You know you're old when...

[Alfisti]

I have always been an old soul. I remember I was about to turn 16 and stopped looking forward to birthdays. I could sense the fun was over and responsibility was heading at me a million miles an hour.

[parnet17]

Swanson's TV dinners. Saulsbury steak was shit, the turkey wasn't bad. Hitchhiking to high school every day, A&W root beer stands with frozen mugs. Thanksgiving day football with the Bears and Lions, with frozen blood on their faces with steam coming off of their heads. The great George Carlin described it best when he said we are seeing "The pussayforcation of the American male"

[MsGoGoMoto]

Sitting in a hot tub with the husband..
He says that the pool makes the junk package shrink, and the hot tub makes it hang.
After his complaining about Dick and balls, I said that I wish I could go swimming and have my tits not hang as much.

We cackled like 85 yr olds in a retirement home when one tries to eat a hard pretzel without dentures.

[cmyx6go]

Get off my lawn!

https://www.yahoo.com/news/off-lawn-...233700724.html

A 90-year-old Florida man was arrested after punching a neighbor in the face — twice — because the old-timer was upset about someone being on his lawn, police say.

[UncleWede]

When you could pay for a car in goats.

amirite, upstatedoc ???

[3.0L]

Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto

Sitting in a hot tub with the husband..
He says that the pool makes the junk package shrink, and the hot tub makes it hang.
After his complaining about Dick and balls, I said that I wish I could go swimming and have my tits not hang as much.

We cackled like 85 yr olds in a retirement home when one tries to eat a hard pretzel without dentures.

Boobs aren't buoyant?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by cmyx6go

Get off my lawn!

https://www.yahoo.com/news/off-lawn-...233700724.html

A 90-year-old Florida man was arrested after punching a neighbor in the face — twice — because the old-timer was upset about someone being on his lawn, police say.

According to the cops, when they questioned nonagenarian Thomas Conrad about the dispute, he told them to “Get the f—k out of my house.”

This will be me at 90. I also love his wife telling the police that he was lying down and didn't want to talk to them. Was there ever a time in history when something like this would actually hinder police??? "Chief, we found our suspect, but his wife said he was taking a nap and didn't want to be bothered. Foiled again!"

What a great story! This has made my day.

[PawelR]

Do you remember when you were young.....you woke up and u felt good. Now when u wake up u feel a pain in backbone, legs etc...

[vreihen16]

...when you're tuning in to the Blue Origin rocket launch webcast tomorrow morning, to watch William Shatner go where no 90-year-old man has gone before.....

[upstatedoc]

What time?

[TiMSport]

And is it going to be the big dick rocket?

[tom2021]

Listened to this song on the radio today: Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond. You know who Caroline was in the song.

[MsGoGoMoto]

Originally Posted by tom2021

Listened to this song on the radio today: Sweet Caroline, by Neil Diamond. You know who Caroline was in the song.

Touching you
Touching meeee.
.. now I go back to Boston and stuff myself wit Fenway franks

[MsGoGoMoto]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

...when you're tuning in to the Blue Origin rocket launch webcast tomorrow morning, to watch William Shatner go where no 90-year-old man has gone before.....

Blue origin sounds like a guy who's

Nevermind.

[vreihen16]

Originally Posted by upstatedoc

What time?

In a few minutes.....

.

[TiMSport]

Originally Posted by MsGoGoMoto

Blue origin sounds like a guy who's

Nevermind.

Lol. Bezos and Musk are having a non-stop pissing contest. I wonder who SpaceX will send up to space next.

[upstatedoc]

Originally Posted by vreihen16

In a few minutes.....

.

Is he up already? Fox news says 10 AM Eastern

[vreihen16]

Two countdown holds. Launch in 2 minutes.....

[TiMSport]

I watched the whole thing. It was kind of cool I guess but honestly I think I'm spoiled with SpaceX stuff which makes this look like child's play. Even the rocket and returning capsule looks "cheap" dare I say? I didn't realize it was going to be such a short trip up and back.

Sending up civilians into deep space for 3 days is a bit more impressive.

[TiMSport]

Here you go. This was actually pretty funny.... and timely.

[upstatedoc]

How many G's did William Shatner's bladder have to endure?

[3.0L]

Originally Posted by Goldberg13

You look outside, it's snowing, and your first thought isn't "Yay".

Dec 8 5:00 pm - it's starting to snow. The first of the season and
the first one we've seen in years. The wife and I took our hot
buttered rums and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes
drift down, clinging to the trees and covering the ground. It was
beautiful!

Dec 9 We awoke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the
landscape. What a fantastic site. Every tree and shrub covered with a
beautiful white mantle. I shoveled snow for the first time in years
and loved it. I shoveled both our drive and sidewalk. Later, a city
snowplow came along and accidentally covered our drive with compacted
snow from the street. The driver smiled and waved. I waved back and
shoveled our drive again.

Dec 10 It snowed an additional 6 inches last night and the temperature
has dropped to about 11 degrees. Several limbs from the trees and
shrubs snapped due to the weight of the snow. I shoveled again.
Shortly after, the snowplow came by and did his trick again. Much of
the snow is now brownish-gray.

Dec 11 It warmed up enough during the day to create some slush which
soon became ice when the temperature dropped again. Bought snow tires
for both cars. Fell on my ass in the driveway. $145
to a chiropractor but nothing broken. More snow and ice expected.

Dec 12 Still cold. Sold the wife's car and bought a 4X4 in order to get
her to work. Slid into a guardrail anyway and did considerable amount
of damage to the right rear quarter pane. Had another 8 inches of that
white shit last night. Both vehicles covered with salt and crud. More
shoveling in store for me today. That goddam snowplow came by twice
today.

Dec 13 2 degrees outside. More fuckin' snow. Not a tree or shrub on my
property that hasn't been damaged. Power was off most of the night.
Tried to keep from freezing to death with a kerosene heater which
tipped over and nearly burned the house down. I managed to put the
flames out but suffered 2'nd degree burns on my hands and lost most of
my eyelashes and eyebrows. Car slid on ice on the way to the emergency
room and was totaled!!

Dec 14 Goddam mother-fuckin' white shit keeps on coming down. Have to
put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox. If
I ever catch the son-of-a-bitch that drives the snowplow, I'll chew
open his chest and rip his heart out. I think he hides around the
corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then comes down the
street about 60 MPH and buries our drive again. Power still off.
Toilet froze and part of the roof has started to cave in.

Dec 15 6 goddam more fuckin' inches of fuckin' snow and fuckin' sleet
and fuckin' ice and god knows what other kind of white fuckin's shit fell
last night. I wounded the fuckin' snowplow asshole with an ice axe but
he got away. Wife left me. The car won't start. I think I'm going
snow-blind. I can't move my toes. More fucking snow expected tonight.
I'm moving the fuck back to Texas!!!