Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[IllSic_Design]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Ever heard of someone in an abusive relationship, and when you tell them to leave they don't? "Oh - I wouldn't stay - I'd be gone..." you retort.

What that tends to indicate is that there's way more to it than you can possibly understand. "Oh - if my boyfriend hit me I'd leave him in and instant" and yet many don't. Why? Because it's not as black and white and disconnected as it is for you on the outside.

Did you know I'm friends with their parents? Both sides - mom and dad and their new marital partners. And their sisters. I've met their aunts. Grandparents. I have had them stay in my house.

But hey - it's all good. We know if a friend wasn't 100% polite to you you'd cut them off and never speak to them again in an instant, and it would be clean and precise and ninjas would respect you forever for your precision. Because you're perfect.

EDIT: Did you delete your post or did it get removed?

I deleted it because I knew you would just take it as an attack or try to attack me.. case in point

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

I deleted it because I knew you would just take it as an attack or try to attack me.. case in point

So you realized it was just another ill-informed ignorant response?

[IllSic_Design]

No, not at all actually.

Lmao, your panties are sure in a bunch after JP's comment. You seem to have such thin skin on here for someone who seems to have the thickest skin ever with their "friends" who treat them like shit, or so it would seem from how you talk about them on a public forum. Every women you've ever mentioned on this forum seems to treat you like shit or take advantage, including your detailer friend. If that's not the case, you might want to speak of them in a different tone/way.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

No, not at all actually.

Well, it was. It was a thinly veiled antagonistic response and you know it, but you're not man enough to admit it.

As for the rest of your crap, I can't even be bothered.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by dinonz

All I can say is I hope I never meet you, because you're a fucking piece of shit.

What you're basically saying is that because I don't dress nicely I deserve to be treated poorly in my own home.

Fuck you. Fuck you and everything you stand for.

Dude no he did not say that at all

How is asking if someone has Spotify being demanding I don't understand maybe I missed something glancing over the last few pages. Just give them your phone and tell them to take care of it making a playlist shouldn't trouble anyone this much.

He may have worded it better, sure, but... he kinda has a point. Especially with relationships you get out what you put in. I'm going to sound bipolar after my last post but I had a good few days to think that through. Now that I'm back in IL and she's in CA and it's been barely a day apart I realize how small of an annoyance it was. She's definitely been putting in more than I have and as much as it'd hurt I'd fully understand if I was forced to be alone again.

Same goes for your career - you work(ed?) your ass off, and now are living the good life. But I'm sure you know without doing so you wouldn't have a Countach (among many other cars I don't even remember lol). So why shouldn't the same principle apply in dating?

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Dude no he did not say that at all

How is asking if someone has Spotify being demanding I don't understand maybe I missed something glancing over the last few pages. Just give them your phone and tell them to take care of it making a playlist shouldn't trouble anyone this much.

Ah - such a cute millennial Pickle - I don't have Spotify. I do not have my phone connected to the home entertainment system other than having the Savant app to control it. There is no fast forward on the Jukebox, nor on the TuneIn app on Savant we used to listen to the radio. There is no "pick a song nor playlist" app on the audio system. The sources are fixed and hard wired to the back of the receiver.

But that isn't and wasn't my point. I don't go to someone's house and say "oh - I don't like this music - change it". "Turn that light off - it's too bright". "Can you shut your dog in your room - he barks too much". And if you ever came to visit me I hope you wouldn't behave that way either. I have respect for other people and their choices and preferences. If you choose to smoke inside your house, I'd respect that until the point where I have to excuse myself to go outside and breathe - I won't tell you "don't smoke inside - I hate smoke". I might ask "hey - could we go outside while you smoke as I'm allergic to it" but I won't make demands. There's a line between being respectful and "can we turn the music down a bit - it's hurting my ears" and "We need a new source of music as your choices don't suit me".

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

He may have worded it better, sure, but... he kinda has a point. Especially with relationships you get out what you put in. I'm going to sound bipolar after my last post but I had a good few days to think that through. Now that I'm back in IL and she's in CA and it's been barely a day apart I realize how small of an annoyance it was. She's definitely been putting in more than I have and as much as it'd hurt I'd fully understand if I was forced to be alone again.

No - he doesn't have a point. My friends treat me like that because they feel completely free around me, which sadly means they feel they get to be too demanding in my view, but I overlook it because one is recovering from a brain tumor, and one is still recovering from a car accident that saw her get CRPS (look it up), and right now has 4 herniated disks in her back, as well as vertigo, endometriosis, and tinnitus. My detailer suffers from narcolepsy, cataplexy, and insomnia to boot. That can fuck people up royally, which is why I give them a lot of leeway.

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Same goes for your career - you work(ed?) your ass off, and now are living the good life. But I'm sure you know without doing so you wouldn't have a Countach (among many other cars I don't even remember lol). So why shouldn't the same principle apply in dating?

Because my career I had confidence in what I was doing and knew I could succeed. I do not have the same personal confidence, but I'm also burned out. I'm tired and run down. I see how demanding my friends are and wonder "why bother work hard on me to be stuck with someone like that". For all I know all women are like that in the US. But because I brought up how these 2 friends treated me, I get told I don't deserve any better.

What do you think Pickle? Even if I don't go work out, lose 100 lbs, and dress better - do you think I "don't deserve any better" or was it just an asshole thing to say?

[IllSic_Design]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Because my career I had confidence in what I was doing and knew I could succeed. I do not have the same personal confidence, but I'm also burned out. I'm tired and run down. I see how demanding my friends are and wonder "why bother work hard on me to be stuck with someone like that". For all I know all women are like that in the US. But because I brought up how these 2 friends treated me, I get told I don't deserve any better.

What do you think Pickle? Even if I don't go work out, lose 100 lbs, and dress better - do you think I "don't deserve any better" or was it just an asshole thing to say?

You're totally taking it out of context and putting more into it than what he meant. He(JP10, I saw his whole post also) was saying you don't deserve better IF you are not putting in the work. It all hinged on the IF... IF you're not putting in the work on yourself personally, through a healthy lifestyle and whatever else and by the way you present yourself(in your own words you haven't done much upkeep on your appearance or worked on improving it(yet as you have said) then you're not going to get/obtain out of it what you are seeking.

[dinonz]

Originally Posted by IllSic_Design

You're totally taking it out of context and putting more into it than what he meant. He(JP10, I saw his whole post also) was saying you don't deserve better IF you are not putting in the work. It all hinged on the IF... IF you're not putting in the work on yourself personally, through a healthy lifestyle and whatever else and by the way you present yourself(in your own words you haven't done much upkeep on your appearance or worked on improving it(yet as you have said) then you're not going to get/obtain out of it what you are seeking.

You have a very kind way of reading his post. His first words were:

I saw MK say you deserve better, but I highly doubt that.

No if there. No ifs buts nor maybes. He straight out said he doesn't think I deserve better. He continues...

Those that don't want to put effort into relationships, or even physical appearance to better chances, don't deserve better.

Remember, I was commenting on how my friends treated me, not potential relationship material. Wasn't trying to date them, don't want to date either despite them wanting to date me. Was just my reflecting how friends behaved around me, and expressing that I didn't want to date if that's what women are like.

How did that become me not deserving better?

Funny thing is there's probably 2 groups of people out there looking at each other. Those who work on their appearance and score the hot chick look at those with money and think "you lucky bastard". And those with money look at those with the hot chick and think "you lucky bastard" and neither realizes the sacrifice made to achieve that.

And then there's the other group with money and the hot chick, and she's no doubt looking at the happy women thinking "you lucky bitch".

[lydia381]

Oh my worst date immediately ended when he said he didnt like BMW!! dealbreaker #1

[Sara]

Whoa, what the heck happened in here.....

[Joekerr]

One word - Thunderdome.

But as a spectator, it made for excellent viewing. I diverted a few minutes here and there between COD games last night to check the latest salvo, because I figured it would all be deleted by morning and didn't want to miss out.

[JP10]

Originally Posted by dinonz

All I can say is I hope I never meet you, because you're a fucking piece of shit.

What you're basically saying is that because I don't dress nicely I deserve to be treated poorly in my own home.

Fuck you. Fuck you and everything you stand for.

lmao

[Shiza]

.

[MKSixer]

No one deserves to be treated poorly.

No one deserves to be used.

No one should be ridiculed for their outward appearance.

Life is hard enough on a day-to-day basis without any of the above. Piling onto people is just bad form. Offer constructive criticism or just stay out of it.

If people want to fight, come on over to the racing threads and we can all have a go about Verstappen vs. Sir Lewis!!

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Whoa, what the heck happened in here.....

It's a day that ends in Y. Normal BP shenanigans. That is all.

[M5Rick]

Originally Posted by MKSixer

No one deserves to be treated poorly.

No one deserves to be used.

No one should be ridiculed for their outward appearance.

Life is hard enough on a day-to-day basis without any of the above. Piling onto people is just bad form. Offer constructive criticism or just stay out of it.

If people want to fight, come on over to the racing threads and we can all have a go about Verstappen vs. Sir Lewis!!

Oh we will have pleasure in doing battle with you friend as concerns RB vs Merc but difference there is we do watch our P's and Q's

[UncleWede]

Wait, was anyone DQd?


Make the chili

[King Rudi]

I don't log in for one day and look what happens.....JuSt LoOk At It!!!

Wow....I don't think I've ever seen the likes of an online bar fight before. I'm almost scared to post anything out of fear of receiving an online punch in the mouth.

Dino, I've got nothing but love for you my man. Seems like most in here are the same. I'm not sure what to say beyond that.

I feel like the light has been cast in a different direction here. Someone should just turn the light off.

[Tambohamilton]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

Wait, was anyone DQd?


Make the chili

No, but I retired early when I remembered not to try fixing people...

[Sara]

Back on topic..in the Off Topic,.... I have a date, this weekend!





He better not fuck this up.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by dinonz

Ah - such a cute millennial Pickle - I don't have Spotify. I do not have my phone connected to the home entertainment system other than having the Savant app to control it. There is no fast forward on the Jukebox, nor on the TuneIn app on Savant we used to listen to the radio. There is no "pick a song nor playlist" app on the audio system. The sources are fixed and hard wired to the back of the receiver.

But that isn't and wasn't my point. I don't go to someone's house and say "oh - I don't like this music - change it". "Turn that light off - it's too bright". "Can you shut your dog in your room - he barks too much". And if you ever came to visit me I hope you wouldn't behave that way either. I have respect for other people and their choices and preferences. If you choose to smoke inside your house, I'd respect that until the point where I have to excuse myself to go outside and breathe - I won't tell you "don't smoke inside - I hate smoke". I might ask "hey - could we go outside while you smoke as I'm allergic to it" but I won't make demands. There's a line between being respectful and "can we turn the music down a bit - it's hurting my ears" and "We need a new source of music as your choices don't suit me".



No - he doesn't have a point. My friends treat me like that because they feel completely free around me, which sadly means they feel they get to be too demanding in my view, but I overlook it because one is recovering from a brain tumor, and one is still recovering from a car accident that saw her get CRPS (look it up), and right now has 4 herniated disks in her back, as well as vertigo, endometriosis, and tinnitus. My detailer suffers from narcolepsy, cataplexy, and insomnia to boot. That can fuck people up royally, which is why I give them a lot of leeway.



Because my career I had confidence in what I was doing and knew I could succeed. I do not have the same personal confidence, but I'm also burned out. I'm tired and run down. I see how demanding my friends are and wonder "why bother work hard on me to be stuck with someone like that". For all I know all women are like that in the US. But because I brought up how these 2 friends treated me, I get told I don't deserve any better.

What do you think Pickle? Even if I don't go work out, lose 100 lbs, and dress better - do you think I "don't deserve any better" or was it just an asshole thing to say?

Okay I see what you mean - I wouldn't make a fuss about the lights or the music. I wouldn't explicitly say lock your dog in the room but if your dog is annoying we'll only meet up without him/her (I just don't like dogs that much)

And right there's a way to say/do all the things you've said it's all about the tone. None of us were there so it's hard to comment. Your first post came off as if they were demanding rather than requesting.

There are lots of women who are stuck up and self-absorbed, there's a very solid reason I've "outsourced" my girlfriend from another state. But in terms of demanding friends I'm going to have to disagree with you solely on the basis of there are people who can be good friends who aren't demanding whatsoever. I also don't think it's really "right" to generalize in that way, just because Kraft mac and cheese is shit doesn't mean all mac and cheese are shit. I love it when it's baked in the oven.

Lastly: Deserve isn't the right word imo. But I understand his point to an extent. None of us here obviously can know the depth of your friendship with the persons recovering from a brain tumor or a horrible car accident. I personally wouldn't take care of anyone except my 3 closest friends, the guys who are basically family to me. One time I remember my dad needed something and I asked him to go help him out - for him anything goes. For most anyone other than that? I probably wouldn't go to the depths you've gone. I doubt many others would, either.

I want to be an optimist and assume that's kind of where he was coming from. Without knowing you guys' friendship it comes off as a wealthy dude being taken advantage of. So when you combine all of your external things (not working out, 100lb, dressing up etc), throw in the mix that it comes off as you're being taken for a ride, it's not hard to make the link and make a judgement on the things we 1- know (only through a forum), 2- can judge.

tldr: I don't think you don't "deserve any better". I understand you're tired and burnt out, I'm in a similar way with my career. I've decided to suck up my current job for a year or so before I start jumping around even though during my internship I had made my mind up I was done with the company. But I also know the more I don't do anything about it and talk about how much it sucks I'd understand if those not close to me could see me just complain with no efforts being made towards bettering my career.

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by Sara504

Back on topic..in the Off Topic,.... I have a date, this weekend!





He better not fuck this up.

Is he planning it or you? Do you need an escape plan?