"Lazy" GF... How to motivate?

[thetastelingers]

Originally Posted by Lups

Oh for fucks sake don't tell me that! I'm like all approving you and vouching you in the ot society!

Yeah, the guys here listen to rnb or what ever and serenade their galls. You get my approval still even with balls but I was kinda happy to see a Judy (I'm dyslexic...) coming in and being so epically great.

Welcome Judy, you'll fit right in with all the rest of the handles I keep reading wrong.

Great. Meow all I see is Judy when I see his screen name.

[Emilime75]

Originally Posted by qba335i

How do you motivate your GFs/partners?...


...Example: She was traveling most of last week - came back home on Friday night. On Tuesday around 6pm I told her that by the time I get back from gym (9:30PM) she has to organize her clothes as they were all over the second bedroom and finally clean the receipts (she needs to submit them for reimbursement and they were on the table since Sunday). I also mentioned that it's a 4th day that she is on the couch and it would be nice if she finally signed up for gym... Fast forward a few days and she is still beyond pissed.

If this how you generally communicate with her, and think it's motivational, you've got some things to learn.

I, for one, would intentionally defy these types of demands from anyone not in a supervisory role...and you're not her boss. Even as a supervisor, motivating someone and stating deadlines can be achieved in a much more productive manner than just barking at them. Not to mention, some clothes and receipts not being put away are quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. You need to assess the entire relationship, including your role in it. Do you love this girl? Why? Are you a dick? Why? Be honest with yourself if you're truly looking for a way to "fix" what you feel is wrong, but, quite honestly, these are really minimal "offenses".

Also, a lack of motivation is often a sign of depression...not necessarily the slit my wrists type, but depression, none the less. There's also seasonal depression, I know I'm effected by it. I don't want to do shit when it's cold and miserable out and dark both going to and coming home from work. My Winters are spent on the couch binge watching everything on Netflix. Come spring, I'm out hiking, boating, swimming, going out, working on cars/projects...Netflix gets cancelled for a few months until fall rolls back around.

Just saying, this might not be "her problem", and/or it might be something she needs a little extra help with that doesn't involve barking orders and telling her she needs to join the gym(when did ever go over well with a female?).

[R3dliner]

She's a size zero and you're complaining about the gym LMAO. I think you got issues bud. Pretty lame asf.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Just_Jody

There ain't many female posters here, Judy, so I like to do my part and harras men when ever I can.

Wade knows I'm only after his wife's cooking recipes so this is not touchy feely at all even if I have asked him repeatedly if he could become such a troll she'd turn gay and marry me.

Totally pure motives there.

[KwlAznKid]

jesus christ, i was reading this thread and thinking about a lot of these problems are similar to the problems i have with my gf, then i see someone say judy and my heart skips a beat cause that's my gf's name, y'all making me go crazy today

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lups

There ain't many female posters here, Judy, so I like to do my part and harras men when ever I can.

Wade knows I'm only after his wife's cooking recipes so this is not touchy feely at all even if I have asked him repeatedly if he could become such a troll she'd turn gay and marry me.

Totally pure motives there.

As long as your motives are pure then I suppose that's acceptable.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by thetastelingers

Great. Meow all I see is Judy when I see his screen name.

We have like five female members here so I do what I can.

I actually thought she was a rock chick with pretty cool opinions. I even went so far as to quote a boy band song to her when I tried to let her know I appreciated having an other female around.

He is our Judy. He should fix his handle. The fucking horrible song I spent my teenage years avoiding is still playing in my head.

Originally Posted by wrickem

yeah, that may work in business, but not so much in a successful relationship.

I guess accountability only makes sense if you're getting paid for it.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Just_Jody

As long as your motives are pure then I suppose that's acceptable.

All I'm saying is that do not read the wade food posts. He always tells us what his wife cooked and after four years of reading those I'll be happy without a penis if I can get the food.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Lups

All I'm saying is that do not read the wade food posts. He always tells us what his wife cooked and after four years of reading those I'll be happy without a penis if I can get the food.

Since you aren't getting the food are you saying that you'd be happier with a penis?

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I would say she is far from unmotivated, it's just that her job is extremely demanding. She gets upset because she realizes it, but there probably isn't much she can change work-wise besides finding another job.

Right; so she's supposed to be "everything" to "everybody" at work, give 100% of herself to her career, but give nothing back to her SO? If work life was 100% the cause of this, she'd spend more time on LinkedIn and less time on Instagram.

You said it yourself; you weren't happy at your old job, which effected your home life. So what did you do to change that? YOU FOUND A NEW JOB!! And I'm sure a new one didn't just fall into your lap during endless hours behind an XBOX controller, etc.

Maintaining order and cleanliness is highly important to OP. How much of that is "normal" vs OCD is for anyone to judge, but again, there's balance to be had. At the end of the day though, when you're giving 90% and the other person doesn't budge an inch no matter how nice/nasty you try and explain it, things go down hill fast and it's much healthier to just go your separate ways at that point. Again, if OP was dating someone with an even remotely similar mindset, this thread wouldn't even exist.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by thetastelingers

Great. Meow all I see is Judy when I see his screen name.

Fixed

[1MOREMOD]

Originally Posted by R3dliner

She's a size zero and you're complaining about the gym LMAO. I think you got issues bud. Pretty lame asf.

Size zero doesn't mean in shape. Opposite actually can't have any muscle mass at that size.

[///M Power-Belgium]

Originally Posted by Lups

I think belgie is learning how to use his fingers better these days.

Negative Anna . It's my English ...It's getting better . Thanks to Bimmerpost and my job (American cliënt CommeScope)
But it's also this fucking country (Belgium) where I need 4 languages ..Flemish , French , German and English .

[Lups]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Since you aren't getting the food are you saying that you'd be happier with a penis?

I will until wade's wife takes me, but until then I have to stay married and cook mediocre versions of her recipes.

[thetastelingers]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Fixed

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

[///M Power-Belgium]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Size zero doesn't mean in shape. Opposite actually can't have any muscle mass at that size.

In the light weight category , the fitness models look pretty good .

[thetastelingers]

Originally Posted by Lups

I will until wade's wife takes me, but until then I have to stay married and cook mediocre versions of her recipes.

More Garlic and

[thetastelingers]

Originally Posted by Emilime75

If this how you generally communicate with her, and think it's motivational, you've got some things to learn.

I, for one, would intentionally defy these types of demands from anyone not in a supervisory role...and you're not her boss. Even as a supervisor, motivating someone and stating deadlines can be achieved in a much more productive manner than just barking at them. Not to mention, some clothes and receipts not being put away are quite trivial in the grand scheme of things. You need to assess the entire relationship, including your role in it. Do you love this girl? Why? Are you a dick? Why? Be honest with yourself if you're truly looking for a way to "fix" what you feel is wrong, but, quite honestly, these are really minimal "offenses".

Also, a lack of motivation is often a sign of depression...not necessarily the slit my wrists type, but depression, none the less. There's also seasonal depression, I know I'm effected by it. I don't want to do shit when it's cold and miserable out and dark both going to and coming home from work. My Winters are spent on the couch binge watching everything on Netflix. Come spring, I'm out hiking, boating, swimming, going out, working on cars/projects...Netflix gets cancelled for a few months until fall rolls back around.

Just saying, this might not be "her problem", and/or it might be something she needs a little extra help with that doesn't involve barking orders and telling her she needs to join the gym(when did ever go over well with a female?).

Good info in here too.
I gotta say, I didn't take what he wrote as literal, but if it was, maybe both of them have work to do.

[///M Power-Belgium]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Are you trying to set Judy up to be the next stalking victim for belgie???

Dude, who said that ?

[atmosphericM]

Can't believe I'm the first one...



But in all seriousness, it just sounds like one of two things. Either you guys just don't want the same things, or she is just going through a rough time and you need to be not only supportive, but patient. Life is a journey. Many people change many times as they travel through life. A relationship is a team that grows, changes, and thrives together. If you really love her and trust her deep, internal values, then maybe patience and understanding are in order. This is all of course based upon basically zero knowledge of the two of you on a personal level.

IMO it sounds like you're a bit of a dick, but again I don't know the back story. Is her working out something she has expressed interest in doing or is that something you are pushing on her? There is nothing wrong with not being a size 0 model, or being messy for that matter. To each his own. Just gotta find someone you are compatible with, typically, to have a good relationship.

Again, to be clear, I'm not judging you. But your OP definitely came off a bit dick-ish IMO.

[R3dliner]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Size zero doesn't mean in shape. Opposite actually can't have any muscle mass at that size.

Soooo what's your point? Most guys don't want their gf to go to gym for muscles(besides squats). Usually for weight loss