Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[cmyx6go]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

Thanks but I always try to ask/initiate convo's like this. I usually get one or two word replies, and have to try to keep the convo going. And they never ask anything, just reply with what I asked them.

In my opinion, if they don’t ask about you and only give one or two word replies to your questions they are self absorbed, it’s all about me girls. Not worth your time.

[IllSic_Design]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

In my opinion, if they don’t ask about you and only give one or two word replies to your questions they are self absorbed, it’s all about me girls. Not worth your time.

Yeah and I've noticed a lot are like that on dating apps, at least in the mid 20's - mid 30's range. A lot of them speak in their profile like you need to be a comedian to keep them interested also lol. Oh well, I'll keep on keepin on, find a decent one someday.
Also note I don't try and just ask everyone questions, I try to lead them into a conversation but it's so hard these days hahaa

[Sara]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

She'll be needing some of these.

Pick some up, Sara504!!

Those loubs look funny

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

dinonz

Gentlemen, here it goes:

Do you have a pet? What type? Do you have pictures?
Hair. Always ask about the hair.
What's the most interesting thing you've ever done?

If you genuinely like dogs, get one. This isn't as a prop but so many ladies love dogs. When I have Carrington and take him out and about, so many ladies ask about him and even take his picture.

Don't ask the questions if you aren't genuinely interested in people. It can come off as rather creepy.

Just remember this key: All you have to do is get anyone to speak quite liberally is to get them to speak about themselves.

As my dear friend and attorney says, "If you could pick horses as good as you pick-up women, we wouldn't have to ever work again!"

Edit: On addressing profiles, speak about eyes and smile, i.e., "I can tell by your eyes and smile that you have a kind spirit and good heart. It's really nice to still see that in someone after we've all had such a difficult 2020. What has been your secret to handling it all?" Bingo.

I do like dogs, and as of 5 months ago I have one - Jazz aka Miniature Murder Mutt. He's the sweetest little thing around me, but he hates everyone and everything. Will bark at every noise in the house, so when the wind blows and vents bang in the wind it's non stop barking. Hates people unless he knows them, but hates all kids and will eat them if given the chance. My friends teenagers are terrified of him. He has no fear - I've seen him rush up to a Rottweiler snarling and showing his teeth - he was in for the kill. Good thing the Rottweiler was placid and didn't touch him.

And no - he didn't learn that from me. He belonged to my friend, and she rescued him 5 years ago. She could no longer cope with him and was going to give him away, and given he absolutely loved me I said I'd take him in despite not really wanting a dog - lets face it, they're not Lamborghini friendly and this one was barely even house trained - I'm only just now getting him to pee and poop outside with some consistency.

So no, I'm not going to meet any ladies while taking him out anywhere because I can't take him anywhere - he's hostile and nasty.

Thing is - I could send a message like that, and not get a response. I would say my response rate is about 1 in 100. I saw on one profile that dating and applying for jobs are much the same thing, And they're right. After sending out 100s of applications and not even getting so much as a response, you kinda just give up. Clearly, you're not wanted...

[Sara]

Originally Posted by JP10

yikes

Originally Posted by King Rudi

That's strike 1, 2 and 3 in my opinion. Anyone who treats waiting staff with a lack of respect, gets none from me.

Originally Posted by aliiin

Looks like a potential red flag to me.

Originally Posted by MKSixer

Red Flag.

Treatment of waitstaff is at the top of my list to check for character flaws. How one treats someone dependent on them is crucial.

Huge Warning.

Originally Posted by rebekahb

I agree with all above comments. I don't look at that as macho but arrogant and a superiority vibe. That's disturbing and would give me pause.

Originally Posted by Joekerr

That's not macho. That's assholery. Now if the waiter had not apologized or took an attitude, I could see a disagreement starting, but that wasn't the case.

Originally Posted by UncleWede

I take mine back.

Now, if the waiter dropped it on SARA, then laughed, it would be time for the macho beat-down.

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Insecure.



Douche canoe.

Originally Posted by TiMSport

As everyone has already stated here, stay clear of a dude like that. I'll bet it's just the tip of the iceberg.

I guess macho wasn't the right word. At any rate, I felt it was out of line

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

I feel your pain on this Dinon, and don't have a solution. I am ok in the looks department, but I'm a total introvert and hate small talk, so I also i find it very hard to start the convo/keep it going if they aren't really saying much. I also find I'll try to get the convo going by asking about stuff in their profile/pictures or their interests, but usually get dry, few word responses and if I don't ask/say anything they don't keep the convo going, never ask me anything, etc.. Tough game for us dudes that aren't smooth talkers

Yeah - do you find though that after the 3rd or 4th meeting things are a lot easier? You know their family, their pets, their interests, their plans for the past x days - you immediately have things to talk about, and as mentioned most peoples favorite subject is themselves so if you can get them started you're golden.

Same with the initial conversation - some people are easier that others - they offer up things that help. Asking someone "how was your weekend?" and being told "it was ok" doesn't help. Being told "oh - went sailing with friends and..." now you can ask about their sailing and what they took out (if they even know).

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

If you genuinely like dogs, get one. This isn't as a prop but so many ladies love dogs. When I have Carrington and take him out and about, so many ladies ask about him and even take his picture.

I should rent my wife's dog out by the hour! He flirts his tail off around women, and I'm sure that he'd make the ultimate wing-man for a single guy.....

[IllSic_Design]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Yeah - do you find though that after the 3rd or 4th meeting things are a lot easier? You know their family, their pets, their interests, their plans for the past x days - you immediately have things to talk about, and as mentioned most peoples favorite subject is themselves so if you can get them started you're golden.

Same with the initial conversation - some people are easier that others - they offer up things that help. Asking someone "how was your weekend?" and being told "it was ok" doesn't help. Being told "oh - went sailing with friends and..." now you can ask about their sailing and what they took out (if they even know).

Yeah even though I'm an introvert it definitely is easier in person and definitely after meeting once or twice, convo's flow a lot easier/better.

I feel like most of the time in messages I am doing most/all the work, even trying to solicit more than the few word response. I eventually stop messaging after a few messages because I get discouraged and/or annoyed. I get we're playing the numbers game, it just becomes tiring when all of the people I message are lame a.f. or not interesting.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

"I can tell by your eyes and smile that you have a kind spirit and good heart. It's really nice to still see that in someone after we've all had such a difficult 2020. What has been your secret to handling it all?"

I've put your words to the test - someone WAY too hot for me came up on OK Cupid so I sent that message - I'll tell you if she responds!

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

Yeah even though I'm an introvert it definitely is easier in person and definitely after meeting once or twice, convo's flow a lot easier/better.

I feel like most of the time in messages I am doing most/all the work, even trying to solicit more than the few word response. I eventually stop messaging after a few messages because I get discouraged and/or annoyed. I get we're playing the numbers game, it just becomes tiring when all of the people I message are lame a.f. or not interesting.

Some women expect to be charmed and swept off their feet - and then bitch when you turn out to be a player/fuck boy. Some even state on their profile that you have to be able to make them laugh - with a lot of people that's not hard but if they have to state it you're in trouble. Almost as bad as those people who "love to laugh and have fun" because I fucking hate doing that - who the hell wants to laugh and have fun? Weirdos.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I've put your words to the test - someone WAY too hot for me came up on OK Cupid so I sent that message - I'll tell you if she responds!

That's the spirit!!

Don't give a crap and they will come!!

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

That's the spirit!!

Don't give a crap and they will come!!

I expect this will be as exciting as watching paint dry

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I expect this will be as exciting as watching paint dry

Depending on the paint is used for...

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

That's the spirit!!

Don't give a crap and they will come!!

Didn't take as long as I expected!

"Thank you"

Polite, didn't answer the obvious question, and at best is a "go away".

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Didn't take as long as I expected!

"Thank you"

Polite, didn't answer the obvious question, and at best is a "go away".

Dino, again, I've got nothing but love for you.....but I'll be damned if you aren't the most negative sounding person on here. I know girls (attractive girls even) who sleep with guys that don't have jobs, missing teeth, live with their parents while not having a job and no teeth. What gets them dates (and laid) is their personality. Brother I think you spend too much time coming up with reasons as to "why not."

I think you just need to change your mindset. Throughout this thread, I see your posts, then I see people offer advice, then I see you tell people how that won't work. I'll say this, if I'm interviewing candidates for a position and I have someone tell me what I want done won't work, I'm open and I'll listen (just in case I missed something and this person may know more than I do). If I continue to see other people accomplish what I want done, and this one person is telling me it can't be done; I'll hire a different candidate. Just food for thought man.

Those of us trying to offer solutions, aren't here to try to make you feel any certain way, we are just trying to help by sharing what worked for us. I feel like the negativity expressed here may be oozing from your pores in general. Women pick up on this and zero in on it. Get confident sir. You have all the makings to do so. Everything else will come easy.

Case in point. I'm not what one would a very attractive person, maybe I'm wrong, but it's just not how I see myself. I used to weight 240, I now weigh 140 but still not chiseled looking (but I'm still working on it), I'm bald (shaven) because I started losing my hair a few years ago (rather than hide it or cover it - I embraced it), I'm covered in 20 year old tattoos (used to be a tattoo artist - so yeah the former bad boy thing works for me), on top of this, I'm 44 and starting to show my age. The point of saying all this? Women still flirt with me, and often. I catch girls half my age checking me out at the gym. My girlfriend looks like she's in her 20's. How? I'm confident in who I am and I'm told it exudes from me. To me, I'm just some 40-something year old, bald guy, with old tattoos, who stays stressed out. The people around me see me in a different light apparently. It's not about what you look like, what you have to offer, etc.; it's your personality that attracts people. Some of the ugliest and dumbest damn people I have ever met have smoking hot girlfriends or wives. Why? Because they were able to make their significant other feel comfortable around them.

Now! Reply to the "Thank you" message with a simple "You are quite welcome. How are things working out for you on (insert dating app name here)?" Things aren't going too well on said dating app or she wouldn't still be on there, unless she's just a slut and wants attention. If that's the case, ask her out, have some pointless sex and up that confidence level. Create a simple, yet entertaining conversation with her. She replied. That's a huge thing on app dating. If nothing else, it's a new personality to learn and gain experience from. The world is full of pearls sir, you just have to dive a little.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Didn't take as long as I expected!

"Thank you"

Polite, didn't answer the obvious question, and at best is a "go away".

Then say, "You're welcome...how was your day?"

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Dino, again, I've got nothing but love for you.....but I'll be damned if you aren't the most negative sounding person on here. I know girls (attractive girls even) who sleep with guys that don't have jobs, missing teeth, live with their parents while not having a job and no teeth. What gets them dates (and laid) is their personality. Brother I think you spend too much time coming up with reasons as to "why not."

I think you just need to change your mindset. Throughout this thread, I see your posts, then I see people offer advice, then I see you tell people how that won't work. I'll say this, if I'm interviewing candidates for a position and I have someone tell me what I want done won't work, I'm open and I'll listen (just in case I missed something and this person may know more than I do). If I continue to see other people accomplish what I want done, and this one person is telling me it can't be done; I'll hire a different candidate. Just food for thought man.

Those of us trying to offer solutions, aren't here to try to make you feel any certain way, we are just trying to help by sharing what worked for us. I feel like the negativity expressed here may be oozing from your pores in general. Women pick up on this and zero in on it. Get confident sir. You have all the makings to do so. Everything else will come easy.

Case in point. I'm not what one would a very attractive person, maybe I'm wrong, but it's just not how I see myself. I used to weight 240, I now weigh 140 but still not chiseled looking (but I'm still working on it), I'm bald (shaven) because I started losing my hair a few years ago (rather than hide it or cover it - I embraced it), I'm covered in 20 year old tattoos (used to be a tattoo artist - so yeah the former bad boy thing works for me), on top of this, I'm 44 and starting to show my age. The point of saying all this? Women still flirt with me, and often. I catch girls half my age checking me out at the gym. My girlfriend looks like she's in her 20's. How? I'm confident in who I am and I'm told it exudes from me. To me, I'm just some 40-something year old, bald guy, with old tattoos, who stays stressed out. The people around me see me in a different light apparently. It's not about what you look like, what you have to offer, etc.; it's your personality that attracts people. Some of the ugliest and dumbest damn people I have ever met have smoking hot girlfriends or wives. Why? Because they were able to make their significant other feel comfortable around them.

Now! Reply to the "Thank you" message with a simple "You are quite welcome. How are things working out for you on (insert dating app name here)?" Things aren't going too well on said dating app or she wouldn't still be on there, unless she's just a slut and wants attention. If that's the case, ask her out, have some pointless sex and up that confidence level. Create a simple, yet entertaining conversation with her. She replied. That's a huge thing on app dating. If nothing else, it's a new personality to learn and gain experience from. The world is full of pearls sir, you just have to dive a little.

Great minds think alike! You nailed it with this!!

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by King Rudi

Dino, again, I've got nothing but love for you.....but I'll be damned if you aren't the most negative sounding person on here. I know girls (attractive girls even) who sleep with guys that don't have jobs, missing teeth, live with their parents while not having a job and no teeth. What gets them dates (and laid) is their personality. Brother I think you spend too much time coming up with reasons as to "why not."

I think you just need to change your mindset. Throughout this thread, I see your posts, then I see people offer advice, then I see you tell people how that won't work. I'll say this, if I'm interviewing candidates for a position and I have someone tell me what I want done won't work, I'm open and I'll listen (just in case I missed something and this person may know more than I do). If I continue to see other people accomplish what I want done, and this one person is telling me it can't be done; I'll hire a different candidate. Just food for thought man.

Those of us trying to offer solutions, aren't here to try to make you feel any certain way, we are just trying to help by sharing what worked for us. I feel like the negativity expressed here may be oozing from your pores in general. Women pick up on this and zero in on it. Get confident sir. You have all the makings to do so. Everything else will come easy.

Case in point. I'm not what one would a very attractive person, maybe I'm wrong, but it's just not how I see myself. I used to weight 240, I now weigh 140 but still not chiseled looking (but I'm still working on it), I'm bald (shaven) because I started losing my hair a few years ago (rather than hide it or cover it - I embraced it), I'm covered in 20 year old tattoos (used to be a tattoo artist - so yeah the former bad boy thing works for me), on top of this, I'm 44 and starting to show my age. The point of saying all this? Women still flirt with me, and often. I catch girls half my age checking me out at the gym. My girlfriend looks like she's in her 20's. How? I'm confident in who I am and I'm told it exudes from me. To me, I'm just some 40-something year old, bald guy, with old tattoos, who stays stressed out. The people around me see me in a different light apparently. It's not about what you look like, what you have to offer, etc.; it's your personality that attracts people. Some of the ugliest and dumbest damn people I have ever met have smoking hot girlfriends or wives. Why? Because they were able to make their significant other feel comfortable around them.

Now! Reply to the "Thank you" message with a simple "You are quite welcome. How are things working out for you on (insert dating app name here)?" Things aren't going too well on said dating app or she wouldn't still be on there, unless she's just a slut and wants attention. If that's the case, ask her out, have some pointless sex and up that confidence level. Create a simple, yet entertaining conversation with her. She replied. That's a huge thing on app dating. If nothing else, it's a new personality to learn and gain experience from. The world is full of pearls sir, you just have to dive a little.

I can't reply - she's un-matched me already. I have to go try to title the Diablo - that's the easiest one after Covid and Snowpocalypse - I'll digest the rest when I get back.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by dinonz

I can't reply - she's un-matched me already. I have to go try to title the Diablo - that's the easiest one after Covid and Snowpocalypse - I'll digest the rest when I get back.

Move on to the next one!

[Turkish Pickle]

Either I'm too much of a douche, or there's a very obvious different in tactness for dating between generations. Both are equally plausible, I am a self aware douche.

I'd NEVER say anything like that, because I wouldn't get a reply from girls my age.

My most succesful tinder bio was something along the lines of "looking to trade my dad's money for a green card". I'll have to dig a bit because I haven't been on anything for the good part of a year now but not giving a single crap on what anyone thinks of you is EXTREMELY liberating.

Am I proud to be a douche? No, not really; it's a facade more than anything. But that seemed like the rules of the game so I just played along

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Either I'm too much of a douche, or there's a very obvious different in tactness for dating between generations. Both are equally plausible, I am a self aware douche.

So, you know your market. dinoz I think is NOT of your generation, and probably not targeting the same demographics as you. That's why those old geezers Rudy and MK are trying to help him

SHOTS FIRED

[Tambohamilton]

+1, pickle. I'm not any sort of player - definitely awkward and introverted - playing a bit daft definitely seemed to grease the wheels of conversation. Not stupidity, but just not serious and definitely not chat up lines.

Also we'll said Rudi