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09-18-2009, 01:48 PM | #1 |
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We are highly rated
Good to see that we top this. Winning is important, regardless of the accolade.
http://www0.epinions.com/content_960077956 Quote: RANKINGS 10: Ford Explorer. Agg: 3 Att: 4 Crt: 2 AQ: 4 By and large, Explorer drivers are decent people, who just seem to lose their heads now and again. However, the driving population is severely split between suburban women/soccer moms and young first-jobbers. The soccer moms are the ones that keep the Explorer from being ranked higher in the list, as they tend to severely lower both the Aggression and Courtesy quotient. Young fist jobbers (generally mid-20's white guys who just landed their first sales rep gig and want to show off) use the explorer as a way to advertise their testosterone, and really have no idea of how to handle a larger vehicle. However, they do not yet have the engrained A-holiness to be overly aggressive, nor the insurance to allow them to be. 9: VW Beetle. Agg: 2 Att: 6 Crt: 4 AQ: 4 Young girls, young homosexuals, whites, and Asians tend to be drawn to this car. Don't ask me why, but it is true. It is probably because of the design of the car, and the colors available. Whatever, this is a remarkably popular vehicle for the young and hip. The type of people who tend not to pay attention to the road or their place on it because they are young and still a bit stupid, and who have more attitude than sense. However, these people are also basically harmless on the road, because although they are completely unaware of their surroundings, they are not malicious. If you see a Beetle, you know to beware, because it will inevitably change lanes without signaling, or suddenly make a right turn. But at least you may get a wave. 8: Acura (Any Model). Agg: 5 Att: 5 Crt: 7 AQ: 5 Acuras have become the chosen car of the wanna-be cool. They are just expensive enough to keep most first jobbers away from them, but not expensive enough to be considered a status symbol any more (that is the place for the Lexus now). For a long time, Acuras were the choice of young, rich, Asian kids, but now they are pan-ethnic in appeal. The loss of status in the name-plate means that now, all those kids who want to seem cool can get one. Acura drivers like to trick the car out by blacking the windows, lowering the car, and installing the thumper system so you could hear one coming from a mile away. Acura drivers tend to drive like they want to make a point about how cool they are, and they often are so preoccupied with the bass levels of their stereos, that they end up drifting into your lane. Also, drivers of Acuras tend to adopt the nearly-flat reclined position, where they can just barely reach the steering wheel and pedals, sacrificing vehicle control for image. The drivers tend to be young, teens and early 20's, use a lot of hair gel, and wear sunglasses even at night. 7: Chevy Camaro. Agg: 7 Att: 5 Crt: 6 AQ: 7 Ah, the Camaro. The last stand of the Mullet. This, once proud example of American street domination has become such a parody of itself it is a wonder Chevrolet hasn't recalled every one built since 1974 and burned them to end their embarrassment. Today, Camaros are almost the exclusive realm of the Mullet. You've seen these people: Surly, white, blue-collar, semi-literate, backwoods 20-somethings with the short on top, long in back hair style, and the thin "molestor" moustache. Camaro drivers have an undying loyalty to the rock music of Dokken and Iron Maiden, and a intense dislike of any non-Mullet. Beware the Camaro driver. Aside from the high likelihood of a major breakdown, the drivers are angry, and display their anger on the road. They are angry because Dokken is gone. Angry because they can't find a sale on Pabst Blue Ribbon. Angry because their girlfriends dumped them for their best friends on the Jerry Springer show last week. Angry because the freaking water pump needs to be replaced. And angry because that Toyota Celica just whipped by them like they were stuck in cement. Yes, beware the Camaro driver. Although they are not life threatening, they have the innate aggression of too many cheap beers and unemployment -- a dangerous combination. 6: Ford Expedition. Agg: 7 Att: 6 Crt: 7 AQ: 7 Ford Expedition drivers are Ford Explorer drivers gone bad. Actually, they are Explorer drivers who no longer want to be associated with the kind of car driven by soccer moms. These divers are the ones who are now junior sales partners, and have to celebrate by getting a bigger truck to house their bigger egos. They are almost exclusively white, early 30's, with a cell-phone permanently attached to their ear, and no concept of anyone else on the road. It's not that they are unobservant, it's that they just don't care about you. Their car is bigger than yours, and they have an important sales meeting to get to, so you'd better get out of their way. Their attitude is the driving force for their aggression on their road (they NEED to get to that meeting, you don't). Their lack of courtesy is often the direct result of the fact that they don't see you. Again, not that they can't see you, but that they won't see you because they have to get to that meeting! If it weren't for the pressure of their meeting their numbers every quarter, these guys would be more relaxed, and lower on the list. But they have that sales contest where first prize is a new Cadillac, second prize is a set of steak knives, and third prize is that they are fired, so you had just better get out of their way. 5: Ford Mustang. Agg: 8 Att: 5 Crt: 8 AQ: 8 The Mustang driver is what the Camaro driver wants to be. Hipper, richer, better dressed, and with prettier girlfriends than his Mullet-cousin, the Mustang driver is the adolescent boy gone wild. The Mustang driver comes in every ethnicity, although there tends to be slightly more white and Latino drivers than others. Teen angst and a near insane need for a cool image are what make this driver what he is. For him, every inch of the road is a private race-track. The only reason the Attention levels rate comparatively low for this driver, is that he doesn't want to ding his car, cause he spent all weekend polishing and waxing it to impress the chicks when he cruises on Friday night by the clubs. Otherwise, the Mustang driver would be in the top three. 4: Mercedes Benz (Any Model). Agg: 7 Att: 8 Crt: 8 AQ: 8 Now we are reaching into the really bad drivers, and the reason has nothing to do with youth or inherent anger. It has to do with dead presidents, and lots of them. There is a phenomenon that starts with the Expedition driver, and which shows a direct correlation between money & status and bad driving. The reason is the self-importance and overinflated ego of the driver. After all, they are VPs of major companies and are used to drones kissing their butts every day for pennies per hour. They get used to it and they like it. Soon they'll be damned if they will tolerate any sort of equality on the road, and expect that jerk in the Saturn to defer to their obvious superiority and status. This means that Mercedes drivers have no qualms about cutting you off, turning left from the far right lane, pulling out in front of you, or coming to a dead stop to read a billboard with no forewarning. And never expect any admission of guilt or acknowledgement of you as a driver. The only reason the MB driver is not in the top three is similar to the Explorer -- many of the drivers are women, who are less aggressive and A-holey than the men. 3: Jeep Grand Cherokee. Agg: 8 Att: 8 Crt: 8 AQ: 9 Whatever good qualities the Expedition driver has is lost when it comes to the Jeep driver. Similarly, whatever bad qualities the Expedition driver has are magnified in the Jeep driver. And, remarkably, there is no difference between men & women who drive these cars. Both sexes have an amazingly high self-involved attitude, and show no inclination that they share the road with anyone else. It is almost as if Jeep dealers have a screening process to prevent selling their cars to anyone who doesn't reach some minimum A-hole level. Jeep drivers consistently forge their own path by merging into a space that isn't there, forcing other drivers to either collide with them or move out, and like Expedition drivers, are always on the phone. The only consolation we can take over this scourge is that we know that their Jeeps will suffer some major mechanical problem or other within two years of purchase, and that these drivers will become very good friends with their mechanics. 2: Jaguar (Any Model). Agg: 9 Att: 9 Crt: 9 AQ: 9 This was actually a surprise, given the amount of women drivers of the Jaguar, but this car has reached that rarified air of the wealthy who just don't give a damn about the rest of us. After much consideration as to why they rank so high it finally hit me: They are the same group as the Mercedes drivers, but not as sophisticated. Mercedes drivers are A-holes, no doubt, but there is almost a refinement to them that makes them A-holes with class. Jaguar drivers are like nuveau-riche A-holes, who need to be bigger A-holes than Mercedes drivers just to prove they belong in the same circles. Where Mercedes drivers cut you off because they don't care about you, Jaguar drivers will cut you off to make the point that they are better than you. That difference is what catapulted them over the competition to number two. Many is the time I have seen a Jaguar driver swiftly change lanes in front of an innocent, then stare at them in the rear-view mirror as if to challenge the person they just cut off. Their arrogance is boundless, and has earned them this placement 1:BMW (Any Model). Agg: 10 Att: 10 Crt: 10 AQ: 10 All hail the champion! BMW drivers are bar none, the worst around. They have managed to achieve that elusive combination of disdain, money, attitude, disregard for others, and self-importance that no other drivers have. BMW drivers don't just not care about you … they HATE you. They hate having to share the road with any other driver. They hate those who drive what they consider sub-standard cars (i.e. any car not costing over $40,000) because they are losers. They hate those who drive Mercedes, Lexus, etc because they are stuffy or old. They hate those who drive SUVs because they take up too much room. They hate those who drive Porsches, Corvettes, and other big-bicks sports cars because those drivers don't drive fast enough. They even hate other BMW drivers because they can't stand that anyone else has their car. BMW drivers are generally white 40-somethings with a wife and three kids, plus a mistress on the side. They tend to be largely lawyers or investment bankers, whose philosophy is that the world is here to serve them, and it is doing a bad job of it. They mistreat and underpay their illegal Honduran or El Salvadoran housekeepers, and consistently mispronounce their names. Their children are named Kaitlyn or Brittney or Chase or Brendan. They were all in either fraternities or sororities, play golf badly, and revere Tiger Woods for being a credit to his race. They are the scum of the earth, and are truly deserving the title of the worst drivers around. If you want to have fun, do yourself a favor and cut a BMW driver off without acknowledging him. Then when he honks his horn or gesticulates at you, give him the bird. The audacity of your display will send him into a rage the likes of which will provide you with hours of enjoyment as you recall how many shades of purple his face became as he cursed you out for soiling his planet with your existence.
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09-18-2009, 01:55 PM | #2 |
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Seriously? Wow. I don't even know what this guy's smoking. I drive both a '97 Jeep Grand Cherokee and an '06 330xi. The Jeep has served me well with nearly no problems for the past 10 years (axle boots need replacing right now but thats about it). And I'll let these forums speak to the bimmer side.
This guy has some other issues to deal with and they definitely don't have to do with cars. |
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09-18-2009, 01:58 PM | #3 |
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this guy completely missed the Prius driver and the PTCruiser driver
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09-18-2009, 01:59 PM | #5 |
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Haha, didn't even notice that
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09-18-2009, 02:00 PM | #6 |
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Ha funny nonetheless. Although almost all of my friends who are finance majors do drive BMW's...
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09-18-2009, 02:00 PM | #7 |
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09-18-2009, 02:07 PM | #8 |
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Well, it has been posted here a few times before. Not that I disagree with putting BMW drivers on the list, but I think Hummer and some others belong on there, too.
http://www.e90post.com/forums/showthread.php?p=167423
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09-18-2009, 02:09 PM | #9 | |
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It is very funny that he places the 4Runner in 16th place though.
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09-18-2009, 02:14 PM | #10 | |
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+1 for the Prius drivers too, they are too busy looking at their regenerative braking stats to look at the road. |
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09-18-2009, 02:22 PM | #11 |
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f-that...
i'm proud to own a BMW. I can't help it if my car is awesome. haha
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09-18-2009, 02:25 PM | #12 | |||
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The n54 made us so much more polite eh?? In the last week I know I have let about 5 cars out in traffic (I blew off the guy in the raised up 4x4). I guess Im screwing with our ratings. Whats a Quote:
The wife will love it when I tell her I have to get a mistress - she will probably say go ahead as long as she can get one (a gigolo). Quote:
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09-18-2009, 02:47 PM | #13 |
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YO BMW I'M HAPPY FOR YOU AND I'MMA LET YOU FINISH, BUT MERCEDES IS THE BEST CAR OF ALL TIME
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09-18-2009, 02:51 PM | #14 |
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Never noticed that in NYC.
The top spot goes to all the yellow taxi/car service drivers hands-down. My heart always skip a beat when they speed through crowded intersections running red light, honking and swerving to drive back the pedestrians that are already in middle of the road. |
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09-18-2009, 03:11 PM | #15 |
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I know tons of people driving BMWs and none of them match the description from that article.
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09-18-2009, 03:42 PM | #16 |
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Funny and it is somewhat based on the truth.
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