Quote:
Originally Posted by angelr
Can relate. I grew up around several like this on my father's side, my uncles and grandfather were all nuts. Stories too numerous to count but I'll just say that at 12 I would spend the night with one of my uncles in his bodega (spanish harlem in the 80's @lexington and 110th) to guard it against break ins, we'd drink, he'd try to set me up with the 28 year old widower that worked at his favorite restaurant and we'd shoot at anything we saw/heard with the pistols we had. I didn't personally try to hit them but rather scare them off but still not something I allowed my sons to do 
Another time I was the getaway driver in a retaliation delivered via bat by an uncle long before I was legally able to drive.
Another uncle would have me break him out at night so he could go get booze and drugs after my grandparents would lock everything down at night in an attempt to keep him away from his vices. My reward, coke or weed, whichever I wanted! I'd pass stating that there'd be more for him but it's the thought that counts.
My grandfather was a gambling, fighting and philandering asshole right up until he died at some undeterminable age but believed to be well past 100. He knocked my dad out cold at 13 because he was mad at the broken tv he couldn't repair, it was 1953 so that tv was likely pretty costly to be fair. Most of his sons seemed to learn to be much like him so it was always interesting at family gatherings! I had to get involved when there was a 4 way brawl that involved my dad and had to bring peace with a bat, I was 13.
Haven't any real contact with these folks in around 30 years for obvious reasons but I have plenty of memories  |
Holy shit, man...
One time when I was about 11 my dad let me taste his beer. Another time, around that same age, he let me steer the car down the road while he tied his tie. I later realized he was probably also steering the car with his knees, just in case. That's about as crazy as my family got.