Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Sara504

... I texted Mr. Fuckboy, who used a 2016 photo of himself come to "rescue us." He showed up and I will not be reaching out to him again. Not my cup of tea.

You caved. I thought you had already written this one off. Why did you do this? Don't cave.

Oh well. I tried. I can't seem to get it right on the apps or let it happen organically.

Patience is a virtue.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

You caved. I thought you had already written this one off. Why did you do this? Don't cave.


Patience is a virtue.

I didn't cave. How did I cave? I didn't know he was a fuckboy until our in person encounter at the bar.

He had gorgeous photos on his profile and was very charming and sweet in text messages. Decided I wanted to meet him and have him scare off all the other guys that flocked us at the bar. Turns out he was way too aggressive for my taste.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I didn't cave. How did I cave? I didn't know he was a fuckboy until our in person encounter at the bar.

He had gorgeous photos on his profile and was very charming and sweet in text messages. Decided I wanted to meet him and have him scare off all the other guys that flocked us at the bar. Turns out he was way too aggressive for my taste.

Maybe I have this person confused with someone else that you had mentioned previously.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Sara504

I didn't cave. How did I cave? I didn't know he was a fuckboy until our in person encounter at the bar.

He had gorgeous photos on his profile and was very charming and sweet in text messages. Decided I wanted to meet him and have him scare off all the other guys that flocked us at the bar. Turns out he was way too aggressive for my taste.

what did fuckboi do that was aggressive?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

what did fuckboi do that was aggressive?

Curious as well. How was the sweet, good looking guy that was supposed to scare off other guys too aggressive? Am I the only man here laughing at this? You wanted someone to scare off other suitors and he was too aggressive.

Dirty shoe rule. If another mans shoes are dirtier than yours, good rule of thumb is that he can most likely kick your ass. If I pick a fight wearing a brand new pristine pair of air force one's with a guy wearing mud covered work boots, I'm going to the ER soon after.

First, most men who are sweet and good looking aren't going to scare another man. Just facts. You want a man that will scare other men away? Swipe right on some of the rejects that you discuss on here; they will scare other people away. Dr.s, Lawers, men in suits, clean cut guys......typically are not physically equipped to defend themselves unless they have studied how to fight....other men pick up on this instantly. Men who are typically aggressive with women are not aggressive in reality at all.

[Tommy-G]

If I was trying to scare off other guys, I'm walking in grabbing your butt and planting a kiss on you/her

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Chihuahua

Maybe I have this person confused with someone else that you had mentioned previously.

Oh yes. This guy at the bar was somebody else.

[Tambohamilton]

When was the last time someone here was so mobbed by girls at a bar, that they had to call in female backup?

[Sara]

Originally Posted by TommyG-inFlaNow

If I was trying to scare off other guys, I'm walking in grabbing your butt and planting a kiss on you/her

This. It was fine and flirty at first, but then it's like okay, stop the acting, they left. It was too much for me. You're suddenly not as attractive to me anymore as you're not being a gentleman. Know when to stop and try to get to know me for who I am. Saying how sexy I am over and over gets super old. It just confirms to me you’re a fuckboy. Sorry, next.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

When was the last time someone here was so mobbed by girls at a bar, that they had to call in female backup?

This happens to me like every day.

[Tommy-G]

Originally Posted by Tambohamilton

When was the last time someone here was so mobbed by girls at a bar, that they had to call in female backup?

One time in Vegas, wait nevermind....what happened there stayed there

[fiveohwblow]

Originally Posted by Sara504

This. It was fine and flirty at first, but then it's like okay, stop the acting, they left. It was too much for me. You're suddenly not as attractive to me anymore as you're not being a gentleman. Know when to stop and try to get to know me for who I am. Saying how sexy I am over and over gets super old. It just confirms to me you’re a fuckboy. Sorry, next.

Do you come with a user Manuel? My wife is much easier to operate than you

[Sara]

Originally Posted by fiveohwblow

Do you come with a user Manuel? My wife is much easier to operate than you

Be a gentleman. Don’t be a fuckboy. I don’t think I’m too hard to read.

[nyalpine90]

Originally Posted by Sara504

This. It was fine and flirty at first, but then it's like okay, stop the acting, they left. It was too much for me. You're suddenly not as attractive to me anymore as you're not being a gentleman. Know when to stop and try to get to know me for who I am. Saying how sexy I am over and over gets super old. It just confirms to me you’re a fuckboy. Sorry, next.

this one is on you, you made a big mistake. you sent a mix message by calling him for help.
NOW he thinks you like him, you thought of him out of the all male friends you have.
SO now he on his macho man trip lol

[Sara]

Originally Posted by nyalpine90

this one is on you, you made a big mistake. you sent a mix message by calling him for help.
NOW he thinks you like him, you thought of him out of the all male friends you have.
SO now he on his macho man trip lol

Hmmmm..., you make a fair point.

[UncleWede]

That is EXACTLY how I got married the first time. Girl I knew from HS, at a bar with 2 other females. Surrounded by a group of large men. I walked by, she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the inner circle. "This is my boyfriend"

Then we had a few more drinks, a few dances. The next day I called her and we started dating for reals.

[Sara]

Originally Posted by UncleWede

That is EXACTLY how I got married the first time. Girl I knew from HS, at a bar with 2 other females. Surrounded by a group of large men. I walked by, she grabbed my arm and pulled me into the inner circle. "This is my boyfriend"

Then we had a few more drinks, a few dances. The next day I called her and we started dating for reals.

You called her. I got a text that read come over, I’m cold, I need body heat

Big difference. You are gentleman.

[Turkish Pickle]

Would you guys consider sleep requirements as a major difference?

girlfriend LOVES to sleep. to the point where i'm starting to get annoyed by it. I can't do the "fall asleep by midnight and sleep until 9am" thing. Me on the other hand I like to get up early (6am) and I go to bed by 2-3am. I'm starting to get annoyed because it's really curbing me in a few ways.

I wake up early to take care of personal stuff (projects, trading, etc), then I "go to work" by logging onto another laptop. She goes to class and by the time I'm done she's done too. So afterwards we spend time together, run errands, eat dinner, watch something etc, and only after she goes to bed I have some time to myself. Such as now.

I'm sincerely struggling at this point, someone please advise. I'm not tilted by this because of the time I spend with her, but more because I don't get to spend time by myself as much.

And to make matters worse, weekends I go to cars and coffee sort of events. I do it to see cool cars, hang with a few friends, and take pictures of cool cars. I'm damned if I bring her along (don't feel comfortable nerding out with the boys), damned if I don't ("oh you don't want me to come? okay... " ). Obviously I don't want to make her feel like I'm trying to avoid her (I'm not) but I need some time to hang with my friends. We've been dating for 7 months this Sunday so this isn't a one-time thing it's been happening often. I'm just really lost on how to handle this because it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall when all I want to do is have a bit more time to myself. This doesn't have a single effect on our relationship but I seem to consistently fail to deliver that point across. I'm not distancing myself from her, I'm not doing anything else. I just miss being by myself so that I can kill time online in boxers with something playing on Youtube where I don't have to "translate" to another person. I watch car/tech stuff, neither of which she's interested in so the jokes/content rarely come off as funny/interesting to her.


I realize I wrote/ranted a lot which is obviously concerning given I'm asking for advice from a bunch of people I haven't met. But I figured you guys can at least guide me in the right direction. I'm not doubting if I want to stay in this relationship I just need some guidance on how to manage this. The way I see it is if it's this taxing as bf/gf I can't even start to imagine how it'll be when we officially move in together, get engaged etc etc

[Tambohamilton]

I'm confused. She loves to sleep, and because of this you get a solid 5h per day to yourself...but you need more time to yourself? What am I missing?

That's a bit of a bummer about the weekend stuff. Seems you can't win there. However, I'm betting that if every other weekend you specifically made plans to do something with her, it'd cut you some slack for the weekends where you go and hang out with your friends.

[Chihuahua]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Me on the other hand I like to get up early (6am) and I go to bed by 2-3am.

You're only sleeping three hours per night?

[JP10]

Sounds like you don't want to be in the relationship Pickle. None of what I read struck me as abnormal for a girlfriend. If you want to continue the relationship then compromises are needed on both ends. If no parties are willing to compromise then either you break up or someone ends up miserable. That choice would be up to the both of you.

Side note if you went into the relationship giving her majority of your attention, i.e not spending time with your friends frequently, and are now trying to change things because you need space she might not understand.

Have you tried having the same conversation that you're trying to have with us with her?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Turkish Pickle

Would you guys consider sleep requirements as a major difference?

girlfriend LOVES to sleep. to the point where i'm starting to get annoyed by it. I can't do the "fall asleep by midnight and sleep until 9am" thing. Me on the other hand I like to get up early (6am) and I go to bed by 2-3am. I'm starting to get annoyed because it's really curbing me in a few ways.

I wake up early to take care of personal stuff (projects, trading, etc), then I "go to work" by logging onto another laptop. She goes to class and by the time I'm done she's done too. So afterwards we spend time together, run errands, eat dinner, watch something etc, and only after she goes to bed I have some time to myself. Such as now.

I'm sincerely struggling at this point, someone please advise. I'm not tilted by this because of the time I spend with her, but more because I don't get to spend time by myself as much.

And to make matters worse, weekends I go to cars and coffee sort of events. I do it to see cool cars, hang with a few friends, and take pictures of cool cars. I'm damned if I bring her along (don't feel comfortable nerding out with the boys), damned if I don't ("oh you don't want me to come? okay... " ). Obviously I don't want to make her feel like I'm trying to avoid her (I'm not) but I need some time to hang with my friends. We've been dating for 7 months this Sunday so this isn't a one-time thing it's been happening often. I'm just really lost on how to handle this because it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall when all I want to do is have a bit more time to myself. This doesn't have a single effect on our relationship but I seem to consistently fail to deliver that point across. I'm not distancing myself from her, I'm not doing anything else. I just miss being by myself so that I can kill time online in boxers with something playing on Youtube where I don't have to "translate" to another person. I watch car/tech stuff, neither of which she's interested in so the jokes/content rarely come off as funny/interesting to her.


I realize I wrote/ranted a lot which is obviously concerning given I'm asking for advice from a bunch of people I haven't met. But I figured you guys can at least guide me in the right direction. I'm not doubting if I want to stay in this relationship I just need some guidance on how to manage this. The way I see it is if it's this taxing as bf/gf I can't even start to imagine how it'll be when we officially move in together, get engaged etc etc

I have experience in this exact situation. Both ex-wives were crazy sleepers. The second was so bad that she would sleep on the weekends til lunch or later. It got to where I couldn't get things done because she would flip if you interrupted her sleep. Then once she was awake she expected to have my entire attention devoted to her. I actually ended up using my time that she was asleep to get quiet work done or go see friends or work outside that didn't involve loud tools, implements and whatnot.

Relationships come down to communication, respect, compromise and empathy. Communicate with her about what your needs are and what you would like in the terms of expectations. Let her know that you want time with the boys to go do shit without her, but explain it in a way that she doesn't take offense to it. If you want more details or want to discuss further, get in touch with me.

Originally Posted by JP10

Have you tried having the same conversation that you're trying to have with us with her?

This.....all of it.