Is it appropriate to put a suggested 'gift amount' on a wedding invite?

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by G35POPPEDMYCHERRY

not everyone is as mentally sound as you...its a fucking sick world with sick people

like a BMW is even expensive

Now that's a scary thought!

[DieselDiner]

Originally Posted by evomike

don't be shocked to learn people gossip so and so has a bmw but boy is he cheap guess that's how he affords it.

Jesus, sounds like middle school cheerleaders instead of adults.

[ASAP]

As a guest going to a wedding like this, I'd much prefer to give you $100... than to go on the crap registry and buy you some junk that you'll throw out soon anyways. I'll leave that to you... I think $100 is fair... would not give more... giving less just seems half assed.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

When I go to dinner I get to choose where I go and what I eat and drink and I am not stuck there for 4 hours. A wedding (especially and over the top event) would never be my choice vs. dinner in a nice restaurant, but I’d go if invited out of respect for the bride and groom and their parents.

The bride and groom or their families cover the cost of the wedding. The gift is a gift, not a payment for dinner, especially if the bride and groom keep the gift but their family pays for the wedding. Something got fucked up along the way if that’s not the way people think of it anymore.

i wouldn't put a gift suggestion because i think that's fd up... but i may say "cash preferred" or something.

the problem will then be that people will legit give you $20 thinking thats an appropriate wedding gift lol

also... while i would never force an amount out of anyone, your way of thinking is super selfish

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by ASAP

i wouldn't put a gift suggestion because i think that's fd up... but i may say "cash preferred" or something.

the problem will then be that people will legit give you $20 thinking thats an appropriate wedding gift lol

also... while i would never force an amount out of anyone, your way of thinking is super selfish

Oh well please explain how I am super selfish.

[Tyga11]

Originally Posted by evomike

Judging by OP's suggested gift price I think I see why they put a suggested gift amount on the invite

We have our 4th wedding of the year this upcoming Saturday.

Sorry, I can't afford to pay $300 every wedding. Glad you are well off though.

[ASAP]

Originally Posted by RickFLM4

Oh well please explain how I am super selfish.

well to start, i don't think of the gift as a payment for dinner and well i could spend this money better elsewhere

do note... I am referring to $100 per couple... as a gift... $100 per person is a bit high... below the $100 per couple it seems cheap

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by ASAP

well to start, i don't think of the gift as a payment for dinner and well i could spend this money better elsewhere

do note... I am referring to $100 per couple... as a gift... $100 per person is a bit high... below the $100 per couple it seems cheap

Well, I was responding to other posts that made that analogy so you need to follow the posts. I don’t think of a gift as payment for dinner. If thought of that way, as other posts suggested, then there are better ways to spend $300. A gift is a gift and an invite is an invite - there shouldn’t be expectations of covering your cost that someone else decides on when you get an invite.

I also think $100 is fine but again, the posts I was responding to said otherwise.

[2000cs]

I am with RickFLM4 on this. I’ve been married twice and hosted the rehearsal dinner and paid a bit for step daughters’ and son’s weddings. I did that as a host, celebrating the weddings and welcoming the other half of the family, friends and other guests to celebrate with us. That is the point of the wedding and reception, so it is done within our means, not to be lavish or extreme, and definitely not to show off. No guest is expected to contribute nor to bring any gift.

The gift registry is to inform guests so they can purchase, if they want, something that the bride and groom want and will use. It is not mandatory.

The suggestion to bring a cash gift, with a “minimum” is crass. As many comments in this thread suggest, it taints the wedding with bad feelings before the music has started. Perhaps it weeds out those who can’t afford the minimum, offending them. And it suggests the wedding party don’t know their invited guests well enough to trust their ability to select appropriate gifts.

I don’t have a problem with someone providing a cash gift voluntarily, although it suggests a lack of thought and perhaps that the giver doesn’t know the couple very well. But if dotty old aunt Millie wants to do that, everyone understands.

TL;DR: Tell me you’re a boomer without telling me you’re a boomer.

[Theruleslawyer]

I wouldn't do it. I'd just limit the guest list and not invite cheap bastards. Also make it child-free so someone doesn't RSVP for an entire table and leave $100 for the family. I'm also fine declining wedding invites for people I'm not willing to pay for my plate. It's not much of a gift if the bride and groom are worse off for inviting me.

[XutvJet]

If someone puts a suggested amount for a gift on their invite, I can assure you that I'm not going much less giving them a penny.

[jsf721]

I’m in NY and $ 600-700 is the norm for non inner circle people. Kind of unwritten rule is cover yourself plus a gift. Weddings are expensive and so is everything.

That said I’d never put a suggested gift but expect some people to give you a crazy low gift bc they just don’t know.

[dreamingat30fps]

Jeeeeeeeezzzzus! This thread proves why I'm right in trying to not participate in society.

[DocL]

I've given more than $100 for a Bar Mitzvah gift, but this is completely tasteless. If I ever got an invitation with a suggested gift amount I'd give ten bucks.

When people asked me what I wanted for my wedding gift, I just told them I was registered at "The Money Store" and to ask Phil how much to give lol.

[Watching The World Burn]

Originally Posted by jsf721

I’m in NY and $ 600-700 is the norm for non inner circle people. Kind of unwritten rule is cover yourself plus a gift. Weddings are expensive and so is everything.

That said I’d never put a suggested gift but expect some people to give you a crazy low gift bc they just don’t know.

There is no way non inner circle people are paying $600+ for a wedding in NY. Maybe you, maybe in your social circles, but not everyone in NY is well off enough to do that. You have cab drivers, people eking out a living in their own business that are making just enough to scrape by, no way are these people shelling out $600+ a wedding.

That's absurd that anyone would do that to me, like frick, I'd find a way to get out of it if so. We generally aim for $100 or so per couple. Not less, but usually not much more. Might go to $150.

[LivingInSalt]

Originally Posted by Tyga11

Sorry, I can't afford to pay $300 every wedding. Glad you are well off though.

lol

[RickFLM4]

Originally Posted by LivingInSalt

lol

Well if that’s the lens through which to view it maybe we should also base gifts on what the bride and groom drive. If they have a BMW maybe they don’t need anything else.

[tranquility]

Well, I've had someone ask me if they should bring a gift to my wedding reception...I mean...wt... Some ppl are just so classless smh.

[Bking60]

If it's a wedding that only includes people with net worth over 3-4 mil then they could state an upper limit, so the guests don't think they need to impress with $5k+ gifts. If normal income and up to $200k income guests, there should be no amount mentioned.

[Tyga11]

Originally Posted by LivingInSalt

lol

You think I'm rich because I have an M4? I wish....

[vreihen16]

What happened to traditional wedding gifts, like fondue pots?????

[Gritty]

Originally Posted by jsf721

I’m in NY and $ 600-700 is the norm for non inner circle people. Kind of unwritten rule is cover yourself plus a gift. Weddings are expensive and so is everything.

That said I’d never put a suggested gift but expect some people to give you a crazy low gift bc they just don’t know.

I agree that one should at least cover the cost of the dinner plus a gift. The price could very a lot based on the venue, backyard vs the Ritz. Weddings can be a ton of fun, enjoy yourself and give a nice gift.