View Single Post
      09-16-2021, 01:56 PM   #52
LuxoM3
(formerly exe36M3)
47
Rep
61
Posts

 
Drives: 2015 BMW 435i
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: NorCal

iTrader: (0)

So... how about a perspective from a dad? An Asian dad. Like a dad who is your dad's age?
Parents are people too... and they have their own set of esteem issues. Culturally (old world) you either brag about your kid being rich or famous or having nothing to say at all.


I'm a Brand & Creative Director with a mid-size tech company in NorCal in my 50s. (People think I'm 30-ish. I ride BMX bikes, play video games competitively, listen to hard rock. Still harassed at stoplights to race).

I'm doing OK by CA standards. House with a low-mortgage, net worth over $1m, have 2 BMWs in the garage, kid in the middle of college (paid for), another in high-school.

Let me tell you what I DID NOT DO RIGHT per my folks:
1. Major in engineering or the med field (I did design/marketing)
2. Married a white woman.
3. Get a masters or PHd.

What I am doing right per my folks:
1. Still believe in God and raising my family to love/respect God, family and country.
2. Taking care of my family.
3. Giving financial advice to them.

Notice, there's nothing in the last three that mention jobs or bragging rights to their social circles. Here's why... TWO things.

ONE
In 7th grade I ended up in French class. I hated it. Two weeks in, I was getting a D and got a slip to drop the class... which my DAD needed to sign. But he said something to me that I will never forget "I'll sign this, I know it's hard, but doing hard things makes you better. I'll leave it up to you whether you want to stay in this class." Right there I told him, I'll stick with it. The next day he bought be a French dictionary. I brought that D to an A- by end of semester. The first time I ever enjoyed making a decision and working to make it happen. Big life lessons right there.

TWO
That same semester my report card was straight As. I worked my tail off for those grades because I was not (am not) one of those *smart* Asians. I showed my mom when I got home. She said, "What's this A- for?". I said it was French. She said, "This should have been an A." From that point forward, I vowed to myself to NEVER do anything to make someone else happy. I did the work, it was not for anyone to criticize. She put in zero effort into helping me with my homework or grades. Yeah no.

So what's this story telling all for?

ONE - you WILL always have hard decisions, but you never grow or get better or become anyone avoiding the hard decisions. And those decisions will involve loss, effort, and risk... for a short while.

TWO - you can't kill yourself working for someone else. You'll never be appreciated enough or fulfilled enough. Mom, dad, girl, love interest, a boss... until you do it for yourself... all the effort is meaningless.

My daughter's boyfriend in a similar life dilemma... either DEFY his mom/dad and make something of his life or stay... right now he's choosing to stay... and guess what... the gears are ticking in little girl's head... she doesn't plan on waiting...

You will lose more than ever gain by not moving forward.

And yes, finish your degree. Get it in marketing. There's plenty of Asians in marketing.
A degree isn't a guarantee you'll be a success, but statistically, you'll make about $100k more than anyone else without one. You can work and do the degree. Don't be lazy. :P
essejM360.50
Mosaud19983940.50
sygazelle11416.00
chassis6552.50
DocL1930.00
shimmy232350.00
540iSUP704.00
Germanauto9702.50