my distant 3rd. Fat girl's natural DD or anorexic A cup.
__________________
Beware of Jeff Oliver the fraud at Highland Expedition Outfitters (aka HEO or HEOutfitters) located in Cosby TN.
Appreciate 0
      10-20-2014, 06:07 PM   #116
Billup
Banned
Burkina Faso
476
Rep
928
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by MrPrena View Post
I would have to agree.
D's are fun to play with, but natural D's sags without bra. Played around with A,B,C,D,DD, on my youth year, and B,C are the best. D's are my 2nd choice.

However, I cannot decide my distant 3rd. Fat girl's natural DD or anorexic A cup.
Anorexic a cup all day. Fat people gross me the fuck out.
Appreciate 0
      10-20-2014, 08:43 PM   #117
NEFARIOUS
Captain
NEFARIOUS's Avatar
United_States
435
Rep
686
Posts

 
Drives: 06 330xi (TRADED IN)
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Baconville, BN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
I just changed my boss' ringtone to "An idiot is attempting to reach you on your cellular device."

http://www.zedge.net/ringtone/1509418/
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
NEFARIOUS would totally rock the dreads if he could.
::THE MACHETE::
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2014, 12:51 AM   #118
Nkc
NOOB
Nkc's Avatar
Canada
1607
Rep
1,356
Posts

 
Drives: Cars
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: @BMWclassicdivision

iTrader: (0)

Anorexic C for me plz
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2014, 07:41 AM   #119
Billup
Banned
Burkina Faso
476
Rep
928
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nkc View Post
Anorexic C for me plz
That wasn't even on the list..., SIR
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2014, 09:38 AM   #120
ShopVac
Not willing to take advice
ShopVac's Avatar
No_Country
4608
Rep
1,575
Posts

 
Drives: F82 M4 - 6MT
Join Date: May 2010
Location: PA

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS View Post
I just changed my boss' ringtone to "An idiot is attempting to reach you on your cellular device."

http://www.zedge.net/ringtone/1509418/
LOL - my dad's ringtone is a specific Dennis Leary tune...which I could not duplicate for my boss.

So my boss has Dolly Parton's "9 to 5". Mainly because I couldn't find a song that was 10 to 3. Make's me chuckle when he calls me at 4PM from out of the office.
__________________
Proud owner of 4 Turbos and 1 Supercharger
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2014, 03:17 PM   #121
Sara
Lieutenant General
5867
Rep
17,879
Posts

 
Drives: A car
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nola

iTrader: (6)

I cheat with coupons. I have them sent to my work address and the same ones sent my home address.

That shit adds up! $20 off a case of formula instead of $10 is so worth it!
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2014, 09:14 PM   #122
NEFARIOUS
Captain
NEFARIOUS's Avatar
United_States
435
Rep
686
Posts

 
Drives: 06 330xi (TRADED IN)
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Baconville, BN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by ShopVac View Post
LOL - my dad's ringtone is a specific Dennis Leary tune...which I could not duplicate for my boss.

So my boss has Dolly Parton's "9 to 5". Mainly because I couldn't find a song that was 10 to 3. Make's me chuckle when he calls me at 4PM from out of the office.
The Asshole song? J/K I've a huge Leary fan since the days of No Cure for Cancer, and he does great with Rescue Me, especially since one of my good friend is actually a firefighter.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
NEFARIOUS would totally rock the dreads if he could.
::THE MACHETE::
Appreciate 0
      10-21-2014, 09:19 PM   #123
BayMoWe335
Colonel
1201
Rep
2,132
Posts

 
Drives: 2010 E92 335i 6MT
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: US

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
I was wearing a D and that was too small. Now that I'm 40 lbs lighter and not breast feeding anymore its down to a B
You are deflated and stretched out. No way those will ever look good again without implants and possibly a lift.

Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up.
Appreciate 1
      10-22-2014, 09:17 AM   #124
gtron
powerhouse
gtron's Avatar
United_States
734
Rep
1,628
Posts

 
Drives: 2014 Porsche 981 CS
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayMoWe335 View Post
You are deflated and stretched out. No way those will ever look good again without implants and possibly a lift.

Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up.
damn
__________________
no signature. except for this one.
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 09:22 AM   #125
gtron
powerhouse
gtron's Avatar
United_States
734
Rep
1,628
Posts

 
Drives: 2014 Porsche 981 CS
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEFARIOUS View Post
My friend's wife got a new phone and wanted me to help her set it up. I found emails with nudes sent to random guys and told him. We're still friends (although we have to hang out away from his wife) and he's so grateful that I exposed her that he even has me in his will, but I still feel bad for the impending divorce and the fate of their 6 year old daughter.
do you mind if i ask, why were you going through her emails? seems unethical and a violation of trust. not trying to offend, i'm just curious.
__________________
no signature. except for this one.
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 09:23 AM   #126
gtron
powerhouse
gtron's Avatar
United_States
734
Rep
1,628
Posts

 
Drives: 2014 Porsche 981 CS
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Orange County, CA

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrPrena View Post
Try mine.

1. I called regulatory agencies on my former companies before. They still don't know who did it.

2. I "legally" shorted one of the company I use to work with.

3. I secretly acted (legally and ethically) so that this small company will have a huge financial problem, and try to buy the company from general partners and the president. 4 years later, i sent them a proposal and they called me. It went down south so quick that I ended up give up on acquiring it.

Gosh, i am so evil...
remind me to never go into any business ventures with you.
__________________
no signature. except for this one.
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 09:42 AM   #127
Sara
Lieutenant General
5867
Rep
17,879
Posts

 
Drives: A car
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Nola

iTrader: (6)

Quote:
Originally Posted by BayMoWe335 View Post
You are deflated and stretched out. No way those will ever look good again without implants and possibly a lift.

Sorry, fact of life...dead beat hubby needs to hook you up.
They look fine!!
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 09:48 AM   #128
Billup
Banned
Burkina Faso
476
Rep
928
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

.... I stole the cookies from the cookie jar. I confess.
Appreciate 1
      10-22-2014, 09:51 AM   #129
upstatedoc
I'll get back to you
upstatedoc's Avatar
7535
Rep
2,132
Posts

 
Drives: blue streak
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: not downstate

iTrader: (2)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sara504 View Post
They look fine!!
This post is useless without..

Oh nevermind
__________________
2018 Stinger GT
2009 E90 N51 /Active Autowerke Stage 2 tune/BMW Performance Exhaust/
Countermeasure enthusiast.
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 09:57 AM   #130
Billup
Banned
Burkina Faso
476
Rep
928
Posts

 
Drives: Your mum crazy.
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Baconopolos Island

iTrader: (0)

Quote:
Originally Posted by upstatedoc View Post
This post is useless without..

Oh nevermind


Did your mother raise you to treat women on the internet like that? HMMM? DID SHE?
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 01:12 PM   #131
Templar
Lieutenant Colonel
Templar's Avatar
United_States
271
Rep
1,883
Posts

 
Drives: 2011 E92 M3
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: One of the coasts...

iTrader: (1)

Garage List
2011 BMW M3  [10.00]
__________________
'11 BMW E92 ///M3 - ZCP and DCT
'15 Ford F-250 - Lariat, 6.7 Powerstroke Turbo-diesel
Appreciate 0
      10-22-2014, 02:43 PM   #132
NEFARIOUS
Captain
NEFARIOUS's Avatar
United_States
435
Rep
686
Posts

 
Drives: 06 330xi (TRADED IN)
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Baconville, BN

iTrader: (0)

Garage List
Quote:
Originally Posted by gtron View Post
do you mind if i ask, why were you going through her emails? seems unethical and a violation of trust. not trying to offend, i'm just curious.
TLDR: Teaching her how to use new phone, saw message from adulterer, husband broke into account himself.

EXPANDED: She was transitioning from a no-name smartphone which didn't even have sync turned on to the Galaxy S3 (this was 2012), so she learned through me that she had push email... Then while demonstrating that feature, I accidentally opened an email from her adulterer and managed to catch a blurb about wanting her to sit on his face (glad I learned speed reading), but then she panicked and snatched the phone from me, then gave me a BS excuse. Since I heard somewhere it was taboo to tell someone that it someone is being cheated on, I just left it alone.

However, just as guilty conscience was starting to set in at the end of the week... Her husband, who is a firefighter, had to go on a rough call where a little child was covered in 3rd degree burns and invited me to the bar with him to drown it out, so after a few rounds he suddenly slurs out, "Ed, y'know another thing? I think [his wife's name] is fuckin' cheating on me, bro. I'm not sure, but I just have a gut feeling [telling me signs and observations]." Then while I was a bit buzzed too, I leaked out the aforementioned email, then the next morning he managed to figure out her password and we saw that she was sending nudes and messages to 6 guys for 2 years.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jtodd_fl View Post
NEFARIOUS would totally rock the dreads if he could.
::THE MACHETE::

Last edited by NEFARIOUS; 10-22-2014 at 03:39 PM.. Reason: While trying to condense the story, I accidentally erased the fact that we were at a bar.
Appreciate 0
Post Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 01:31 AM.




5post
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.11
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions Inc.
1Addicts.com, BIMMERPOST.com, E90Post.com, F30Post.com, M3Post.com, ZPost.com, 5Post.com, 6Post.com, 7Post.com, XBimmers.com logo and trademark are properties of BIMMERPOST