Ask a Black person anything? (Paul Mooney Style)

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Dude Luther was established like 7 pages ago.

The question is:

Fat Luther or Skinny Luther?

Ain't nobody got time for 7 pages ago

Fat had more resonance to his voice

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Shut it, grown folks are talking.

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Careful....some folks on here ( shoei and EstorilM ) will start calling you grandpa....

Well....I guess I am technically old enough to be a grandpa if I had a kid at 18 and then my kid had a kid around the same age.

[Mywifes335]

Originally Posted by Alpine300zhp

Well....I guess I am technically old enough to be a grandpa if I had a kid at 18 and then my kid had a kid around the same age.

So 36+. Wow. To me, that's normal.

Was hanging out with a 24 year old, she didn't know about ET. I was like WTF?

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

Just off the top of my head, trying to not sound too coon-ish or crazy old school like some of the previous posters, here.

Salt 'N' Pepa
TLC
Biggie
Pac
NWA
Janet Jackson
Jay-Z
Kanye West
Whitney Houston
Marvin Gaye
Run DMC
Public Enemy

I also like a lot of the mainstream Chicago "drill" ignorant music for chest/shoulders/back days, but I won't list them. I also don't give a fuck whether or not people like Kanye West, but the man has permanently shaped the outlook of old-school sampling and music production for modern hip-hop. He's a musical genius.

I hate to break this to you young one, but many of the artists you just listed are very old school. Biggie, Pac and SaltnPepa. Please....those are old school.

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

So 36+. Wow. To me, that's normal.

Was hanging out with a 24 year old, she didn't know about ET. I was like WTF?

I believe it. The kids under 30 have no frame of reference to anything we experienced growing up.

[Mywifes335]

Originally Posted by Alpine300zhp

I hate to break this to you young one, but many of the artists you just listed are very old school. Biggy, Pac and SaltnPepa. Please....those are old school.

Bet he's not down with Teddy, Bobby Womack, Ruffin....


That's prehistoric.

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Dude Luther was established like 7 pages ago.

The question is:

Fat Luther or Skinny Luther?

Easy. Fat Luther. But Skinny Luther still put out great stuff before he died.

[Alpine300zhp]

Originally Posted by Mywifes335

Bet he's not down with Teddy, Bobby Womack, Ruffin....


That's prehistoric.

I agree. Let's see if he proves us wrong.

[Mywifes335]

Originally Posted by Alpine300zhp

I believe it. The kids under 30 have no frame of reference to anything we experienced growing up.

I was with my wife and kid at this restaurant and this (presumably) 20-something year old girl was with her fiancé and inlaws to be talking about how she hates all the "old people" she works with and they were talkingabout accounting that goes back to 1992...she's like, "like, that's before I was born, OMG, like I'm allergic to tomatoes, like my dog chewed through his cone..."

My wife and I were texting periodically through lunch about her multiple chins, tomato allergy and her unimpressed inlaws to be.

Stupid bitch.

The 24 year old I hung out with is cool, but doesn't know ET.

A lot of 20-something's aren't cool and don't know shit except about themself. Bunch of narcissists.

[Lups]

Thanks for the creds op, I didn't deserve it though!

I have gotten off from situations I should've gotten a ticket since "a Finn, wow, was top gear right abt your drivers school?" And in situations like: "mam, get your hands up. Did you rob a holiday inn two miles back?" And naturally my favorite: "you just got caught doing over a hundred. Jail or hitting the limiter Lups (not joking, used my handle)?"

I'm not a very good girl, I've never been. My friend who got into trouble is one who played by all the rules. He leaves lights so slow, I fear the people who developed our tires die of old age before he needs a new set. The difference in treatment was huge in my eyes, and to be honest, it killed the joy I had for getting away from punishment, jail or tickets.

Now for the black topic!

My ex had a jail mate (close enough, army pall) who had a foot long. We were on a holiday together and after a few drinks I asked him the down sides of having a dick bigger than anyone.

His list:

"I can't run over ten km without my underwear giving me burns"
"women see me as a dick, not as a tool"
"my mom tells my girlfriend it's the umbilical cord she forgot to cut"

And my personal favorite: "you white chicks envy us so bad, we need to start rumors of us spitting you in two so we don't have to handle your crazy shit! Fuck off blonde"

So, is it true that you guys tell tales to keep us desperate blondies away? I totally get it, but this legend is quite cruel towards all other races.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by Lups

Thanks for the creds op, I didn't deserve it though!

I have gotten off from situations I should've gotten a ticket since "a Finn, wow, was top gear right abt your drivers school?" And in situations like: "mam, get your hands up. Did you rob a holiday inn two miles back?" And naturally my favorite: "you just got caught doing over a hundred. Jail or hitting the limiter Lups (not joking, used my handle)?"

I'm not a very good girl, I've never been. My friend who got into trouble is one who played by all the rules. He leaves lights so slow, I fear the people who developed our tires die of old age before he needs a new set. The difference in treatment was huge in my eyes, and to be honest, it killed the joy I had for getting away from punishment, jail or tickets.

Now for the black topic!

My ex had a jail mate (close enough, army pall) who had a foot long. We were on a holiday together and after a few drinks I asked him the down sides of having a dick bigger than anyone.

His list:

"I can't run over ten km without my underwear giving me burns"
"women see me as a dick, not as a tool"
"my mom tells my girlfriend it's the umbilical cord she forgot to cut"

And my personal favorite: "you white chicks envy us so bad, we need to start rumors of us spitting you in two so we don't have to handle your crazy shit! Fuck off blonde"

So, is it true that you guys tell tales to keep us desperate blondies away? I totally get it, but this legend is quite cruel towards all other races.

This should solicit some interesting offers...

[FC4]

Is Father's Day your most depressing holiday?

[Lups]

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

This should solicit some interesting offers...

Hey I'm just a 48 year old man who loves stereotypes!

This isn't the thread to point this out, but African Americans (sorry if I'm not using the right term, those translate slowly), by roots (slaves captured were targeted for specific things and tribes were destroyed because of attributes they held) and the conditions of transport over to america alone killed so many, to a non scientist it is a safe to assume that the best, of the best, of the best made the cut.

In human evolution, it is hard to find such a specific goldmine to study, especially as it all happened in such a short time. I bet some pathetic anthropologist finds this post one day and I'll be quoted in a doctorate. And the writer of that doctorate will be wondering why on earth so many people have been held back this long, since their forefathers clearly gave them all the genes to kick us all into dirt.

[kprocivic]

I can speak for my self but I have zero issues with the black mans kryptonite. Most white girls assume you have the mandingo anyway.

[Lups]

Originally Posted by kprocivic

I can speak for my self but I have zero issues with the black mans kryptonite. Most white girls assume you have the mandingo anyway.

But since I'm me, and I truly love destroying all good stories and stereotypes, I'd like to include my good former friend into this thread!

(and I'm not sure how to translate this since the man was black (skin color), and he was from Ethiopia (us citizen so African american who was actually born in Africa?) .

So my ex team mate met a guy. They fell in love and since we were in university, we all knew too well how to respect each others boundaries.


My team mate had been a bit wild until she found the love of her life, who on the other hand insisted they waited until they were married.

They came back from their honeymoon and my friend was happy like nothing I've ever seen. Ever.

"anna, I was beginning to be afraid that he wanted to wait because he had an extra leg as as a dick but he's like normal! We can now use the 5 liters of lube you gave us as a wedding presents to lube hinges!"

I'm never sending an other present again! And for the white chicks reading this: Black men can surprise you.

[1LRM3]

Originally Posted by Verbiage

Just off the top of my head, trying to not sound too coon-ish or crazy old school like some of the previous posters, here.

bro... wuz wrong with old skool my man... some of the best tunes where one could understand the words and feel the groove....

Run DMC
LL
Public Enemy
NWA
Dre

lock.

[jtodd_fl]

Originally Posted by 1LRM3

bro... wuz wrong with old skool my man... some of the best tunes where one could understand the words and feel the groove....

Run DMC
LL
Public Enemy
NWA
Dre

lock.

Dude. This was my list. I'm white and middle aged, so I didn't bother. Throw Newcleus in there and it is basically exactly the list I would have put up. (At least for this list.)

[Mondolemite]

@Lups makes me smile.

BTW, telling fibs to get away from crazy people works for all races.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by Alpine300zhp

I hate to break this to you young one, but many of the artists you just listed are very old school. Biggy, Pac and SaltnPepa. Please....those are old school.

Nice work Sherlock.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by FC4

Is Father's Day your most depressing holiday?

Yes and no.


No kids of my own as of yet, condoms are my friend.


My own father.. Well, we get along well enough.

[Verbiage]

Originally Posted by 1LRM3

bro... wuz wrong with old skool my man... some of the best tunes where one could understand the words and feel the groove....

Run DMC
LL
Public Enemy
NWA
Dre

lock.

Lol stealing my answers, thief.