Men after marriage

darkphantom · 12-03-2008, 08:29 PM

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as
women
and then he turns them into Wives.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy
Independence Day
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about
something you say.
After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Wives r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------
--------- -
Q: Why dogs don't marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog's life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that
he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going
thru hell.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other
ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- ---------

Here comes the Ultimate One

Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

aut0sh0cker · 12-03-2008, 09:02 PM

WOW all of those made me LOL!!

ty for posting, now go get some more...

Razzy · 12-03-2008, 09:10 PM

HAHA, though i cant say i know how married men feel, what i can say is i feel bad for you.

darkphantom · 12-04-2008, 02:28 AM

lol...i'm not married, yet....X_X

I'm still free! (well sorta...)

E90330iS · 12-04-2008, 03:08 AM

hahaha

TMNT · 12-12-2008, 10:37 AM

Nice

BMWM3DREAM · 07-10-2009, 01:25 AM

no man should marry in his 20s

Scorpion · 07-10-2009, 08:25 AM

Good stuff lol

pdjafari · 07-10-2009, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bmoney2K4

no man should marry in his 20s

agreed, 32+ IMHO

darkphantom · 07-10-2009, 07:38 PM

the above mentioned scenario only works if the wife to be is significantly younger as women's optimal child bearing age precedes 30

SoYank · 07-11-2009, 04:13 PM

No man is complete until he's married. Then he's finished.

EINSER M · 07-16-2009, 04:06 PM

seriously comic stuff here. xcellent post i laughed my head off more than once!

Mu Mu · 09-02-2009, 07:34 AM

Anybody here who's in their 20s & married???

cagenicolas121 · 09-02-2009, 01:18 PM

wife is like a knife who cuts your life......

smedleyamy · 09-04-2009, 06:13 AM

Hello darkphantom,

Hey dude, You are a great stud. I like your attitude towards marriage as I like your article.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
This above line is best line which gives me funny thoughts in mind.Please post some other good articles. I want to read more on this topic or give me link , so I can read from the site.

Thanks

radix · 09-04-2009, 06:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smedleyamy

Hello darkphantom,

Hey dude, You are a great stud. I like your attitude towards marriage as I like your article.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
This above line is best line which gives me funny thoughts in mind.Please post some other good articles. I want to read more on this topic or give me link , so I can read from the site.

Thanks

OMG... this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen on this forum. Mods... if he does turn out to be a spammer (see sig), can we keep him? Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top? He's made two posts so far and both are awesomely awesome with extra added awesomeness .

Year's_End · 09-04-2009, 02:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smedleyamy

Hello darkphantom,

Hey dude, You are a great stud. I like your attitude towards marriage as I like your article.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
This above line is best line which gives me funny thoughts in mind.Please post some other good articles. I want to read more on this topic or give me link , so I can read from the site.

Thanks

Quote:

Originally Posted by radix

OMG... this might be the funniest thing I've ever seen on this forum. Mods... if he does turn out to be a spammer (see sig), can we keep him? Please, please, pretty please with sugar on top? He's made two posts so far and both are awesomely awesome with extra added awesomeness .

I wholeheartedly agree. lol

Oregano123 · 09-07-2009, 08:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by darkphantom

If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy
Independence Day

c0nstant · 09-07-2009, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smedleyamy

Hello darkphantom,

Hey dude, You are a great stud. I like your attitude towards marriage as I like your article.
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight
begins!
This above line is best line which gives me funny thoughts in mind.Please post some other good articles. I want to read more on this topic or give me link , so I can read from the site.

Thanks

OMG GAGGAGgasdfasgf

darkphantom · 09-07-2009, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jh valley

OMG GAGGAGgasdfasgf

i r can writing gud artiklez

GreenPlease · 09-20-2009, 08:24 PM

Do you know why the bride always smiles when she walks down the aisle? Because she knows she's given her last blow job.

Pink Taco · 09-22-2009, 02:36 PM

lol awesome post!

12-03-2008, 08:29 PM	#1
darkphantom Banned 625 Rep 5,945 Posts Drives: E93 335i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The place for Bimmers iTrader: (4)	Men after marriage Man: Is there any way for long life? Dr: Get married. Man: Will it help? Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- It's funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged. It's like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women and then he turns them into Wives. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- If u r married please ignore this msg, for everyone else: Happy Independence Day ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he'll fall asleep before you finish. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Girlfriends r like chocolates, taste good anytime. Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently. Wives r like Dal RICE, eaten when there's no choice. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated? Man: Don't take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- - Q: Why dogs don't marry? A: Because they are already leading a dog's life! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell. ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you continue to do so for the rest of your life! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Q: Why doesn't law permit a man to marry a second woman? A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence! ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- Here comes the Ultimate One Prospective husband: Do you have a book called 'Man, The Master of Women'? Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.
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12-03-2008, 09:02 PM	#2
aut0sh0cker meh 125 Rep 1,752 Posts Drives: E92 335i, 997.2 C4S Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: 91362 iTrader: (2)	WOW all of those made me LOL!! ty for posting, now go get some more...
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12-03-2008, 09:10 PM	#3
Razzy Lieutenant 260 Rep 509 Posts Drives: N/A Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Ontario, Canada iTrader: (0)	HAHA, though i cant say i know how married men feel, what i can say is i feel bad for you.
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12-04-2008, 02:28 AM	#4
darkphantom Banned 625 Rep 5,945 Posts Drives: E93 335i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The place for Bimmers iTrader: (4)	lol...i'm not married, yet....X_X I'm still free! (well sorta...)
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12-04-2008, 03:08 AM	#5
E90330iS Major General 147 Rep 6,333 Posts Drives: BMW M4 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Arcadia, California iTrader: (56) Garage List 2006 330i [0.00]	hahaha __________________ 2017 BMW M4 DCT Lease Transfer: https://f80.bimmerpost.com/forums/sh...8#post23736398
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12-12-2008, 10:37 AM	#6
TMNT Captain 178 Rep 872 Posts Drives: 330ci ZHP Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: VA iTrader: (0)	Nice
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07-10-2009, 01:25 AM	#7
BMWM3DREAM Captain 194 Rep 900 Posts Drives: 2016 535i Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Los Angeles, California iTrader: (0)	no man should marry in his 20s
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07-10-2009, 08:25 AM	#8
Scorpion Major 164 Rep 1,210 Posts Drives: Nothing Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Nowhere iTrader: (0)	Good stuff lol
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07-10-2009, 07:38 PM	#10
darkphantom Banned 625 Rep 5,945 Posts Drives: E93 335i Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: The place for Bimmers iTrader: (4)	the above mentioned scenario only works if the wife to be is significantly younger as women's optimal child bearing age precedes 30
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07-11-2009, 04:13 PM	#11
SoYank Major General 578 Rep 7,519 Posts Drives: 2009 E90 335i MT Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Vinton, Virginia iTrader: (1) Garage List 2009 BMW E90 335i S ... [9.00]	No man is complete until he's married. Then he's finished. __________________ **2009 E90 335i Montego Blue · Black Leather · Burl Walnut · 6MT · US Spec** SatNav • ZPP • ZCW • 6FL • TPMS • iDrive • PDC • HWS • Xenons • BMW Assist • Power Rear Sunshade • Logic 7 European Taillights • Rear Foglamp • OEM Alarm • PicoTray • DataToys XM-DVR • Multi-view Processor Quaife ATB LSD • Short Shift Knob • Hartge Anti-Roll Bars • AP Racing Front Brakes • 19" Style 269
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07-16-2009, 04:06 PM	#12
EINSER M Major General 422 Rep 5,728 Posts Drives: BMW i3 rex Join Date: May 2006 Location: SoCal iTrader: (44) Garage List 2018 I01 i3s \| CURRENT [10.00] 2018 G01 X3 \| CURRENT [10.00] 2017 I01 i3 \| SOLD [10.00] 2017 F48 X1 \| SOLD ... [0.00] 2016 I01 i3 \| SOLD [0.00] 2017 F22 M240 \| SOLD [8.00] 2016 F25 X3 diesel ... [0.00] 2006 E60 550 \| SOLD [6.00] 2011 E90 335 \| SOLD [8.66] 2012 E82 135 \| SOLD [5.50] 2011 E82 1M \| SOLD [7.94] 2007 E85 Z4M\| SOLD [4.50] 2003 E53 X5 4.6is S ... [9.00] 2008 E92 328 \| SOLD [0.00] 2008 E82 135 \| SOLD [0.00] 2008 E90 335 \| SOLD [0.00] 2003 E46 M3 \| SOLD [7.50] 2006 E90 330 \| SOLD [10.00] 2003 E46 330ZHP \| SOLD [0.00]	seriously comic stuff here. xcellent post i laughed my head off more than once!
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09-02-2009, 07:34 AM	#13
Mu Mu First Lieutenant 7 Rep 353 Posts Drives: BMW 330i Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Johannesburg iTrader: (0)	Anybody here who's in their 20s & married???
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09-02-2009, 01:18 PM	#14
cagenicolas121 Banned 0 Rep 44 Posts Drives: BMW E36 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: New Jersey iTrader: (0)	wife is like a knife who cuts your life......
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09-04-2009, 06:13 AM	#15
smedleyamy Registered 0 Rep 1 Posts Drives: Ferrai Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: California iTrader: (0)	Re:Men after marriage Hello darkphantom, Hey dude, You are a great stud. I like your attitude towards marriage as I like your article. Why do couples hold hands during their wedding? It's a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins! This above line is best line which gives me funny thoughts in mind.Please post some other good articles. I want to read more on this topic or give me link , so I can read from the site. Thanks __________________ vitamin e
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09-20-2009, 08:24 PM	#21
GreenPlease Lieutenant Colonel 146 Rep 1,629 Posts Drives: BMW 335i e92 Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Orlando Florida iTrader: (2)	Do you know why the bride always smiles when she walks down the aisle? Because she knows she's given her last blow job.
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09-22-2009, 02:36 PM	#22
Pink Taco Doesn't get Pinker than this... 10 Rep 129 Posts Drives: e90 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Huntington Beach, Ca iTrader: (0)	lol awesome post!
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