Quote:
Originally Posted by ryan stewart
Youre applying a selection bias though, tons of people manage to ruin their lives without marraige. Jobs, cars, houses, drugs, knocking some chick up, getting knocked up, etc.
Im 40 and never married. Personally it holds no value to me because of a lot of the reasons you mentioned (its not required for a commitment, Im a heathen, etc). Not saying I never would, but it would be more of a gift I gave to the right woman, not something Id ever need.
But the times I have gotten close the risk to me was minimal. Most states have moved on from the old ways by now, if they do spousal support or equity distribution of assets its really just a comparison of earners and earning potential.
One advantage of not dating 20 year olds is the women Ive been with can make their own money, own their own homes, etc. The current girlfriends situation is similar. Her house is worth about as much as mine and she only owes about $50k more. I make about double than she does but, at least on paper, her net worth is more than mine because of her business. Georgia is one of those states where you show what you brought in and you can take it with you, its just the additional wealth accrued during the marriage that has to be figured out. House is easy, she could try for temporary spousal support (which is short here anyway) but then Id go for equity in the business, so likely Id just say, "You don't ask for spousal support and I wont ask for equity, deal?"
Honestly that's the most common situation among my group of friends. Most just uncoupled because they were both high earners with degrees, etc. Even those with kids just ended up with 50/50 with one person being "primary" and they end up paying something paltry like a couple of hundred bucks for child support a month. Its only going to be a war if you are really imbalanced in wealth/earning in a backwards state.
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But this implied that both are fairly equal AND not vindictive. Usually you are getting a divorce due to some reason, and some of those reasons can mean someone is pissed and vindictive - and then they get lawyers involved - it can get ugly fast.
Like you - I try and assess those types of people in advance and avoid them. But we all know people who seem to gravitate to drama or can't stand being along and grab whatever walks by, etc. Like I said - most times you can point to the error they made getting married, but it happens - a lot.
I agree everyone should stand up to their responsibilities - but destroying someone's life, just because it's "legal", is scary as hell.
Choose wisely and you don't have to worry about it. I think you should look at it just like you would a business partner before you even consider it. Lay all your cards on the table - credit reports everything. If you would not trust them to manage their own money, don't get legally involved.