Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Sedan_Clan]

Originally Posted by Sara

Who was it that suggested I give surgeon a second chance?


What a difference a second date can make. After telling him no at first, he invited me to hang out with his friends yesterday. 4 bars and 1 restaurant later, it was a very nice time. He was actually talkative. His friends were great. Didn't think I'd be the only girl there, but hey.

There were a few of us that suggested you not jump to conclusions and give it another shot. I'm glad you did.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

I wonder if he picked up on your reaction last time and was trying to counter the disgust…? One does not just change eating habits to the other end of the spectrum overnight.

Or maybe he stays healthy a lot of the time, and just has cheat days occasionally...

[JP10]

Originally Posted by Sara

You know it's funny, everything he ordered at the restaurant was the most greasy, sugary, unhealthy shit lol. I did notice that he was a completely different person last night. The only thing he wouldn't take were the tequila shots his friends ordered at the bar.

Huge red flag, you always take your tequila shots, especially if they are paid for by someone else. Same principle as finishing everything on your plate - please kick this clown to the curb as soon as possible!!

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by JP10

Huge red flag, you always take your tequila shots, especially if they are paid for by someone else. Same principle as finishing everything on your plate - please kick this clown to the curb as soon as possible!!

LOL! I’m allergic so…

Originally Posted by Sara

In his defense, he had already ordered a different drink, he didn't ask for the tequila, we were at the 4th bar at that point and I think he was done for. They started before me, and I was drinking with them for 5+ hours.

I believe the above was facetious. That said, self control is a great thing. When is round 3?

[JP10]

Originally Posted by Sara

In his defense, he had already ordered a different drink, he didn't ask for the tequila, we were at the 4th bar at that point and I think he was done for. They started before me, and I was drinking with them for 5+ hours.

Haha yeah was just messing. I've been in similar scenarios and have regretted taking said tequila shots so I can't blame the guy. From a women's perspective it is a good mature move, from a guys perspective it is fair to call him a pansy until redeemed haha.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

I wonder if he picked up on your reaction last time and was trying to counter the disgust…? One does not just change eating habits to the other end of the spectrum overnight.

He was probably shaking in his boots being one-on-one for date #1, and more comfortable the second time with his friends around.....

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

He was probably shaking in his boots being one-on-one for date #1, and more comfortable the second time with his friends around.....

Especially after gaining context on the hours of liquid courage consumption.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

Or maybe he stays healthy a lot of the time, and just has cheat days occasionally...

That's how I roll

Also IIRC she was triggered with something to do with her ex over his question about sugary drinks. So odds are she is making more out of that interaction than was originally there.

[Sara]

Who else is dating? I can’t be the only one willing to share my boring life.

[ryan stewart]

Well I'm back in the saddle now I guess. The girl I have been dating seems to forget I'm not her ex or something.

Protip: remember new guy isn't old guy, try not to hold past things against him

Being said I'm in no rush, I'll see if anything happens for a bit

[Sara]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Well I'm back in the saddle now I guess. The girl I have been dating seems to forget I'm not her ex or something.

Protip: remember new guy isn't old guy, try not to hold past things against him

Being said I'm in no rush, I'll see if anything happens for a bit

You’re right.

[Chihuahua]

I moved to the Atlanta suburbs in October of 2019. The second weekend I was here, I struck up a convo at a bar with a guy who has ended up being my best friend here. We started talking about our lady situations. He's divorced, I had broken up with my girlfriend of 13 years. He gave me some advice that day, and man oh man was he right.

"This is a very insular community," he said. "No matter where you go, you will be seeing the same people over and over and over again. So be very careful about what you do and who you do it with, because if you're not it WILL come back to bite you."

We call it 'The Doctrine' and we live by it. There have been a couple of close calls, but we both do a pretty good job of adhering to The Doctrine and it has served us well.

Fast forward to October of 2020. My buddy and I are hanging out at a karoke bar. There are two women and a man there standing next to us. One of the women takes a liking to me (we'll call her Amy), so I casually started talking to her. Right off the bat I knew something wasn't right about her. I was involved with someone, so I wasn't really interested to begin with. Nevertheless, I remembered The Doctrine, and politely excused myself from the conversation. I sang my last song, and went home for the night.

Fast forward again to about a month ago. My buddy J, my other friend (we'll call him Van), and I were hanging out at a bar. J and I educated Van on The Doctrine, and why one should live by it. He mentioned he had met someone, and we soon realized it was the same Amy that I had met in October of 2020. We both advised him to heed The Doctrine, but it was of no use. As Dave Chappelle once said, "it's undefeated" (and we all know what 'it' is).

So our friend Van goes out with Amy. Amy ends up at his house after the first date. We then find out that within days of date number one Amy has now invited Van to go to a foreign country with her for a week. We tell him this is a terrible idea, and remind him of The Doctrine. But it's undefeated, and off he goes.

It is during this trip that Amy tells Van that her previous husband had been murdered. Obviously curious, my friend Van does a simple google search on Amy. As it turns out, Amy's husband was in fact murdered. Also, Amy was charged with conspiracy to murder, obstruction of justice, along with a few other charges. Apparently Amy was having an affair and the husband needed to go. Well he went alright, and she likely had something to do with it. She did several years of hard time, served her sentence, and was released. As I type this, she has yet to disclose this to him. If you were to meet 'Amy' today, you would suspect her of nothing more than being a typical working professional with typical home life. She apparently 'wants to talk' tonight.

Bullet = dodged. Thanks, The Doctrine.

How's that for a dating story?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I moved to the Atlanta suburbs in October of 2019. The second weekend I was here, I struck up a convo at a bar with a guy who has ended up being my best friend here. We started talking about our lady situations. He's divorced, I had broken up with my girlfriend of 13 years. He gave me some advice that day, and man oh man was he right.

"This is a very insular community," he said. "No matter where you go, you will be seeing the same people over and over and over again. So be very careful about what you do and who you do it with, because if you're not it WILL come back to bite you."

We call it 'The Doctrine' and we live by it. There have been a couple of close calls, but we both do a pretty good job of adhering to The Doctrine and it has served us well.

Fast forward to October of 2020. My buddy and I are hanging out at a karoke bar. There are two women and a man there standing next to us. One of the women takes a liking to me (we'll call her Amy), so I casually started talking to her. Right off the bat I knew something wasn't right about her. I remembered The Doctrine, and politely excused myself from the conversation. I sang my last song, and went home for the night.

Fast forward again to about a month ago. My buddy J, my other friend (we'll call him Van), and I were hanging out at a bar. J and I educated Van on The Doctrine, and why one should live by it. He mentioned he had met someone, and we soon realized it was the same Amy that I had met in October of 2020. We both advised him to heed The Doctrine, but it was of no use. As Dave Chappelle once said, "it's undefeated" (and we all know what 'it' is).

So our friend Van goes out with Amy. Amy ends up at his house after the first date. We then find out that within days of date number one Amy has now invited Van to go to a foreign country with her for a week. We tell him this is a terrible idea, and remind him of The Doctrine. But it's undefeated, and off he goes.

It is during this trip that Amy tells Van that her previous husband had been murdered. Obviously curious, my friend Van does a simple google search on Amy. As it turns out, Amy's husband was in fact murdered. Also, Amy was charged with conspiracy to murder, obstruction of justice, along with a few other charges. Apparently Amy was having an affair and the husband needed to go. Well he went alright, and she apparently had something to do with it. She did several years of hard time, served her sentence, and was released. As I type this, she has yet to disclose this to him. She apparently 'wants to talk' tonight.

How's that for a dating story?

Hm. The doctrine seems to be a killjoy though. If we all lived by the doctrine, there would be no fun and no stupid stories to tell people later. I tend to live life by the rule of: As long as it's in moderation, no one gets hurt and it doesn't conflict with my core values, go have fun.

I dated a girl a few years back. The first time she came to my house, she explained that we had to have a serious discussion. She was in a protection program. Apparently the ex, now in prison, tried to kill her several times. The last attempt was in the form of a car bomb. The car bomb incident happened while he was in prison. It was a little discerning to know that in order for her to come to my house, it required a full background check without my knowledge. I also had two unmarked black SUV's parked in my neighborhood anytime she came over. Needless to say, that didn't last very long. I think I've posted about this somewhere here before. Rather off-putting to know that people at the end of the street, are listening to everything going on inside my house.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by ryan stewart

Well I'm back in the saddle now I guess. The girl I have been dating seems to forget I'm not her ex or something.

Protip: remember new guy isn't old guy, try not to hold past things against him

Being said I'm in no rush, I'll see if anything happens for a bit

This is human nature. I see the meme all the time, something about "If you don't heal, something something something, you'll bleed on the person that didn't cut you." It's all bullshit. Why don't you touch a hot stove eye? Because at some point in your life you learned that it's hot and it will burn you. Same goes with people. I know my girlfriend isn't my ex, but don't think for a second that if she acts a particular way, that my mind doesn't instantly go to mentally checking tick boxes of what the issue might be. Don't take it personally. She'll most likely be this way with every guy now.

The girlfriend has yet to do anything that would make me feel like she is doing something wrong, still doesn't keep my mind from going there on occasion.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

Or maybe he stays healthy a lot of the time, and just has cheat days occasionally...

This. His fridge was all healthy shit.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

I moved to the Atlanta suburbs in October of 2019. The second weekend I was here, I struck up a convo at a bar with a guy who has ended up being my best friend here. We started talking about our lady situations. He's divorced, I had broken up with my girlfriend of 13 years. He gave me some advice that day, and man oh man was he right.

"This is a very insular community," he said. "No matter where you go, you will be seeing the same people over and over and over again. So be very careful about what you do and who you do it with, because if you're not it WILL come back to bite you."

We call it 'The Doctrine' and we live by it. There have been a couple of close calls, but we both do a pretty good job of adhering to The Doctrine and it has served us well.

Fast forward to October of 2020. My buddy and I are hanging out at a karoke bar. There are two women and a man there standing next to us. One of the women takes a liking to me (we'll call her Amy), so I casually started talking to her. Right off the bat I knew something wasn't right about her. I was involved with someone, so I wasn't really interested to begin with. Nevertheless, I remembered The Doctrine, and politely excused myself from the conversation. I sang my last song, and went home for the night.

Fast forward again to about a month ago. My buddy J, my other friend (we'll call him Van), and I were hanging out at a bar. J and I educated Van on The Doctrine, and why one should live by it. He mentioned he had met someone, and we soon realized it was the same Amy that I had met in October of 2020. We both advised him to heed The Doctrine, but it was of no use. As Dave Chappelle once said, "it's undefeated" (and we all know what 'it' is).

So our friend Van goes out with Amy. Amy ends up at his house after the first date. We then find out that within days of date number one Amy has now invited Van to go to a foreign country with her for a week. We tell him this is a terrible idea, and remind him of The Doctrine. But it's undefeated, and off he goes.

It is during this trip that Amy tells Van that her previous husband had been murdered. Obviously curious, my friend Van does a simple google search on Amy. As it turns out, Amy's husband was in fact murdered. Also, Amy was charged with conspiracy to murder, obstruction of justice, along with a few other charges. Apparently Amy was having an affair and the husband needed to go. Well he went alright, and she likely had something to do with it. She did several years of hard time, served her sentence, and was released. As I type this, she has yet to disclose this to him. If you were to meet 'Amy' today, you would suspect her of nothing more than being a typical working professional with typical home life. She apparently 'wants to talk' tonight.

Bullet = dodged. Thanks, The Doctrine.

How's that for a dating story?

Do you guys check on "Van" every day to make sure hes still alive?

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Hm. The doctrine seems to be a killjoy though. If we all lived by the doctrine, there would be no fun and no stupid stories to tell people later. I tend to live life by the rule of: As long as it's in moderation, no one gets hurt and it doesn't conflict with my core values, go have fun.

I dated a girl a few years back. The first time she came to my house, she explained that we had to have a serious discussion. She was in a protection program. Apparently the ex, now in prison, tried to kill her several times. The last attempt was in the form of a car bomb. The car bomb incident happened while he was in prison. It was a little discerning to know that in order for her to come to my house, it required a full background check without my knowledge. I also had two unmarked black SUV's parked in my neighborhood anytime she came over. Needless to say, that didn't last very long. I think I've posted about this somewhere here before. Rather off-putting to know that people at the end of the street, are listening to everything going on inside my house.

Yeah, that would def be a killjoy.

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Sara

This. His fridge was all healthy shit.

The dude is in the medical profession. I’ve found not often folks practice what they preach, this should be quite comforting. It’s a sign what you see is what you get and it’s consistent. Isn’t a tell all, but something to consider.

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

This is human nature. I see the meme all the time, something about "If you don't heal, something something something, you'll bleed on the person that didn't cut you." It's all bullshit. Why don't you touch a hot stove eye? Because at some point in your life you learned that it's hot and it will burn you. Same goes with people. I know my girlfriend isn't my ex, but don't think for a second that if she acts a particular way, that my mind doesn't instantly go to mentally checking tick boxes of what the issue might be. Don't take it personally. She'll most likely be this way with every guy now.

The girlfriend has yet to do anything that would make me feel like she is doing something wrong, still doesn't keep my mind from going there on occasion.

Oh word, I know. She is blowing me up now “never again” but I’m just kind of over it. She has a lot of other awesome qualities but a false accusation of cheating isn’t even a red flag to me, its a meatball (aka you’re on fire and get off the track ASAP). Not only does it piss me off for not being trusted but now I think “well, if she thinks I’m cheating then what happens when some dude throws himself at her?”

[ryan stewart]

Also if we’re sharing horror stories I could share the time I dated a married woman for almost 6 months without knowing it. That’s long ago and I’m not sure what could be learned from it other than “dont date a grown woman with a roommate.”

[Sara]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

The dude is in the medical profession. I’ve found not often folks practice what they preach, this should be quite comforting. It’s a sign what you see is what you get and it’s consistent. Isn’t a tell all, but something to consider.

My fridge looks similar (thank you Dash Diet ) but with dark chocolate. I prefer a healthy eater over, who doesn't criticize me, over someone who always eats like a child any day of the week

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by Sara

This. His fridge was all healthy shit.

So you've been to his house...?

[ryan stewart]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

The dude is in the medical profession. I’ve found not often folks practice what they preach, this should be quite comforting. It’s a sign what you see is what you get and it’s consistent. Isn’t a tell all, but something to consider.

Yeah this guy sounds like me. If I’m not in cheat mode I’m super particular about my diet. I can cut loose but its almost like penance, the days leading up to and the days after I’m trying to make up for it. When I do cheat I make it count though.

And when I’m training for something I really stick to it. Nothing worse than a triathlon with the beer shits.

Just because he is policing himself doesn’t mean he is gonna police you. Odds are your ex wasn’t a pillar of health, just a narcissist and controlling.