What's that? You wanna chit chat? Welcome to the whore thread!

ASBSECU E93 · 02-05-2016, 12:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

So basically this is working up to be a death match between 1moremod and myself over C5's safe contents. To the victor go the spoils and a new track car or faster tow vehicle.

As well as a death match between you and Shoei over The Dog. To the victor goes the sad reality of being killed by the wife who's standing guard over The Dog.

Is that about right?

I'll use my Grizzly Adams powers over animals to 'lure' him away

Secret weapon = Bacon, wrapped in Bacon, toped with Bacon

ASBSECU E93 · 02-05-2016, 12:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

You forgot my bullmastiff that will take a wet bite out of your ass.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Boz could use a pal to hang out with. We'll take good care of him.

Both will forget you once they have a taste of the farm life

Chasing goats and donkeys and stuff....

Mr Tonka · 02-05-2016, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Stay home with your blind dog and let me have the safe goods. I will send you an also ran tshirt

I will consider your plea for mercy as i sleep. (the t-shirt offer was a good move on your part)

It seems that ASB is already a sleep with all those dreams he's posting.

ASBSECU E93 · 02-05-2016, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1MOREMOD

Stay home with your blind dog and let me have the safe goods. I will send you an also ran tshirt

I will consider your plea for mercy as i sleep. (the t-shirt offer was a good move on your part)

It seems that ASB is already a sleep with all those dreams he's posting.

Not dreaming - nightmare for you two....

shoei · 02-05-2016, 01:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

yes...YES....keeps your focus on the car....

...leave the dog unattended

So basically this is working up to be a death match between 1moremod and myself over C5's safe contents. To the victor go the spoils and a new track car or faster tow vehicle.

As well as a death match between you and Shoei over The Dog. To the victor goes the sad reality of being killed by the wife who's standing guard over The Dog.

Is that about right?

Said wife will be preoccupied counting her money from the inevitable life insurance you have left her with... Probably start taking applications for a pool boy (cue axius) to even mourn over your impending doom at the hands of mod and his mastiff... Boz and I will ride off into the sunset in your Range Rover - granted that British machinery doesn't break down during our getaway...

Axius · 02-05-2016, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Not dreaming - nightmare for you two....

What are you doing for SB Sunday?

jtodd_fl · 02-05-2016, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Billup

This IS the whore thread. I'm a whore. I'm not afraid to admit it.

/me anally violates Billup and leaves a $50 on the dresser.

RJ_ · 02-05-2016, 07:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

/me anally violates Billup and leaves a $50 on the dresser.

F30lolz · 02-05-2016, 07:29 AM

It's Friday and I have to deal with the owners annoying wife. Hopefully she won't haggle me too much. FTR, not bang material.

ASBSECU E93 · 02-05-2016, 08:30 AM

Axius - unfortunately, I am traveling back from Asheville....

Axius · 02-05-2016, 08:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jtodd_fl

/me anally violates Billup and leaves a $50 on the dresser.

There's that guy everyone keeps talking about. I wish he would just disappear already.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASBSECU E93

Axius - unfortunately, I am traveling back from Asheville....

Bummer, probably throwing a little shindig with tons of bacon snacks.

Mr Tonka · 02-05-2016, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoei

Said wife will be preoccupied counting her money from the inevitable life insurance you have left her with... Probably start taking applications for a pool boy (cue axius) to even mourn over your impending doom at the hands of mod and his mastiff... Boz and I will ride off into the sunset in your Range Rover - granted that British machinery doesn't break down during our getaway...

Sure, it's easy to come into this situation in the 11th hour with all the intel and come up with a plan that makes you look like an evil genius.

BUT... in true evil villain fashion, you've monologued your intentions well before my demise, thus allowing me to adjust my actions and thwart your sinister plan.

I will simply train Boz to kill anyone who enters the house if i'm not there. And he WILL kill, even if he has to lick someone to death. ....I may even attach laser to his head.

shoei · 02-05-2016, 09:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr Tonka

Sure, it's easy to come into this situation in the 11th hour with all the intel and come up with a plan that makes you look like an evil genius.

BUT... in true evil villain fashion, you've monologued your intentions well before my demise, thus allowing me to adjust my actions and thwart your sinister plan.

I will simply train Boz to kill anyone who enters the house if i'm not there. And he WILL kill, even if he has to lick someone to death. ....I may even attach laser to his head.

And in true bumbling fashion, you have already played your cards... I know not only does Boz have ASB's weakness (cataracts) I also know his kryptonite (bacon) i'm not worried... He can't even see me... Wife will still be busy "interviewing" axius... Plan is sound, no amount of planning will derail it... Thanks for playing though...

Mr Tonka · 02-05-2016, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shoei

And in true bumbling fashion, you have already played your cards... I know not only does Boz have ASB's weakness (cataracts) I also know his kryptonite (bacon) i'm not worried... He can't even see me... Wife will still be busy "interviewing" axius... Plan is sound, no amount of planning will derail it... Thanks for playing though...

Funny thing about plans.... the end result is mostly due to execution rather than the actual plan. My execution will be flawless. (unlike Brady's performance in his last game)

ASBSECU E93 · 02-05-2016, 10:25 AM

'Everyone has a plan till they get punched in the mouth' ~ Mike Tyson

My hand speed aside, almost superhuman hand/eye....I have ninja skills, wont even be heard or seen....

The only thing that might give me away is the cracking of bones from Arthur Itis...

1MOREMOD · 02-05-2016, 10:34 AM

Get a room

RJ_ · 02-05-2016, 11:43 AM

A goat gets his wish granted by a genie. He wishes to be turned into a human being. After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie. He asks "How can I ever repay you?" The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; and care like no man has cared before. The man obliges.

He first sets out to find his "calling". Over the years, he works many jobs. He finds himself becoming depressed with the monotony that he has come to know. Finally, he decides to go back to his roots and do what he knows. He becomes a farmer. With the money he has accumulated from his many professions, he buys a large farm where he decides to take in unwanted and ill animals. Goats (obviously), pigs, cows, cats, dogs, and various other animals. He cares for them. He comes to know and understand them. He has a deep connection with them.

One day, a woman brings her dog to the man's farm. She is worried about the dog. She says ever since the dog's sibling died, he hasn't seemed right. The man agrees to take the dog and care for it. He knows the other animals will comfort it and the dog will enjoy his new family. The woman comes to visit the dog regularly. She becomes familiar with all of the other animals on the farm, and most of all, the man. They spend hours together each visit. Talking and taking care of the animals together. Hours turn to days. Days to weeks. The man asks the woman to live with him and his animals. The woman obliges. They are in love. They are truly happy.

The genie comes to the man one night in his dreams. The genie says to the man "You have lived like no other man; you have loved like no other man; and you have cared like no other man. You have done well".

The man wakes up the next morning and he doesn't feel well. He can't explain it, but somethings not right. Weeks go by and the man's condition seems to worsen. His doctors cannot explain his rapidly deteriorating health. The woman is always by his side when she's not caring for his animals. The woman's dog sleeps at the foot of his bed. Never leaving. At last, it seems like he cannot hold on for much longer. He's barely able to speak at this point. He motions for the woman to come near. He says to her "Do you want to know why I fell in love with you all those years ago? Do you want to know why I love you more and more every day?" She says, "Yes, my love, tell me."
With his final breath, he tells her "Because you make me feel like a kid again."

Axius · 02-05-2016, 11:44 AM

Damn that's a lot of words..., I wonder what it says.

Can someone give me a TLDR?

RJ_ · 02-05-2016, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

Damn that's a lot of words..., I wonder what it says.

Can someone give me a TLDR?

TL;DR: You're at work, what better things do you have to do?

Axius · 02-05-2016, 11:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RJ_

TL;DR: You're at work, what better things do you have to do?

Do I look like a man that reeds books? I didn't go to colledge, remember, too stoopid! Caynt Reed!

RJ_ · 02-05-2016, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

Do I look like a man that reeds books? I didn't go to colledge, remember, too stoopid! Caynt Reed!

A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Do it for the goats.

1MOREMOD · 02-05-2016, 12:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Axius

Do I look like a man that reeds books? I didn't go to colledge, remember, too stoopid! Caynt Reed!

Dude youre missing out.

02-05-2016, 10:34 AM	#22456
1MOREMOD - 11809 Rep 23,186 Posts Drives: Race car-> Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: check your mirrors iTrader: (5)	Get a room
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02-05-2016, 11:43 AM	#22457
RJ_ Baby-faced Assassin 1204 Rep 152 Posts Drives: when car isn't broke. Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Department of the Posterior iTrader: (0)	A goat gets his wish granted by a genie. He wishes to be turned into a human being. After his transformation, the, now, man is so grateful to the genie. He asks "How can I ever repay you?" The genie just has this request: That the man make the most of his life and live like no man has lived before; love like no man has loved before; and care like no man has cared before. The man obliges. He first sets out to find his "calling". Over the years, he works many jobs. He finds himself becoming depressed with the monotony that he has come to know. Finally, he decides to go back to his roots and do what he knows. He becomes a farmer. With the money he has accumulated from his many professions, he buys a large farm where he decides to take in unwanted and ill animals. Goats (obviously), pigs, cows, cats, dogs, and various other animals. He cares for them. He comes to know and understand them. He has a deep connection with them. One day, a woman brings her dog to the man's farm. She is worried about the dog. She says ever since the dog's sibling died, he hasn't seemed right. The man agrees to take the dog and care for it. He knows the other animals will comfort it and the dog will enjoy his new family. The woman comes to visit the dog regularly. She becomes familiar with all of the other animals on the farm, and most of all, the man. They spend hours together each visit. Talking and taking care of the animals together. Hours turn to days. Days to weeks. The man asks the woman to live with him and his animals. The woman obliges. They are in love. They are truly happy. The genie comes to the man one night in his dreams. The genie says to the man "You have lived like no other man; you have loved like no other man; and you have cared like no other man. You have done well". The man wakes up the next morning and he doesn't feel well. He can't explain it, but somethings not right. Weeks go by and the man's condition seems to worsen. His doctors cannot explain his rapidly deteriorating health. The woman is always by his side when she's not caring for his animals. The woman's dog sleeps at the foot of his bed. Never leaving. At last, it seems like he cannot hold on for much longer. He's barely able to speak at this point. He motions for the woman to come near. He says to her "Do you want to know why I fell in love with you all those years ago? Do you want to know why I love you more and more every day?" She says, "Yes, my love, tell me." With his final breath, he tells her "Because you make me feel like a kid again."
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02-05-2016, 11:44 AM	#22458
Axius Banned 4199 Rep 216 Posts Drives: 612 Scaglietti Join Date: Sep 2015 Location: Watch Me NayNay iTrader: (0)	Damn that's a lot of words..., I wonder what it says. Can someone give me a TLDR?
	Appreciate 0