This Chick At The Gym...

[MontegoGoGoGo]

Originally Posted by radix

You're way over-thinking this. Buying art just to impress a woman is stupid. It's pandering to start with. Your cell phone idea is also bad. To start with it's childish, and as bmwmthree pointed out, it's creepy. If you want a woman's phone number, just be a man and ask her for it. If she's interested in him, all these silly games aren't necessary. If she's not interested in him, they probably won't make him appear more interesting.

You're right about keeping the conversation light though. Saying something funny here and will definitely help break the ice. I wouldn't just walk up to someone I didn't know and randomly start telling jokes as some other poster suggested however, that just appears weird, and is socially awkward.

+1

You guys have to remember, we as women feel very vulnerable most of the time. It's not something I can explain, or would expect men to understand, but we've always got that 6th sense running in the background. Unless we're wasted, haha. If anything gives that gut feeling of "strange", it's peace out.

The cell phone thing sounds like a good idea. But I think it will make her feel really uncomfortable. (Even though she's giving you signals.) Plus, I can just see the awkwardness as you go through your whole "pitch", and THEN have to tack on the long task of giving her your phone number, slooooowly digit-by-digit,

This thread is getting hilarious.

Just be confident and funny!

[radix]

Originally Posted by klipseracer

How is it creepy to reply to someone thanking them for trying to help you find your phone?

Because it makes it look like you're trying to "trick" her into giving you her number. It also looks bad because she never told you to contact her before you send her that text. If you get lucky enough that she replies and she actually is into you, then guess what? The games weren't necessary at all. Frankly, it's something a teenager would do.

Originally Posted by klipseracer

But some girls you HAVE to have a fairly connecting impression on otherwise they won't crack open. I know girls who literally want to be knocked off their socks all the time otherwise they aren't interested. Going in like John Doe does saying, "Hi. My name is John. Whats your name. I like you. lets have dinner?" is just way too bland. Yes its true that if she really likes you then she'll fall for that, but the girls you REALLY want get that shit all day and you need to be persuasive...

Only someone with Asperger's would just immediately ask a woman to dinner like that. I never suggested that. Also, if you think you can "persuade" a woman to sleep with you, you're going to be wrong most of the time. They either will or they won't based on your personality, looks, status, and a number of other factors. Sometimes it does take time for people to warm up to each other, no doubt. However, they usually have some idea of whether they will or the won't not long after meeting you. Childish games and tricks aren't going to help change their mind, and are for the most part transparent.

Originally Posted by klipseracer

Any man can go ask for her number straight up and I'm certainly not saying purchasing artwork is a part of my routine or that its even necessary. I'm simply suggesting to create a door for plan B during the first conversation by finding out her interests. Guys that are persuasive get laid. Guys who are honest, get laid less.

Finding out a persons interests is just a natural part of meeting someone new anyway. You don't have to force it. As for your persuasive/honest comment, that's just nonsense. You're not going to "persuade" a woman to sleep with you most of the time.

Originally Posted by klipseracer

When I think of people asking for a girls number it feels soooo repetitive, predictable and somewhat cliche.

*If* you get her number via your little trick, and she continues to talk to you, it's because she knew what you were up to all along and gave you her number anyway. In other words, you might just as well asked for her number and put aside the games.

When you play games, women actually know what you're doing, and most of them have seen it all before.

[klipseracer]

Originally Posted by radix

Because it makes it look like you're trying to "trick" her into giving you her number. It also looks bad because she never told you to contact her before you send her that text. If you get lucky enough that she replies and she actually is into you, then guess what? The games weren't necessary at all. Frankly, it's something a teenager would do.

Letting her know you've found it after all isn't creepy. Like I said, keep the first text innocent. Who knows she might come back with the conversation.

Only someone with Asperger's would just immediately ask a woman to dinner like that. I never suggested that. Also, if you think you can "persuade" a woman to sleep with you, you're going to be wrong most of the time. They either will or they won't based on your personality, looks, status, and a number of other factors. Sometimes it does take time for people to warm up to each other, no doubt. However, they usually have some idea of whether they will or the won't not long after meeting you. Childish games and tricks aren't going to help change their mind, and are for the most part transparent.

I agree, but I basically have broken down what you've said and simplified it like you have to my suggestion. There is a smooth, finesse way to do everything. And persuasiveness was regarding getting her to talk not f*ck

Finding out a persons interests is just a natural part of meeting someone new anyway. You don't have to force it. As for your persuasive/honest comment, that's just nonsense. You're not going to "persuade" a woman to sleep with you most of the time.

Regarding interests, I was just making it a point to make a mental note of what she does on the first conversation to help ensure a second conversation. I see people end the conversation Hi! How are you! Nice to meet you! Bye! Then you are friends. Merely a suggestion to get some info if he can. I never said that discovering interests wasn't part of meeting someone.

*If* you get her number via your little trick, and she continues to talk to you, it's because she knew what you were up to all along and gave you her number anyway. In other words, you might just as well asked for her number and put aside the games.

When you play games, women actually know what you're doing, and most of them have seen it all before.

Again, finesse. How you go about bringing up the fact that you've misplaced your phone is what will determine if she believes you are genuine or not. If you've got a better idea outside of just ask her or let nature run its path by just being a man and straight up asking for it then give him some details. You've basically just said ask her. Which for the right girl is great advice but any idiot knows they can try that first if they feel it will work. The OP has pretty much asked for ideas on how to approach this girl. He's had the opportunity for a month and hasn't had any reasonable ideas so far so it sounds like he needs a couple 'tricks' don't you think? Women only know what you allow them to see. If you sound like a moron and stumble through your, 'pitch' then it doesn't really matter how you go about getting someone's number because you'll always seem lame and transparent. Being persuasive is a good thing to show the girl that you are worth her time. A lot of girls don't like to trust too much so that will require persuasion to show that you aren't just some other guy. I agree with a lot of what you've said but keep in mind that these are just simple ideas and its a basic road map or skeleton structure of what can be done. You don't have to use the cellphone 'trick' you can cross your fingers and hope that your synergy is so good right off the bat that things proceed. But a lot of times you don't always get that lucky. Being good at continuing a conversation, cellphone trick or not will be the key here which I think we can both agree on. If he doesn't get anywhere just from introducing these are directions he can go... I don't know any of the intricacies of this situation and I'm giving him a path to follow where as you've basically just told him to grab his balls and hope his hair do gets him the gold. Tell her you want to carpool to the damn gym and you'll need her number. You could also wait until you actually lose your phone to ask for her help. It wouldn't be a trick then, does that justify it? Point is can he keep talking to her and I've pulled that off many times successfully with the right words with a girl I've had a hard time connecting with.

[JayKay335i]

Screw all this vulnerable mumbo jumbo and making up lies and games and whatnot. If a girl wants to fuck you, she wants to fuck you. Doesn't matter how you make contact as long as you make contact. The first thing is physical attraction. She's in to you or not in to you before you even open your mouth. Sure, woman are a little deeper than us and what you say can tilt the seesaw in either direction depending on whatever shit spills out of your mouth. But in the end, when the cars in drive and ready to go, all you need to do is step on the gas.

[TK-421]

C L I F F

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P L E A S E

[radix]

Originally Posted by klipseracer

The OP has pretty much asked for ideas on how to approach this girl. He's had the opportunity for a month and hasn't had any reasonable ideas so far so it sounds like he needs a couple 'tricks' don't you think?

He needs to find the mental fortitude to just talk to her. If he's really having that much trouble even starting, then all the tricks in the world won't help. The only recommendation I can make for getting over shyness or the jitters, is to start talking to women he finds attractive every opportunity he gets. It'll be a crash course in rejection, and getting over it, of sorts. After being rejected several times, you learn that it's not really that bad.

You develop the "well, the worst that can happen is I get shot down" mentality. After that happens, you lose your fear. Once you lose your fear, you become more confident. [Jesus, I sound like yoda]. There's a certain nonchalance that actually helps start up conversations, and keep them going. After a certain amount of practice at the art of conversation, you lose the awkwardness, and develop the finesse that you mentioned.

So if the OP really has that much trouble even approaching this woman, I'd tell him to start talking to every woman he finds attractive until he's no longer afraid of it. It really boils down to one thing, and that is when you get rejected you haven't really lost anything. You didn't "have" the intended recipient of your advances to begin with, so you lose nothing by trying to start up a conversation and finding out she's not interested in you.

[radix]

Originally Posted by TK-421

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OP needs to get over his fear of talking to women he likes.

[ABQ325i]

Originally Posted by TK-421

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Then he is getting a lot of high school type advice.

Go with what Radix said.

[fatjoez]

LOL "pics or ban"

[klipseracer]

Originally Posted by ABQ325i

Then he is getting a lot of high school type advice.

Outside of the minor example of using your lost cellphone as way to continue conversation if you haven't already setup position, what exactly is 'a lot of high school type advice' that you speak of in my initial post? And this can be argued all day long. If he was just going to go ask her he already would have. The guy isn't going to go around talking to women for the next week just so he can come back with more 'I don't' give a shit what happens' attitude to face this chick and say whats up. He needs something to say. you guys are telling him to go in kamikaze and you even admit that it will be a crash course with likely an undesirable result in the beginning. How is that helping him for this girl? Who even says he has problems meeting girls in general, perhaps its just this one with this type environment.

[EmmettBrown]

soooo..... any updates OP? did you pull your tampon out and make a move? come on give us some details

[hl0m4n]

funny and good advice guys . i went to the gym today but i normally don't see her today, tommorow though . we'll see how things go...

its been a month so hopefully she didn't lose interest

[nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn]

As evident in this thread, some guys think too much! Fuck, just do it. Only try to make her laugh if you are a funny person. Some people suck at being funny, and they come off as trying too hard to fit in.

[BMW F22]

Dude after you've asked out a few girls you'll get used to it. Remember that they're humans too. I'm personally not a fan of playing games to get a girl. I believe that if two people share things in common and they have interests in each other it will happen. There really is no need to play the game. I mean if you do when does it stop? Oh and just be yourself and don't do too much to impress a girl.

[DougLikesBMW]

Originally Posted by BMW E90

Dude after you've asked out a few girls you'll get used to it. Remember that they're humans too. I'm personally not a fan of playing games to get a girl. I believe that if two people share things in common and they have interests in each other it will happen. There really is no need to play the game. I mean if you do when does it stop? Oh and just be yourself and don't do too much to impress a girl.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW

I'm just saying that girls are creatures just like us. Some guys sees a hot/good looking chick and think they're a goddess or some shit like that . It's like OMG I can't even approach her I'm too scared!! It's like "grow some balls and go talk to her!!!"

[bmwmthree]

Originally Posted by DougLikesBMW

[hl0m4n]

^ , i guess im fluttered b/c i never had an encounter at the gym. always minded my own business, just a new unexpected place and this chick is def a 9-9.5/10.

[SpacE82]

Originally Posted by hl0m4n

^ , i guess im fluttered b/c i never had an encounter at the gym. always minded my own business, just a new unexpected place and this chick is def a 9-9.5/10.

sorry i had to do it...

[gtrokin330]

i saw this cute girl at my gym the other day, i encountered her only to find out she sounds like a man. there goes my interest of women in teh gym

[TK-421]

Originally Posted by gtrokin330

i saw this cute girl at my gym the other day, i encountered her only to find out she is a man. there goes my interest of women in teh gym

*fixed

[Kroy]

^ lol at that fix. second sentence still makes sense.