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      09-11-2017, 12:45 PM   #23
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I went thru this with my rott, my first dog as an adult. It took me a long time and can still make me cry at times 10 years later. Took me couple years to be able to get another dog but it's rewarding all over again and will be in the same boat soon as my boy porter is getting old.
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      09-11-2017, 01:31 PM   #24
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I can't imagine the amount of pain you are going through. So sorry for your loss. I sit here reading all of these comments while my 9 year old pupper sits on my lap and my 16 year old is chilling at home. I don't think i'll be able to prepare myself when the day comes. My condolences.




RIP Bowser. You know he'll be waiting for you. Hang in there.
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      09-11-2017, 01:47 PM   #25
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First off, my hugest condolences. I just went through this a few weeks ago with my 15 year old lab Monet. He had been declining for a few years now. Hind legs had lost all muscle due to old age but otherwise healthy. We gave him pain meds every morning with his breakfast which helped his every day living. My wife and I knew that the day was coming and we (she more than I) had decided if anything were to happen, we would make the decision to put end his pain.

One night he had a seizure. Found him drooling, and he had peed his bed. He couldn't stand up at all while I tried to clean him up. We decided that I would take him to the animal hospital (she had to stay home with our kids who were asleep). That was the worst drive of my life. I got to the hospital and the doctor confirmed the seizure and said that I had to "make a decision". Right there without thinking I made it. Spent the next 30 minutes alone with him (man.. I'm tearing up right now just typing this) until I was ready. Called the doctor in and was with him until it was over. Stayed another 30 or so afterwards.

There is no time table for healing. To this day, his bed is still in it's place, his food bowl hasn't been touched, and his collar is still in the front hall. When I'm ready to move on, I will, but I'm not ready yet.. especially after just typing this.

Much love.
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      09-11-2017, 02:10 PM   #26
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So sorry for your loss. The only way I get through it is to remember that if there was no hurt there would be no love and to not love on and be loved by my pets would just absolutely suck. There is also something special about how the bond does for sure deepen, or at least for me it did, when a pet goes through trauma like Bowser did. Sounds like you guys had a hell of a bond and that is just awesome.

The only saving grace is that with our pets we do get to choose to do it again when the time is right. On this one everyone is different. You'll have people telling you to go out and rescue a dog tomorrow and you'll have people who say they can't handle the pain again. I don't get the not being able to handle the pain again as I tend to think more about the absolute joy it brings to our pets to live out their best lives under our care and yes it sucks when they go before we do, but at least we get to give them the best lives they can have. You'll know when the time is right, but until then just mourn. It only shows how much you truly care.
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      09-11-2017, 02:17 PM   #27
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It took me a few tries to get through your story. My little girl died in my arms December 11th 2016. I doubt this is something I'll ever truly get over. I know how you feel right now man and I wish you the best.

My story took a strange turn. My dog initially got sick on 8/28/16. Hang on because this is about to get strange. On 8/28/17 exactly a year to the day I find a 3 month old (based on vets exam) kitten hanging out on my deck. She came up to me like she freaking knew me. So I took her in. The universe is a strange place man.
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      09-11-2017, 02:56 PM   #28
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My condolences
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      09-11-2017, 03:58 PM   #29
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.SugarSkulls View Post
It's been a while since I've been on here, but I don't know how to or where to vent.

Less than 48 hours ago, I had to make the hardest decision of my life ending my best friends pain. Bowser, was 7 years old, and for the first 4.5-5 years of his life he was a total spark plug. Unfortunately they began finding cancerous tumors, 2 of which already had been removed, but they kept coming back- and how he survived for 2 extra years battling back and forth- makes me appreciate how strong and loyal he was to me.

Bowser wasn't just any normal dog. He was my certified ESA. He traveled everywhere with me with the exception of Australia (flight too long+ quarantine)

We are currently in Guadalajara as I am producing a bands album out here, and he suddenly got beyond sick- the cancer became extremely aggressive, he lost 3 kgs in 2 days- vomitting profusely, blood in his stool and urine- and every breath was hollow and in pain.

I rushed him to a vet out here where they performed an ultra sound- and confirmed my worst fear. I was given the option to operate again, but I called my vet in Seattle and asked him to be honest with me- how much longer if I flew him back to get him the surgery.

"A month...if that"

I've lost my father. I've lost my grandfather. I've lost my sister- i have never bawled as hard as I have when it hit me that I was losing my best friend.

I stayed with him the whole time. I held him and felt his last breath, the first time in weeks I have heard a breath of tranquility. I told him over and over again "please let go- I love you so much Bowser" and that was it.

As you can imagine, im having an extremely difficult time. This is the first time I've ever loved a dog to this degree- Before I adopted him, I was addicted to pain medication and had already attempted suicide. He brought me and showed me so much joy, so much unconditional love- he saved my life.

While I'm filled with extreme sadness, and pain almost- I also feel a sense of peace that my little boy is no longer in pain. However, I still find myself randomly crying my eyes out.

If you've gone through this, please share your story, and any advice to pass on to me and fellow members here.

I love you Bowser. I'll miss you so much.

lost a boxer a few years ago with the quickness to cancer. similar; dropped weight so fast. it was crazy hard to deal with. good luck to you, man. my hat is off.
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      09-11-2017, 04:09 PM   #30
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My Condolences. Quite an emotional thread. I too have experienced this, with a cat, many years ago who was with me during a lonely part of life, who, due to sickness I had to put down. I always remember that moment when they handed his lifeless body back to me and suddenly a huge ringing shot through my ears. I remember the only thing that eased the pain was playing my bass guitar as that took me away for a short time.

And now, I am contemplating and have been searching for a dog for my son so he (and me) can experience the wonderful/hard part of having a pet. I have had many dogs as a child but have not had any pets other than fish for 15 years. Double edged sword, but you can never be a true knight without one.
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      09-11-2017, 04:22 PM   #31
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damn, you brought tears to my eyes. my little sweet heart, Inji, is only 4.5 years old but i've been dreading the thought of losing her in later years. i wish that day would never come..

my condolences.
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      09-11-2017, 04:49 PM   #32
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Time.
There are animal owners and then there are animal lovers.
6/1/17 I had to put down my best friend of 13.5 years. Crying pain came on like lightning. The vet said his rear spine was like brittle chalk and had never seen a dog hide, what must have been painful, like he did. Called him stoic.
He already had pancreatitis. It was too much. The vet gave me opiods and after one day of watching him just lay there, I had to make the hardest call of my life. Took him in at closing the next day. The oldest Westie she had ever had as a patient. He was tough but I couldn't watch him like that. He still looked good but his insides were just giving out. Except his heart. He had the heart of an elephant.

Over three months ago and it still hurts, bad. He broke the mold and I'll not get another dog. A personal decision I made with him / velvet cremation pouch and myself. Yes, I hold that velvet and tell him I love him and miss him everyday.

I still have his pictures in a drawer. Not ready yet.
Hang in there. Time. A lot of time.
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      09-11-2017, 05:05 PM   #33
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Been there and it sucks.
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      09-11-2017, 08:29 PM   #34
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Very sorry about Bowser. Bulldogs are a special breed to say the least.

My wife and I had to make the same decision for our bullmastiff just this past March. It was extremely difficult.
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      09-11-2017, 09:41 PM   #35
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Teufel_Hunden View Post
Very sorry about Bowser. Bulldogs are a special breed to say the least.

My wife and I had to make the same decision for our bullmastiff just this past March. It was extremely difficult.
That's what we have such great dogs
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      09-11-2017, 09:58 PM   #36
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facckkk ! i cried too while holding my puppy ! -

sorry for your loss!
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      09-11-2017, 10:01 PM   #37
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I'm sorry for everything you are gong through. I was a marine corps
Dog handler so I understand. Hope you feel better man.
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      09-11-2017, 10:36 PM   #38
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That sucks. Only animal lovers understand. Sometimes it hurts even more than when you lose a human. Actually, many times it does.

Lost 3 pets and it's to the pt my wife doesn't want to have any more pets due to the inevitable heartbreak. Me, I'm a glutton for 'punishment'.

Hang in there and try to remember all the good times you both had. I dunno how...but somehow the pain lessens with time. Take care, dude.
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      09-11-2017, 10:37 PM   #39
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Thank you all so much for your messages/stories about your beloved furry family members. It's truly heart warming to read that there are others who have the same heart I do when it comes to our faithful companions- and I don't feel so alone seeing that what I'm feeling- is perfectly common.

Back home (Seattle/socal) I am part of two rescue groups. Bulldogs specifically because I've been around them all my life. Those of you who gave me the advice on not to feel guilty about thinking of getting another companion- thank you. Because I sure as hell was. But reading that it's almost like loving two different kids, differently but the same- helps me realize that when the time is right, and I'm back home- I will adopt another one. Bowser would have wanted me to, because he knows I have my issues on being alone- but also because my love for all dogs is almost as pure as their love is for us.

You guys are all amazing individuals. From the bottom of my heart, thank you all who left advice, stories of your experiences, condolences-it will help not just me- but anyone who goes through this terrible time in the future.

Tomorrow I receive Bowsers urn/ashes, and I will finally have my closure- I intend to create a shrine once I am home for him. Tomorrow I will post the picture here of it.
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      09-12-2017, 12:14 AM   #40
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I feel you bro. Sorry for your loss.

I've lost a handful of dogs over the years but I have to say that it gets easier. It has helped me appreciate life a lot more and truly understand how precious and short it really is. I always try to take something good after every loss (dog or human) and make it a positive feeling and motivation to improve myself. There's no doubt that you'll go thru grief just like you did with your relatives but I'm sure it has made you stronger after that.

Be awesome for the ones you've lost. Life is really too short.
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      09-12-2017, 12:35 AM   #41
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So sorry for your loss. It hurts so much, but you did the right thing.

I went thru the same a few years ago with our Rotti cross. I still miss him and it takes a long time to fully get over it, if ever.
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      09-12-2017, 10:04 AM   #42
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Now Shug,

I *KNOW* that you would never use Bowser in any untoward way, like to gather fake consolances and appreciates, but I have to ask: Who the FUK was taking pictures of you in that vulnerable, private moment?
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      09-12-2017, 10:18 AM   #43
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I am very sorry for your loss. Dogs can be the best friends any person could have well above and beyond any human.

Had to put my standard poodle of nearly 15 years down last Fall. It was tough. We found a veterinarian who did house calls and we let him stay in his favorite chair and kept him comfortable through the process. He was in constant pain. His hips were almost gone and it was a struggle to move around. He was having auto-immune issues that started with his skin. He couldn't keep food down and made a mess on the other end too. He was initially on a low dose of antibiotics and pain meds and that was really the downward spiral from there. Antibiotics became less effective and there are just limited pain meds for dogs that don't have severe implications.

I have tons of photos of me and him, it's still tough not to look at them and I constantly think of him.
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      09-12-2017, 10:18 AM   #44
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Quote:
Originally Posted by UncleWede View Post
Now Shug,

I *KNOW* that you would never use Bowser in any untoward way, like to gather fake consolances and appreciates, but I have to ask: Who the FUK was taking pictures of you in that vulnerable, private moment?
One of the guys in the band who's album I'm producing- I asked him to stay with me . Which I actually appreciated because otherwise I wouldn't have had one last picture with my little boy.
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