Is being initially attracted to a woman important to long term dating?

[E92-Lighting]

Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince

When i was 16 my uncle and I were sitting on the beach checking out girls. This absolute 10 walks by and he says, "You like that?" I said, "Of course, don't you?" He said something I will never forget, "For every girl that looks like that, there is a guy out there who is sick and tired of her..."

+1. beautiful girls come and go... your car and mods never do

[BTM]

I won't date a girl solely because she's attractive, but at the same time have not long term dated any chicks I wasn't physically attracted to either

[Joonsup]

Originally Posted by xtac

What did you say to her after few months? That must have been heart breaking.

yeah i know i probably should have cut it off sooner, but it wasn't like we saw each other everyday for 3 months. I think we hung out a couple times per week for 3 months. We didn't talk on the phone as much as a normal couple so I think that helped a bit. I kept trying to convince myself that I could like her and didn't want to stop trying till I knew for sure that it wasn't going to work. It probably would have went on longer but I got an opportunity when she brought up the whole idea of making it official and that's when I ended it.

[ZJP]

Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince

When i was 16 my uncle and I were sitting on the beach checking out girls. This absolute 10 walks by and he says, "You like that?" I said, "Of course, don't you?" He said something I will never forget, "For every girl that looks like that, there is a guy out there who is sick and tired of her..."

This is so true.

[JayKay335i]

Very true.

I'm long past dating girls that make jaws drop. I find it annoying. It gets annoying going out to bars and having every guy staring at her. Going anywhere and having dudes just constantly checking out. Woman like that always love attention. I'm past it. I much prefer the pretty girl next door type girl that every guy isn't jerking off to when they get home.

[koreez88]

I have dated all kinds of girls, from average to very good-looking in my opinion. In the end, I ended up dumping the average ones on basis of looks and good-looking ones on basis of them being brainless f*ckin bitches. Been there done it all at this point.

At this point, I'd be happy with that "golden middle". A smart girl who makes you smile and laugh but at the same time not too hard on the eyes. Doesn't have to attend Princeton nor does she have to look like Jessica Alba. Can't have it all.

So on the basis of what I have already said, the answer to your question is YES. Looks are important for firing up that initial spark in the relationship. Personality is for keeping it going.

[e92justin]

Originally Posted by xtac

What did you say to her after few months? That must have been heart breaking.

He said i know youre a really great person and you have a wonderful personality, but you dont make me hard so this aint gonna work.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by koreez88

I have dated all kinds of girls, from average to very good-looking in my opinion. In the end, I ended up dumping the average ones on basis of looks and good-looking ones on basis of them being brainless f*ckin bitches. Been there done it all at this point.

At this point, I'd be happy with that "golden middle". A smart girl who makes you smile and laugh but at the same time not too hard on the eyes. Doesn't have to attend Princeton nor does she have to look like Jessica Alba. Can't have it all.

So on the basis of what I have already said, the answer to your question is YES. Looks are important for firing up that initial spark in the relationship. Personality is for keeping it going.

Agreed!! This is exactly how I feel as well. People say I'm picky and perhaps I am. However, I don't think I'm asking for much. It's not like I want a model type that's also smart. No sir! I just want a girl that's cute and has some brain- one that falls in the middle of the spectrum.

[BMW F22]

Originally Posted by joonsup

yeah i know i probably should have cut it off sooner, but it wasn't like we saw each other everyday for 3 months. I think we hung out a couple times per week for 3 months. We didn't talk on the phone as much as a normal couple so I think that helped a bit. I kept trying to convince myself that I could like her and didn't want to stop trying till I knew for sure that it wasn't going to work. It probably would have went on longer but I got an opportunity when she brought up the whole idea of making it official and that's when I ended it.

Dude there's this girl right now that I kinda want to give a shot with. People think she's cute but for some reason I'm not attracted to her in that way. She's pretty smart too. If I gave it a shot and it works out all is good and dandy. On the other hand, if it doesn't I don't wanna end up breaking her heart.

[DenverJayhawk]

Just make sure you date a smart girl. They may be a little more hard headed and sometimes annoying to deal with, but the benefits far outweigh the drawbacks.

[coh4777]

Call me shallwo, but honestly, I HAVE to be attracted to a girl to want to date her. That is not to say that she has to be a supermodel, or the kind of girl that turns heads left and right, but I have to find her physically attractive. At the same time, for me to be in a serious and committed relationship, there has to be more than just physical attraction, but it is still one of the basic requirements...

[silvergray545]

I had this whole great paragraph typed out to contribute to this thread, but when I read it over, I realized that my problem isn't with initial attraction. My problem is girls my age are way too immature. After what happened tonight, I'm done looking for a girlfriend. I have my family, my friends and my car. What more do I need right now?

[Masterplan]

Originally Posted by silvergray545

I had this whole great paragraph typed out to contribute to this thread, but when I read it over, I realized that my problem isn't with initial attraction. My problem is girls my age are way too immature. After what happened tonight, I'm done looking for a girlfriend. I have my family, my friends and my car. What more do I need right now?

Vagina?

[chungdae]

I've always had a philosophy, "Fuck the hot ones and date the cute ones, because the hot ones you can never trust."

[JayKay335i]

Smart girls taste better.

[Memphis1]

Originally Posted by NYCGarbagePrince

When i was 16 my uncle and I were sitting on the beach checking out girls. This absolute 10 walks by and he says, "You like that?" I said, "Of course, don't you?" He said something I will never forget, "For every girl that looks like that, there is a guy out there who is sick and tired of her..."

Where did he get that from? A fortune cookie??

[Memphis1]

Originally Posted by chungdae

I've always had a philosophy, "Fuck the hot ones and date the cute ones, because the hot ones you can never trust."

Sounds like a personal issue...

All you guys sound either like teenagers or like 40 somethings, you don't have the balls to deal with the hot ones so you've given up and now date the 5's and below...

[NYCGarbagePrince]

This coming from someone with a chick in a fishnet shirt as his avatar.

How can we all sound like two completely different age groups?

[Joonsup]

Originally Posted by BMW E90

Dude there's this girl right now that I kinda want to give a shot with. People think she's cute but for some reason I'm not attracted to her in that way. She's pretty smart too. If I gave it a shot and it works out all is good and dandy. On the other hand, if it doesn't I don't wanna end up breaking her heart.

Yeah i learned my lesson. B/c with that one girl I probably did break her heart and it made me feel like shit, but I try to justify it by telling myself better it have ended after 3 months than a year or even longer. If I were you I'd stay in the "friends" category to see if things develop and if you start becoming attracted to her. If things dont happen that way, at least you made another friend.

[MediaArtist]

Originally Posted by coh4777

Call me shallwo, but honestly, I HAVE to be attracted to a girl to want to date her.

Call me shallow as well.

[Edward]

Originally Posted by koreez88

I have dated all kinds of girls, from average to very good-looking in my opinion. In the end, I ended up dumping the average ones on basis of looks and good-looking ones on basis of them being brainless f*ckin bitches. Been there done it all at this point.

At this point, I'd be happy with that "golden middle". A smart girl who makes you smile and laugh but at the same time not too hard on the eyes. Doesn't have to attend Princeton nor does she have to look like Jessica Alba. Can't have it all.

So on the basis of what I have already said, the answer to your question is YES. Looks are important for firing up that initial spark in the relationship. Personality is for keeping it going.

You nailed it bro. Not saying that really hot really smart girls don't exist, but I'm having a hard time finding them in LA. People here are all hot and all dumb, while on the east coast, they are all smart and all fugly (full blown generalization btw).

I think I said it earlier...I'm am honestly starting to find myself more attracted in whole to girls who are cute and probably not the coolest chick in town, but very smart both inherently and on paper. Initial physical attraction as you mentioned is very important. Even if someone talked a girl up to you and in your head you liked her already, the moment you see her, it could bring her down 3 notches if she's not easy on your eyes.

[ghosthi32]

Originally Posted by Memphis1

Sounds like a personal issue...

All you guys sound either like teenagers or like 40 somethings, you don't have the balls to deal with the hot ones so you've given up and now date the 5's and below...