Dating - Good/Bad Experiences

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

I met a new one last night & shocker...another waste of time!

In her profile, she used "your" instead of "you're". My opening message to her was simply "You're*" You're 45, lady. You should know the difference by now.

She replied & we had a normal conversation & then exchanged numbers. This was Saturday. She couldn't come out to play then so we set a date for Monday. She texted me Sunday afternoon wanting to know if I would meet that evening.

Picked a local brewery and told her meet me there @ 6:30 PM & to let me know when she's on her way. She agrees.

Fast forward to 6 PM & no text. So I ask her if she is running late. 6:15 & she replies saying "Leaving now, sorry." Women, never on time.

Apparently there was an accident on the highway & she had to find another way blah blah. She finally arrives at 7:48. Thankfully, I was on top of it & asked her for her new ETA. No way was I going to wait outside or in there for her all night. It's so local I walked to the place.

She greets me with a handshake. I always find the handshake greeting for a date to be peculiar.

Proceed inside & chat & order our drinks & she gets nachos. Blah blah more normal talk until she busts out complaining about the correcting of her grammar. You'll also see her bitch about it in the pre-meet text message I have attached.

If this was such an issue for you, why did you not only reply in the 1st place, but then exchange numbers & agree to meet & then you whine about it shortly before our meeting too. Now you want to complain in person? Let. It. Go.

At that point, I was done. I said "This obviously isn't going anywhere, right" She says yes & I get up & leave.

Duuuuuude......damn I wish we lived closer so we could drink and share stories. I'm with you, she should know this shit by now. I always think of a quote anytime I hear things like this. "Do no correct a fool or he will hate you, correct a wise man and he will appreciate you." The whole, they're their, there thing along with an/and and your/you're drives me insane. We learned this in elementary school and somehow these individuals have made it this far in life. I typically won't even talk to women that do this. I see these as red flags to stay away as it will end in disaster. These types of women can't keep up with topics that I discuss if they can't even get their grammar on point.

I dated a girl once who used to asked what words meant that I would use in conversation. It got old fast so I started misleading her and giving her the wrong meanings to words I would use. I can't remember them all but I remember telling her that sodomy or to sodomize someone was a fancy way of saying that you helped them out. I clued my friends in on this and we all started doing it. We used to go out for drinks and would try so hard not bust out laughing during conversations when she would join in and try using her new $.50 words. There were many times when we just couldn't contain ourselves. Eventually one of my friends wife pulled her aside and explained what had been happening for months because she couldn't handle seeing this poor girl continue to be ridiculed. We broke up shortly after. Bless her, that girl was hot as sin but dumb as a box of hammers.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I'm going to offer you some advice, and please don't take this the wrong way because it isn't meant as an insult at all.

I've seen some of your messages you posted from POF, Tinder, and those texts, and I think the issue is you come off as a dick to someone who doesn't understand your sense of humor. Trust me, I know, because I have the same sense of humor and was getting the same results for awhile.

Women love to be teased and challenged, but if you come off as too aggressive at first, they will put up a wall because they see it as rude/insulting instead of playful/flirting.

The statement "nice guys finish last" is completely misleading. People who are too nice never keep someone's interest.

The key is to be nice to them at first, so they are more accepting and let their guard down so to speak. Once you're "in" then you can start with the teasing, witty jokes, etc. That is what keeps them interested and wanting more, then finish it off with being dominant in the bedroom and you're set. The key is having a nice "outer shell" as I call it, with a bit of a flirty edge that keeps them wondering.

This shit right here!!! Exactly. Sir, you have it on point.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by CTinline-six

I'm going to offer you some advice, and please don't take this the wrong way because it isn't meant as an insult at all.

I've seen some of your messages you posted from POF, Tinder, and those texts, and I think the issue is you come off as a dick to someone who doesn't understand your sense of humor. Trust me, I know, because I have the same sense of humor and was getting the same results for awhile.

Women love to be teased and challenged, but if you come off as too aggressive at first, they will put up a wall because they see it as rude/insulting instead of playful/flirting.

The statement "nice guys finish last" is completely misleading. People who are too nice never keep someone's interest.

The key is to be nice to them at first, so they are more accepting and let their guard down so to speak. Once you're "in" then you can start with the teasing, witty jokes, etc. That is what keeps them interested and wanting more, then finish it off with being dominant in the bedroom and you're set. The key is having a nice "outer shell" as I call it, with a bit of a flirty edge that keeps them wondering.

I get it, but I'm just gonna be me. I'm not desperate for attention. Also, keep in mind that you're not seeing my openings every time.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by G35POPPEDMYCHERRY

dayum, i just go What up Ma !!!!!

Reminds me of The Boat that Rocked. Midnight Mark got all the ladies, when asked how he did it he replied, "I never say a single word. When the tension gets too much to bear and they simply can't stand the silence a minute longer. I say, How about it then?"

[MKSixer]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Awesome, thanks for being available for this discussion to happen. It is still related to the "bad dates" topic? Hopefully! Sorry for thread jacking!

Was that you that said your dad told you you were dealt a bad hand, play the game with it? I thought that was very inspirational and I remember it constantly.

I am sorry we have to live in a world where people try to inflict harm in some way or the other. Racism should have no place in this world, but I acknowledge it does, and I too experience it to some extent, which saddens me but we have to carry on.

Thanks for sharing your experiences, hard as they are. They are insightful and help us all think about how we act and react to these unfortunate episodes.

I'll try to bring the topic back on track if we digressed:

- Remember my BPD date? So I she simply ghosted me for like 3 weeks.
She had called me a narcissist as she claimed our relationship had started in a fashion too similar to a previous relationship she had had with a narcissist 3 years ago, which "broke her soul". Mind you, she's 37. She had told me her mother had some mental illness and was not around (she was raised by her dad, and her mom lived in another city far away).
I researched a lot about narcissism and how that is ingrained in you from how you're raised... Unlikely to become a narcissist or have your "soul broken" by one in your 30s... I for one am not broken now by her. Hurt, sure, but not broken.

In any case, I showed her how she was hurting me with stuff she was actually DOING to me, and asked her what I had done to her. She said I had not done anything, but because everything was TOO GOOD, she feared I'd turn and hurt her in the future. I laughed at first, but then realized she was referring by her ghosting of other people and stuff.

Long story short, I studied a lot about this (and that is why I asked our fellow member to share a bit more about his borderline personality disorder relationship) and learned a lot, and actually found a video of a girl that, through therapy, realized she had BPD (she had no sense of self, was always sad, felt people would abandon her, etc. all the same as my "girlfriend"). I sent that to her to see if we could talk about it, that she wasn't abandoned, that I cared for her. No response.

SO I decide to ask her via text if she'd be open to meeting last Friday. She replied saying she had no intention of ever meeting with me again, and that I should refrain from attempting any contact with her.
I had only reached out because I still cared for her, missed her, and would truly be willing to go through her betterment/therapy to make her happy (she is not happy, and has not been forever).
In these 3 weeks that she basically ghosted me, she visited my LinkedIn profile (to see if I had gotten another job in another city), my Facebook profile, answered an online Ad I had posted renting my apartment (asking if I had moved cities), and then sent me a text asking if I had moved cities. Basically "stalking me" to see where I had gone. She could've just called and asked how I was doing or something humane.

Long story long (LOL), I replied to her "never contact me again" with "You were the one stalking me, but OK. Why would you even stalk me to see where I ended up online, as asked if I had moved cities..." and immediately BLOCKED her number from my phone, and e-mail.

Saturday morning (yesterday) I get a call from the police saying that if I contact her again they would proceed with criminal charges!
I told the guy: "I'm fully aware, and I blocked her and I hope she stops stalking me as she has been doing, and I had to block her in every online social media/app I had, that I too would like to pursue charges if she did".

I have to hand it to her though: I always said that "ghosting" is inappropriate, the humane thing is to have an adult conversation and say what you want. "I don't want to continue this relationship because of A, B, and C."
The police call was the closure I needed. The bitch can die now.

From now on I'll be much more careful when engaging with women, I have had many bad experiences, but this one takes the cake of the crazy.

You're welcome. The experiences aren't hard, they just exist. And again, thanks for your engagement in reasonable discourse.

I'll comment on your review of the experience with the whack-job you were dating: Run. Don't look back. Run. A good relationship allows your best to shine through and that person was a toxin that needed to be ejected from your life. Well done!

On the side of being careful, I highly recommend a light background check. One of the persons I dated prior to my current friend lied about the number of times she was married. FFS, that's so easy to uncover that it simply falls into the place of being a stupid lie.

Cheers-mk

[Turkish Pickle]

i don't know what i got myself into but i'm slightly curious and slightly scared with a sprinkle of turned on - she sent a link from bdsm wiki about aftercare (??) and how it is apparently important for me to be "cute" afterwards so she can feel fine after "treating me like garbage"?????

i'm going to post a picture later since it's on snap and i dont want to take a screenshot

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

i don't know what i got myself into but i'm slightly curious and slightly scared with a sprinkle of turned on - she sent a link from bdsm wiki about aftercare (??) and how it is apparently important for me to be "cute" afterwards so she can feel fine after "treating me like garbage"?????

i'm going to post a picture later since it's on snap and i dont want to take a screenshot

Run away young friend, run away. You may be in over your head.

Had a girl try this with me once. It's difficult to keep it hard with someone yelling at and beating the shit out of you. I told her I would agree to it as long as we got to switch after. Funny how she wasn't interested in being tied up and whipped with a riding crop but expected me to be ok with it.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Run away young friend, run away. You may be in over your head.

Had a girl try this with me once. It's difficult to keep it hard with someone yelling at and beating the shit out of you. I told her I would agree to it as long as we got to switch after. Funny how she wasn't interested in being tied up and whipped with a riding crop but expected me to be ok with it.

i'm really not feeling that tbh and i can so see that play out exactly how it happened to you

she mentioned that stuff in the car and i was fine with it, told her we'd have a hard time if she wanted to be the top and said she was a switch but im having doubts...

not worth risking my safety and mental health haha

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

i'm really not feeling that tbh and i can so see that play out exactly how it happened to you

she mentioned that stuff in the car and i was fine with it, told her we'd have a hard time if she wanted to be the top and said she was a switch but im having doubts...

not worth risking my safety and mental health haha

Tread lightly young lad. At least have a cool safe word; mine was "Alright bitch, that's enough!"

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

Was that your narcissist as well?
Trying to develop a pattern here as my narcissist mentioned (and had one) being into pegging. Never got around to trying that though.

yeah no FUCK that. my friend's (bro, not the girl) been giving me shit how about my ass will be violated (literally and figuratively) but nope

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

Tread lightly young lad. At least have a cool safe word; mine was "Alright bitch, that's enough!"

yeah that sounds like a plausible safe word
we'll see how stuff turns out on wednesday, if i don't post by thursday tell my mom i was a good innocent boy who just ended up on the wrong path

[UncleWede]

^ pics of mom, so know if worth the effort to "console"

Asking for my friend the C E Yo

[Alfisti]

jesus run , run fast.

[King Rudi]

This thread has quickly turned into a gem.

[JamesWWIII]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

This thread has quickly turned into a gem.

This thread has read like BP's version of Penthouse Forum pretty much since its inception.

[Never_Enough]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

i don't know what i got myself into but i'm slightly curious and slightly scared with a sprinkle of turned on - she sent a link from bdsm wiki about aftercare (??) and how it is apparently important for me to be "cute" afterwards so she can feel fine after "treating me like garbage"?????

i'm going to post a picture later since it's on snap and i dont want to take a screenshot

If you were gay, you'd definitely be a bottom. Fuck all that shit. I'd tell her to pound sand.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

If you were gay, you'd definitely be a bottom. Fuck all that shit. I'd tell her to pound sand.

I completely overlooked the part about being "cute" after. I'm slightly confused about this. Bayerische Motoren Werke please elaborate.

[DETRoadster]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

we'll see how stuff turns out on wednesday, if i don't post by thursday tell my mom i was a good innocent boy who just ended up on the wrong path

I'm going to laugh my ass off when you come back here on Thursday morning talking about how she tied you down and took a dump on your chest....

The only way we can be expected to advise you as to whether the risk is worth it: You need to tell her you have to know what you are getting into and to send you some shots of her dressed up in her BDSM gear. Then share those with us, of course. Let's see if this chick with worth the risk.

[Turkish Pickle]

Originally Posted by Never_Enough

If you were gay, you'd definitely be a bottom. Fuck all that shit. I'd tell her to pound sand.

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I completely overlooked the part about being "cute" after. I'm slightly confused about this. Bayerische Motoren Werke please elaborate.

i don't know myself dudes
best i can do is ask for an hour (need to go home) so that i can upload the text and we can all collectively figure it out?

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by Bayerische Motoren Werke

i don't know myself dudes
best i can do is ask for an hour (need to go home) so that i can upload the text and we can all collectively figure it out?

I'm down. Awaiting said upload. We'll all learn a little something together today.....that is unless UncleWede wants to actually admit that he has mastery level expertise in this area and wants to share to save us the collective brain storming.

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by DETRoadster

I'm going to laugh my ass off when you come back here on Thursday morning talking about how she tied you down and took a dump on your chest....

The only way we can be expected to advise you as to whether the risk is worth it: You need to tell her you have to know what you are getting into and to send you some shots of her dressed up in her BDSM gear. Then share those with us, of course. Let's see if this chick with worth the risk.

I'll second This!

[UncleWede]

Originally Posted by Not_Judy

I'm down. Awaiting said upload. We'll all learn a little something together today.....that is unless UncleWede wants to actually admit that he has mastery level expertise in this area and wants to share to save us the collective brain storming.

Surrendering completely to your lover can be quite . . . liberating

[King Rudi]

Originally Posted by OnerDriver

If nothing else works you can always try pegging on your own at home...