Quote:
Originally Posted by Not_Judy
Been in this exact situation. Here are you options:
- Do not get into any kind of serious relationship with this girl. PERIOD. I refer to her behavior as "Monkey Syndrome" she isn't going to let go of one branch until she has another that she knows will support her. AGAIN, DO NOT GET CLOSE TO HER. You can only expect her to treat you the same way she is treating him.
- If you have sex with her just to let him know, you may potentially end up with an enemy on your hands here. You don't want this in this day age. People tend to over escalate things. The mental stress, physical harm or possible financial liability isn't worth it. On the other hand, he may thank you for it.....I doubt it though. Either way, he's going to be upset in some form.
- If you have sex with her and keep it on the down low......there are several issues with this.
- If it's good, she's going to want it all the time and so
will you. She will either leave him for you, which is
shitty or she will continue to cheat on him with you,
which is shitty as well.
- If it's something that you end up not being into, you
you never know until you try, you've now been "the. other guy" and run the risk of
him finding out and run the risk of him possibly
starting problems with you.
- If you have sex with her while she is still with him
put yourself in his shoes. Would you want to be with
a girl who is considering having sex with another
guy behind your back. The mental anguish that
comes with this is not cool.
The gentlemanly thing to do here is avoid the situation all the way around. There are women out there that will have freaky sex with you that aren't involved with another man. Considering that you've not had the kind of sex she is offering before, you're going to want it again. It will turn into a reoccurring situation and she'll either just want the sex and continue with the current guy or she'll leave him for you. Consider if she leaves him for you, at some point she will find someone else to have sex with, while with you, and then leave you for the new guy.....Monkey Syndrome. This is just how some women operate....typically narcissists. This only the beginning of her showing you who she is. If she is like this in the beginning, there will only be more underlying problems moving forward.
I have been in this situation from being in your shoes, being the guy she is with now and also being her. There is no favorable outcome. I can't expect you to learn from my experiences/mistakes as ultimately you are going to do whatever you are going to do; I can only give you the potential outcomes and allow you to make the decision yourself.
I hope this helps.
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you're right my man, i made it clear that i did not want anything more than physical and i was not going to promise anything afterwards but at the end of the day i can
1- find someone without a relationship to have any form of sex with
2- we both kinda agreed nothing might come out of it but i'm not looking to have a potentially clingy person with these traits run after me
3- i actually feel bad for the guy to some extent, i kinda phrased that wrong in the post above but you get what i mean.
the best outcome would be to avoid too mostly because of the stuff that happened in the car - i also like to think of myself as a bit higher than just being someone's male version of a mistress...
also funny you mentioned the monkey syndrome, she said that herself lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by MKSixer
This. Don't go near it. If she'll do it with you, she'll do it to you.
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oh yeah no worries on that part, she basically explained why she should never be a gf in her own words but i see your point. i geniuinely had not ever heard of the other dude until last night, she knows we're not exclusive. i just didn't know she was exclusive with another dude
