What age is appropriate for sex education?

[Sara]

Originally Posted by Alfisti

My 9 year old ain't buying that, he is highly suspicious things don't add up.

I can't remember what I said to her, but it was along the lines of telling her to do something and she was giving me sass, so I yelled "I gave birth to you do as I say!" or something like that to which she responded with the above. I mean, you really can't argue with a 6 yr old on that topic.

[Wolf 335]

When the kid is old enough to realize that there is no santa or tooth fary, is this when you kick their logic and rationale aside, and maintain the fairy tale that there is a big person in the sky watching over everyone?

[NoMoreVauxhalls]

Originally Posted by NYCGP 2.0

It's more like surprise sex education... One second your kid is looking at my little pony fan videos and some Russian girl riding in her pink Barbie electric toy car the next they're learning about blue waffles.

But what's a blue waffl...

Ohhh...

Ewwwwww

[Joekerr]

Originally Posted by Wolf 335

When the kid is old enough to realize that there is no santa or tooth fary, is when you kick their logic and rationale aside, and maintain the fairy tale that there is a big person in the sky watching over everyone?

What if it wasn't a fairy tale? See I believe there is a God. Not believing in him will not make him go away.

[Patton250]

Originally Posted by Wolf 335

When the kid is old enough to realize that there is no santa or tooth fary, is when you kick their logic and rationale aside, and maintain the fairy tale that there is a big person in the sky watching over everyone?

Much more than that bro. You’ll see. But in the end you’ll get what you want so that’s good right?

I cannot believe a thread like this made it this long without getting closed. Let me answer this question for you OP. I’d like to make a deal with the education system. You teach my kids how to read write and do arithmetic and leave the rest to my wife and I. Thankfully my kids have grown up now and I didn’t have to go face-to-face with the principal over something as offensive as one of his or her teachers talking to my children about inappropriate things. Maybe if our schools concentrated on math, science and English we wouldn’t be 28th in the world in these subjects. Most high school graduates in the United States can’t even name 27 countries never mind the 27 that top us out in these disciplines.

[exE36M3]

So, similar family background but in California - so there's MORE challenges on top of faith (gender, equality, social, etc.)

I had the rebellious daughter - experimenting with sex, watching porn, didn't listen to reason or kindness, gross/stupid boyfriends... she just wanted to do it her own way and make her own mistakes. We had the talks about sex and actual intimacy - at the time, none of them landed.
I aged a lot in those high school years.

Minor miracle she's not pregnant and is actually IN college.
And she's ONLY now (20yo) just coming out of that rebellion stage because she has her own place and pays bills... and now, tells us about her roommates being "irresponsible"... think their mom/dad paying FULL 4-year university tuition and getting Fs or the other one just getting stoned and screwing all day and not going to class. On faith, she goes to church or attends on-line on her own.

Here's my observation:
1. Our kids observe us and what is a healthy relationship - so in our case, mom/dad who love each other and their kids. Once the kid leaves the house on their own, this imprinting speaks more than any other speech we can give. It's the baseline on how they will run their household. Generally if a kid observes mom/dad screaming at each other... guess what they will do when they get married or in a relationship? Or the parents pissing away their money or sleeping around. Patterns.

2. Yes, still tell them your values as a father and mother and WHY you hold true to those. On the question of faith, for me, it's pretty simple... we are dead a lot longer than alive, so maybe we should make some decisions (believe in God or not and then behave accordingly). With sex/marriage/dating, it's no different - we will be older/married A LOT longer than we will be young/single so... make the decision count. And maybe challenge them to think about what they want.

3. Friends will make or break your kid. If your kid is surrounded by kids who hate their parents, or thieves, or social justice (not talking the good kind, the crazy whacked out versions), or hate school... your kid will follow. My kid's friends hated their parents, did poorly in school, thought gender was evil, etc... so A TON of distractions and my kid didn't want to go to college, didn't study for the SAT, had to be FORCED to get her drivers license. As adults, we see patterns of behavior that can screw you up in the long run. But kids, they miss those cues because they are kids.

At best, advise your kid about the long-game... whether it's sex, dating/marriage, money, etc. so it's not just about the penis and vagina, or having that thing NOW, or...

Good luck, let us know who it goes in 20 years!

[Patton250]

Originally Posted by exE36M3

So, similar family background but in California - so there's MORE challenges on top of faith (gender, equality, social, etc.)

I had the rebellious daughter - experimenting with sex, watching porn, didn't listen to reason or kindness, gross/stupid boyfriends... she just wanted to do it her own way and make her own mistakes. We had the talks about sex and actual intimacy - at the time, none of them landed.
I aged a lot in those high school years.

Minor miracle she's not pregnant and is actually IN college.
And she's ONLY now (20yo) just coming out of that rebellion stage because she has her own place and pays bills... and now, tells us about her roommates being "irresponsible"... think their mom/dad paying FULL 4-year university tuition and getting Fs or the other one just getting stoned and screwing all day and not going to class. On faith, she goes to church or attends on-line on her own.

Here's my observation:
1. Our kids observe us and what is a healthy relationship - so in our case, mom/dad who love each other and their kids. Once the kid leaves the house on their own, this imprinting speaks more than any other speech we can give. It's the baseline on how they will run their household. Generally if a kid observes mom/dad screaming at each other... guess what they will do when they get married or in a relationship? Or the parents pissing away their money or sleeping around. Patterns.

2. Yes, still tell them your values as a father and mother and WHY you hold true to those. On the question of faith, for me, it's pretty simple... we are dead a lot longer than alive, so maybe we should make some decisions (believe in God or not and then behave accordingly). With sex/marriage/dating, it's no different - we will be older/married A LOT longer than we will be young/single so... make the decision count. And maybe challenge them to think about what they want.

3. Friends will make or break your kid. If your kid is surrounded by kids who hate their parents, or thieves, or social justice (not talking the good kind, the crazy whacked out versions), or hate school... your kid will follow. My kid's friends hated their parents, did poorly in school, thought gender was evil, etc... so A TON of distractions and my kid didn't want to go to college, didn't study for the SAT, had to be FORCED to get her drivers license. As adults, we see patterns of behavior that can screw you up in the long run. But kids, they miss those cues because they are kids.

At best, advise your kid about the long-game... whether it's sex, dating/marriage, money, etc. so it's not just about the penis and vagina, or having that thing NOW, or...

Good luck, let us know who it goes in 20 years!

Reading your post reinforces some thing I’ve now known for a long time now and that is where your kids go to school is the most important decision you can possibly make for their childhood. I’m terribly sorry you went through all of that. I appreciate you sharing it.

[exE36M3]

Originally Posted by Patton250

Reading your post reinforces some thing I’ve now known for a long time now and that is where your kids go to school is the most important decision you can possibly make for their childhood. I’m terribly sorry you went through all of that. I appreciate you sharing it.

Thanks. Writing all that was oddly cathartic.
Good schools is something to consider, definitely.

Honestly, it's a balancing act as a parent because we work against societies bad influences (the internet), bad friends (that our kids gravitate toward), and adolescence/physiology (hormones, mental states, etc.).

The biggest glimmer of hope I had came from a missionary at church who works with runaway and troubled youth. He said basically, kids are dumb until 25. That's roughly the age when the body stop changing and the pre-frontal cortex of the brain settles in... the part of the brain that makes decisions.

I've got 5 years to go.

[CTinline-six]

I learned in 5th grade. Granted, that was 2001 and things are a bit different now. Kids have access to all sorts of stuff instantly on their devices. I think around that age it is important to teach them just so they are safe. They are going to learn anyway from their friends, might as well try to make sure they aren't teen parents.

A lot of it falls on the parents and not the education system. In high school I wasn't worried about getting a girl pregnant because I'd have to be a teen parent, I was worried about how long I would have to live once my father found out.