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I live on Oahu now and lived in Northern Virginia previously. It’s not even close. Drivers in Hawaii are some of the nicest, most polite drivers I have ever encountered. (Rural Texas was best - almost every car going the opposite direction waived, and drivers on empty two lane highways actually drove onto the shoulder to let me pass). People here let you merge when you put on your signal and trow you a shaka when you do something nice. In fact, the thing that gets to me sometimes is that drivers here ignore traffic rules to be polite - like they will wave you through at a 4 way stop when it’s their turn.
Drivers in NOVA, on the other hand, are some of the most horrible people and unreasonably aggressive drivers I have ever encountered. If you put on your signal, they will universally speed up to keep you from merging. I am very conscientious about looking for a gap when merging on the highway, and I have even had people speed up to keep me from merging ahead of them. Also, for some reason EVERYONE thinks they need to be in the left lane. They also ignore traffic rules, but only to try to screw other drivers over.
Also, while I share some of your frustrations about bike lanes and pedestrians, that problem is in no way unique to Hawaii
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